To think my age gap / sugar baby relationship is nobody else’s business?

I would worry you are losing more than you realise. You are in the prime years to meet a genuine life partner a good man to build an authentic family of your own with. You won’t meet him while you’re in this set up. Depends what you want long term really but that would worry me. I met dh at 29. If you’re not bothered about your own family then crack on I guess.

I hear your logic. But. What about the fact you’re denying yourself a chance to find real love. It is out there and the cost of that is immeasurable.

Why the snarky comment? It was clearly stated in their OP that they are having sex.
Whether the story is true or not, or a troll with the facts/information given it seems like an arrangement which suits both sides for now.

No judgement from me, but I do have questions -do you still work and do you have an exit plan, given that you arent provided for in his will and marriage doesnt sound like its on the table?

Yes, absolutely people can earn that in an office role - finance, senior barrister etc. I think it's more doubting that she was earning 100k a few years out of university (if she went) - those kinds of figures usually take time, experience and networking, to work way up the ladder.

It’s not like you’re 19, you’re almost 30. I wouldn’t really consider this a sugar baby relationship, it’s just a relationship.

And if you’re happy and he’s happy then nobody’s business.

Do you not work at all now? Have i missed this being mentioned?
If not, what about your own financial security, pension etc.
It is your business, if you are both happy just ignore everyone else.
X

Well if you’re both happy and clear about what’s going on then that is no one else’s business. Curious though, do you want a family? Have you given up your job and therefore your own earning potential for when/if this comes to an end? Do you have a longer term plan or just living in the moment?

The real problem you have is long term. This kind of relationship can leave you a bit damaged as well as not having legs long term. So you're going to wake up poor, used and middle aged.

I don't judge the transactional nature per se. I'm the primary earner in my family and now I have children, it's really made me wake up to how horribly unfair this position is. I make the money, work long hours in a job that i don't like but pays well, suffered pregnancies and long term health issues because of it, have always been the primary parent etc etc. While DH is an average middle aged man, an average father, free to pursue a low paid career, multiple hobbies and is therefore a shit provider. All my female colleagues find themselves in the same trap, except the ones who had the brains to marry men who also earn a lot.

I think there is value in more traditional marriage, which at least seemed to value women's sacrifice, in theory. You're trying to achieve that without the security of marriage though which is a fool's game, in my opinion.

Interestingly you have a similar mindset to me.

Different lives tho. I am married to someone my own age and you're right there isn't a lot of fun worrying about how the bills will be paid.

Unfortunately if I was looking for a sugar daddy he'd have to be about 90!

X

@spicysugarbb I guess if you’re able to save, and possibly keep your skills up some way, then all good!

OP, do you want children/a proper family?

You said 'if it goes on 20 years....' - he would then be in his 80's, and possibly need care, are you prepared to take on this?

You mention how his children feel about it, how about your parents, siblings, friends etc? Are they supportive? Yes, strangers may judge and should usually be ignored, but if those close to you are genuinely worried, then I would consider their concerns.

This.

It's nobody else's business, you can do exactly what suits you. You're a lot more honest than my cousin, who married a really horrible, cruel man for his money and tried to pretend it was a big love story.
The thing to ask yourself is how do you see yourself in the future? You have already answered that. It's not the way most women would want to live but it's your life. Everyone is different, so good luck to you.

Essentially you're a sex worker. What will you do when he dumps you because you're to old?

Did you really earn £100k? What field?
Can I have your old job?
😂😂

You were 29 and earning just under 100k? Doing what exactly - this sounds like bollocks

Anyway of course they judge you. You’re shagging their dad for money. You’d do the same as them. You’re already getting what would be their inheritance because it’s being spent on you lol.

Do what you want but they have every right to judge your choices especially when they’re actually polite and civil.

How is your relationship with your own father?

Well in a way you are selling yourself. However, what is wrong with that?? It’s a mutually beneficial relationship! Your life you do what you want! People will always judge, why do you care? Just shrug it off. If you were my friend I wouldn’t care as long as you were safe. Life’s for living mate!!

Legally you’re horribly vulnerable if you don’t keep your earning potential up.

Plenty of office jobs earn £100k+