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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to object after he assumed he and his daughter would move in?

389 replies

Trombolice · 04/06/2026 15:17

Name changed for this.

Been seeing someone for around a year and a half. This morning he casually dropped it into conversation that his daughter might have to move schools when they move. I asked where he was moving to and he said “I mean when we move in together?”

I said “who said anything about moving in together??” So he said “well not now obviously but at some point we will surely?” So I said “and where are you assuming we’ll live?”

Long story short he had it in his head that he and his daughter would be moving in to my house. His rationale is that I have “so much more space” and much more space than I need and it’s selfish to not want to share it.

I said I have no intention of having anyone live with me! He’s now gone off on a major strop saying I have too many unused bedrooms and it’s “unfair” etc

I think he has got his daughter believing they will be moving in to my house too. They live in a two bedroom house.

AIBU??

OP posts:
HolidayHattie · 04/06/2026 15:43

Check out PithyBeaker's posts for how it would end up.

Starts here:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5513388-aibu-to-think-blended-family-life-is-draining-us-all

ThreadGuardDog · 04/06/2026 15:42

warmsmell · 04/06/2026 15:41

I don't think he's necessarily a cocklodger OP. Just that he's got a sense of entitlement thats all.

Isn’t that the same thing ?

ThreadGuardDog · 04/06/2026 15:42

He’s shown his hand as a cocklodger. Bin.

BCBird · 04/06/2026 15:41

Selfish not sharing your space- CF!!!

warmsmell · 04/06/2026 15:41

I don't think he's necessarily a cocklodger OP. Just that he's got a sense of entitlement thats all.

StormGazing · 04/06/2026 15:40

This assumption would massively piss me off too!

outerspacepotato · 04/06/2026 15:38

A year and a half and he's got a kid and already wanting to move into your place because it's bigger.

He's not in it just for you, he's got his greedy eyes on your property. He showed what it's about when he got mad about you saying no to his assumption he and his kid would be moving in.

Dump. He's extremely unreasonable to be making any kind of assumptions about moving in in the first place. Moving in with his kid, come on. He's looking for a bangmaidnanny with a nice home. Now you know.

PhuckTrump · 04/06/2026 15:38

Rent-free too?

Whitney Houston Whatever GIF
Coconutter24 · 04/06/2026 15:38

Tbh I think it’s fair enough to maybe think about the idea of living with your gf/bf in the future if you’re building a life together. It’s not fair to just decide whose house that will be without a discussion or a talk about whether it’s something you both want

DancingLions · 04/06/2026 15:38

It seems to be so common now that men expect to move into a woman's home. This was an issue when I was dating in my 40s/50s. At that age a lot of single men were living in one bed flats, at best. Some were in studios or house shares. I get it, we live in London and it's hard so I didn't judge. But ultimately I don't want to live with anyone again and, ultimately, I think these men are looking for a home. It made things feel unequal and it's hard to know how much they like you and how much they like your home!

Lampzade · 04/06/2026 15:35

He has got it all worked out , hasn’t he ?
Free accommodation , cook , cleaner, nanny and sex on tap
The audacity

Shinyandnew1 · 04/06/2026 15:34

You could end up like the poster on another thread in a few years, where his daughter will be ringing you with her new boyfriend demanding that your house is left to her as her inheritance when her dad dies so she can boot you out into the street!

BoogieVoogieAllNightLong · 04/06/2026 15:34

Lampzade · 04/06/2026 15:32

Honestly Op, I would re think this relationship .The fact that he went off in a strop is a red flag.
He is a user

Edited

Not to mention that he called her selfish and unfair.

DugnuttEyeBoogies · 04/06/2026 15:33

ThatsMargaretyoubigot · 04/06/2026 15:22

🚨Cocklodger alert 🚨

Exactly what I was going to say. Good use of alarm emoji too 👏

Silverbirchleaf · 04/06/2026 15:32

arethereanyleftatall · 04/06/2026 15:31

This would have been a relationship ending conversation for me op. I’m surprised it wasn’t for you. He is very very clearly only using you for your house.

I agree.

Lampzade · 04/06/2026 15:32

Honestly Op, I would re think this relationship .The fact that he went off in a strop is a red flag.
He is a user

Silverbirchleaf · 04/06/2026 15:32

The classic single dad who rents and/or lives in a small place, and latches onto a single woman with property. Just think, then he’ll have money he can spend on daughter and op, have a bigger place to live, and food and washing etc all sorted, plus childcare for his child. Win: win - for him!

Well done in having your eyes opened and finding out sooner than later his plans. Let him strop. Not your problem.

Pootles34 · 04/06/2026 15:32

Too many unused bedrooms 😂Is he the bedroom tax? Do all of us with spare bedrooms need to keep an eye out for lurking cocklodgers?

arethereanyleftatall · 04/06/2026 15:31

This would have been a relationship ending conversation for me op. I’m surprised it wasn’t for you. He is very very clearly only using you for your house.

warmsmell · 04/06/2026 15:30

😁Lol, no marriage proposal? Just an expectation that he'd be moving in with you.

Honesty men crack me up. Every single move they make and every single thing they do is for something that benefits them. They don't do ANYTHING that doesn't benefit them.

Women should be more like men.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 04/06/2026 15:29

ThatsMargaretyoubigot · 04/06/2026 15:22

🚨Cocklodger alert 🚨

That is exactly what I was going to say. Run, fast.

SunnyRedSnail · 04/06/2026 15:29

Well at least you now know that your house makes up part of the attraction towards you!!

What you now need to establish is if he actually likes you as a person or swear you as a nice house for him and his daughter.

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/06/2026 15:28

Assuming your relationship is heading towards living together is one thing, not too bad.

This though... He’s now gone off on a major strop saying I have too many unused bedrooms and it’s “unfair” etc

Fuck off cocklodger.

Shinyandnew1 · 04/06/2026 15:28

What a charmer! Presumably now you’ve seen through his CF assumptions and plans and will be splitting up with him?

DalmationalAnthem · 04/06/2026 15:26

Dump any man who tantrums or any man who expects you to provide housing for him and his offspring.
What an embarrassment of a man.

If he feels his kid needs extra rooms, why has he failed to provide them for her?

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