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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to compare our finances to our friends with young kids?

53 replies

CliffScreen · 19/07/2026 18:15

I’m 30 happily married with very sweet but chaotic twin 2.5 y/o boys. They are VERY hard work and we’re 99% done with kids.

I sometimes think we aren’t doing ok as my friend has a young daughter and financially they’re in a much better position than us.

I work 2 days a week, husband works FT.
I have £40k saved and invested. We have our own small 3bed house and I also have equity in another home (inheritance).
We try to save around £500 a month but my husband is taking over a business franchise and we know it’ll be 3-4 years until we see real profits and change in our life.

I invest around £320/month into a SIPP. We try to give ourself good amount of spending money to have days out and treats etc.

Until the business is stable and a chunk of the business loan is paid off we will be quite stagnant in our position in life. It’s hard not to compare to others, AIBU to feel this way?

OP posts:
Ella31 · 19/07/2026 22:18

I hate these threads, so goady. My beautiful twin boys are gone 2.5 years, ironically same age as yours. But mine passed away in the NICU. Sometimes op, its wise to look around and say life is good, thankfully we are doing well. I miss my boys terribly. Being jealous of others is pointless. Embrace each day. I know I would if I could have them back.

WonderingWanda · 19/07/2026 20:55

You can compare yourself to whoever you want, there will always be someone better off than you and always someone worse off. What do you hope to achieve with all this comparing? Is it something productive like recognising that you fritter too much money away on takeaways and that if you fix that you'll save x amount a year? Or that you look at what you have achieved in the past year and feel proud. Unless you are comparing for constructure reasons all it will do is make you unhappy.

Coconutter24 · 19/07/2026 20:52

How many days a week does your friend work? How do you know financially they’re doing better than you?

labamba007 · 19/07/2026 20:47

WaterlooBridge · 19/07/2026 18:20

Twins, you say?

😂😂😂😂😂

nutbrownhare15 · 19/07/2026 19:49

It is hard to not compare to others. Our nature tends to compare to those better off than us. I try quite hard to instead compare myself to those less fortunate than me. It gets easier with practice and I feel gratitude for my life every day.

Velumental · 19/07/2026 19:37

HollyGolightly4 · 19/07/2026 18:16

🙄🙄🙄 keep bragging...

Yep

BleedinglyObvious · 19/07/2026 19:32

Bet you don't have a yacht like ours.

watchingheroesagain · 19/07/2026 19:28

Ditch your husband and go for your friends husband instead as he’s obviously doing better 😂

Nevermind31 · 19/07/2026 19:19

No vineyard this time?

Octavia64 · 19/07/2026 19:18

When I had twins I was 110% done with kids until they were at least 5.

LittleBearPad · 19/07/2026 19:16

MyNeedyLilacBird · 19/07/2026 19:08

Very worryingly situation op especially with the loss of 10k in a week🤔

😂

MyNeedyLilacBird · 19/07/2026 19:08

Very worryingly situation op especially with the loss of 10k in a week🤔

ThisSunnyBea · 19/07/2026 19:00

You sound insufferable (because I probably can’t say braggy fucknugget)

usererror99 · 19/07/2026 18:59

🤣🤣🤣🤣
you work 2 days
you’d ave £500 a month £40k in the bank
£320 in a SIPP

yeah you’re positively on the breadline

WaterlooBridge · 19/07/2026 18:33

BurnTheWholeThingDown · 19/07/2026 18:25

www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5553258-struggling-to-accept-my-savings-staying-flat-while-the-twins-are-small?reply=153479858

That’s a bit of a worry then op, you’ve lost £10k since last week!! Best try and make that up asap.

FIummoxed · 19/07/2026 18:30

I love the idea of being 99% done with kids when you have two made up toddlers.

ChickenBananaBanana · 19/07/2026 18:28

My heart bleeds op

Jk987 · 19/07/2026 18:28

You’re comparing against one friend? How do you know the exact figures to compare against? People aren’t exactly equal, that’s the way the world works…

RunSlowTalkFast · 19/07/2026 18:26

£40k
3 bed house
Equity in another house
Savings hundreds a month while only working 2 days a week.

You've got it much better than the large majority of families. Not sure who you're comparing yourself to.

HoskinsChoice · 19/07/2026 18:24

SallyD00lally · 19/07/2026 18:18

You can feel whatever way you choose to 🤷‍♂️

There's one of these threads at least once a week and I have no idea what the OP's are actually looking for.

Money! They're not real, they're written by Mumsnet to get people frothing at the mouth which makes money for them.

BurnTheWholeThingDown · 19/07/2026 18:24

You did this thread last week.

LittleBearPad · 19/07/2026 18:23

Not entirely sure what you’re looking to get out of this? I’m older than you and don’t have £40k on hand

charliehungerford · 19/07/2026 18:21

I think you are in a very fortunate position. My 32 year old married daughter would love to have children but is paying £1800 a month rent on a 2 bed house, and can’t envisage being able to afford £2k a month on childcare, they both work full time and also have second jobs to bring in some extra cash. Count your blessings!

WaterlooBridge · 19/07/2026 18:20

Twins, you say?