Neighbours angry at DS for snapping back and daughter’s homophobia - hypocrisy??

I'm honoured that you think of me as being so interesting that you've gone out of your way to trawl through my past thread posts.
❤
Thank you.

Exactly this, any grown adult who think children's crushes are sexual are the ones over sexualising children. I had crushes long before I even knew what the concept of sex was, I wasn't having sexual thoughts about any crushes as a child and it's weird that adults keep making that connection.

Perhaps if you're accused of sounding homophobic on multiple threads you're the common denominator? and should rethink you're wording if you really don't want your comments to be interpretated the way you've been told on multiple occasions they come across as?

It would be nice if MN restored my original post so you could see how inaccurate you are in what you say. It was nuanced and I don't think you read it carefully enough.

Anyway no more from me on this thread.

You used the words "child abuse"

You didn't do any of what you're now claiming, where you use "may be" and "potential" etc

You straight up said it was child abuse if parents were understanding

And you also said things about the "gay agenda" and "forcing children to be gay"

You can claim otherwise now to protect yourself but those of us who saw it know it was blatantly homophobic

That is a complete untruth.

My language was careful. I said words to the effect that those parents who actively encourage their children to embrace being gay (or straight, for that matter but because that is the norm it doesn't feature so much) in their pre teen or early teen years were doing their children no favours whatsoever.

I went on to point out that I 100pc support people's right to lead their lives as they see fit and that my post was in no way an attack on gay people.

I also made the point that lots of children are confused about their sexuality in their teenage years and that this was something that they had to navigate themselves and that parents can do no more than passively support them as they navigate their developing sexuality.

Finally I pointed out that sexuality is a spectrum and that there are many examples of people who redefine their sexuality much later in life.

All these points were intended to reinforce the main point that over active parental affirmation of a young persons sexual identity is potentially harmful especially if there is a possibility that the person concerned will grow out of it.

To the last point a number of posters earlier in the thread made exactly that point that they had thought themselves interested in same sex relationships in their early teens only to discover later that this was not the case.

I have no idea why my carefully written earlier post was deleted. I can only assume that whoever moderates here didn't read it carefully themselves and reacted to your or another poster's completely unjustified accusation of homophobia.

It does feel very tricky (as a parent) when your young child tells you they are gay. My then 8 yo announced she was a lesbian. I didnt encouraged it beforehand my philosophy is pretty much as a grown you are attracted to the opp sex, the same sex or both and that is fine but that’s really something for when you’re older.

Schools do play a large part I think children are often taught adult concepts and terminology they struggle to deal with and then label themselves. It’s oversimplified though for example only like people of same sex then perhaps you are gay,

A few years down the line (11 now) and perhaps boys aren’t so bad so she has relabelled herself bisexual. Her twin sister describes herself as a aromantic throughout as has never been keen on “crush” culture. Children today seem very keen on labels. I am not.

I am very much in the the if you two have girlfriends / boyfriends or are single when your older then that’s absolutely fine now what shall have for tea camp.

Randomly the boys in her class are frequently using gay as a slur against each other but no one has ever said anything homophobic to her since she also told the class at age 8.

Shouting 🙄😂

Yeah, they let their true colours shine with that comment for sure.

Another shouty responder who appears not to have read fully the post they have quoted and are presumably responding to.

And the homophobia keeps on coming. Parents don’t push being gay on to their children no more than parents of straight children push being straight. Some children know very early on at the age when children start to have crushes and it’s absolutely crucial that parents are supportive. Demonising, persuading against or speaking about being gay in any negative way just leads to future MH problems. There is nothing wrong with being gay, nothing. It’s neither here nor there if a child thinks they’re gsy. People are born gay or straight. Saying a parent who supports their child when they say they think they’re gay are abusers is homophobia pure and simple.

Great that your DS had the confidence and security to come out to you in yr 6.

An 8 year old being exposed to conversations about your DSs sexuality is maybe a bit of over exposure, that you suggest may have come from things overheard at school.

I had a conversation with my DGD recently, she doesn’t swear, she says by personal choice but she says the majority of children in her year, 10, do. So @TheNoisyDeer, your DS speaking to an 8 year old in this way might be what he considers appropriate.

Both children need speaking to about how they address others. You can only speak for and to your DS. You can be upset about the way the situation was handled by the parents of the 8 year old. You can do nothing about that, but you can look after and guide your DS and bring him up to understand that verbal abuse is never justified.

The 8 year old needs protecting from being spoken to the way your DS spoke to her, she is too young. I have a DGS, 7 soon to be 8. He doesn’t know about homosexuality yet, but he would understand if someone said “bad words” to him and the level of anger your DS expressed.

If you witnessed an adult speaking to a child like your DS did, you would be horrified.

Gay conversion therapy for kids is banned, and rightly so. Why put it in quotes? Such things have existed, especially in the US

The issue is banning so-called trans conversion, which is ridiculous as no one us born in the wrong body. There is no such thing as trans conversion therapy and it should not be banned.

I agree no child should be told they are 'straight' or 'gay' at that age as it's not the right stage. But children that age can have crushes, that's not abuse.

He was talking about crushes, not sex, as per OP's post? Crushes aren't sexual at that age.

I agree children can't know who they will like as an adult at that age, so shouldn't come out, but they can have crushes.

See this thread, for one, for examples:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/parenting/5547656-12-year-olds-in-a-relationship

Where did it say he was thinking and talking about sex???

Thinking and talking about sex at 10 is!!!! FFS

Being gay isn't the over sexualision of children
H2H

What happened? What the fuck happen for a 10-year old to think of sex, never mind coming out as gay? Are his parents mad? Are you all mad? Children should be children and not think of all that shit at all - don't they play or read or do sport? Or study? What the fuck happened to them and their parents, not putting a stop to this super-early sexualisation of children??????

Ffs just when you couldn't get more homophobic...

It's some homophobic bullshit is what it is

No one questions a child showing straight attraction at that age (and no kid comes out as straight because that's the assumed state) but a child says that are gay and suddenly it's child abuse and an agenda?

Maybe he wants to be a train driver or a fireman too at age 10? 🤭