Thank you all so much. We would be funding the care, and that is one of my worries is what happens if they outlive the funds available, I really can't face them being downgraded or moved because money is no longer available.
The other side of it is I don't want to really facilitate them giving up and putting up with a lifestyle. At the moment we have arranged the alarm, carers who come 4 times a day and a meals on wheels sort of service for food. But they are coming back out of hospital and are scared that even with all of this something might happen.
We are in the process of buying them a retirement flat close to us which will mean we can literally be there in 2 minutes. But they don't want to wait however many months that will take to go through.
So I'm feeling really torn what to do, I have zero experience of all of this and just want to do what's best for them as we all do.
Their fall has left them with a lack of mobility on one side and that is what's fueling this panic. The hospital think they will recover to 80% but they think they won't and will need help forever more going to the toilet and getting out of bed etc.
Argh just don't know what to do for the best, with my other parent it was simpler they would rather cut their own head off than go into a home.