Another weekend and another drunken DP ‘performance’

@Heatwavefry hello. I’m aware that we’re all taking about your relationship, and you’re the one living it, and know that may be uncomfortable for you. Just wanted to say I hope you take time for yourself to decide to do what’s best for you. There’s lots of information out there. Arm yourself with knowledge. Take care.

If you've read the thread properly, the OP's erstwhile partner hasn't simply made 'a single drunken mistake'.

A mature person doesn't make excuses for deliberately leaving bodily fluids on an expensive piece of furniture.

Honestly, the fact he thinks he can treat your place like an unpaid hotel (although only a pig would do something like that) tells you all you need to know - ‘can you see to him’ absolutely revolting, he can ‘see himself out the door’. Dump his sorry arse @Heatwavefry .

You’re being a doormat.
stop this.

I’ve noticed a couple of your posts, I just want to let you know if you type someone’s name they won’t know, but if you type @ then a list of people who have posted on this thread comes up, just select the one you want, or type the first couple of letters and the right one will be there for you to click on. But just typing their name is reliant on them seeing your comment by chance.

Your post made me think of this thread. Such an MN response 🤣🤣🤣

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5558422-to-be-driven-crazy-by-a-few-very-very-common-expressions-on-mumsnet?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

I can't agree with you.

I've got 2 male friends that are kind, funny, brilliant, caring and they hate to upset anyone. They turn into twats after several pints. Their impaired judgement around pint 6/7 means they think they can drink more and be ok. They're wrong.

I know one of them has pissed himself more than once on his stagger home.

I've now learnt to leave them to it at the point they get wobbly and get me a cab home. They can be twats alone. And I can have a good laugh at them when they tell me the twatish antics they can remember.

The fact that he regularly gets totally drunk like this would be a deal breaker for me. What’s maybe ok when you’re young and single is not ok when you’re 30 and starting to speak about moving in (and next of course: having children). Make no mistake OP, he is telling you who he is. If you continue with this man you’ll be back here in a few years, asking for advice again. By that time you’ll have two children, he’ll be a kind but useless dad leaving you dealing with the sleepless nights. You’ll get a divorce, you’ll worry about leaving your children with him every other weekend and you’ll never, ever be truly rid of him as he’ll always be your children’s father. I’d throw him back OP, and see if there’s better fish in the sea!

Break up with this absolute loser

Jesus Christ, have some respect for yourself and dump him. How embarrassing even considering sticking around with some guy who treats you like a sex doll, and then dirties your sofa when he doesn’t get what he wants. I have a teenage male dog who behaves with more class than that (and he will hump anything)

Just a short message to Heatwavefry. I’m aware it’s your relationship that is up for discussion here. I got off topic myself when trying to explain to Johnson85. I hope you’re ok there. At the end of the day it’s your decision to make. Hope you take time out to think. Take care. Arm yourself with knowledge and make the best decision for you.

I don’t date men but good god. So he’s either wanked or pissed on your sofa after coming into your home a steaming drunk mess. I don’t know you but I’d say set the bar higher and get rid.

No, no, no. She's just 'broad minded' 😆

Please please leave this man. This exact situation happened with my ex, took me 7 years to leave. I was anxious and dreaded every weekend as the behaviour only got worse. Ending in my house being smashed up. You will be so much happier in the long run

The one who would be ok with this must have some serious self worth / esteem issues…

Worse yet, that "male loneliness epidemic has everything to do with the male tendency to eschew emotional depth and vulnerability in their platonic relationships" and "I simply suggest some occasional leeway in behaviour you find sub optimal"... guy will probably take credit for it, thinking she was swayed by his great diplomacy and reason.

Stop the world, I want to get off. Has someone switched the pod off yet? They're all over the bloody place these days. Did we laugh at Reddit or that Gentlemen4Hire webshite again?

THIS.

But you have a choice in all of this, too. You let him crash at your place after nights out when he's drunk. You can prevent all the wake ups, middle-of-the-night seeing-to requests, the gross mess on your couch by saying "no" to his visits when he's going out. (Change the locks!) That will put an immediate stop to what happens at yours. I hope you dump him, TBH.

BUT if this relationship progresses and you move in together, you'll be stuck with all of it and more, all over again. What if he starts going out more often? Do you really want to live that way?

MN often says "He's showing you who he is. Believe him." I would add this: YOU'RE showing him what kind of behavior you'll accept, and he will DEFINITELY believe you!

You have a voice here. Please use it.

Sounds like an overgrown toddler-waking you up and leaving messes at night. He needs to get help (so do his family, from what you say), and if he won't, you should seriously think about whether you want to put up with this.

People who are twats when they're pissed are twats when they're sober - they just hide it better.
He is telling you who he is.
Believe him.
Tell him to get in the bin.

I said you’re being unreasonable- because you are doubting yourself that this is completely bat shit behaviour and you’re questioning whether or not you’re reasonable to telling him to get out.

He’s wanked or pissed himself on your sofa and you’re telling him it’s ok mate, you can sleep here until the morning.

Next time a man even remotely behaves in this manner around you it doesn’t matter what hour it is - he needs to go. I hope you’ve binned him off.

I would bet my house she’s forgiven him again 🙊

The OP hasn’t returned. I’m unfortunately thinking she hasn’t thrown him out 😧

the male loneliness epidemic has everything to do with the male tendency to eschew emotional depth and vulnerability in their platonic relationships and nearly nothing to do with jizzing on the sofa No, no women, you don’t understand! You aren’t deciding not to date or marry us because some of us behave like truffle pigs that haven’t been house trained. It’s because we aren’t emotionally vulnerable with our friends.

Men have never been known for their ability to eschew emotional depth and vulnerability in their platonic relationships. And there has never been a male loneliness epidemic because society taught women that finding a man, any man, and clinging on for grim death, was the only way to be. Now we know different and we’re quickly learning that we don’t have to put up with shit anymore.

Tell him not to return.

I wondered if it was urine, only time will tell. Ok cleaning it up may be better get him some sponges, bio detergent and hot water