To ask if anyone lives on a small Scottish Island?

There is a lot of Scotland that isn’t remote islands, @NewStartFamily - some places that are really remote, some that are bustling inner city, and everything in between.

We have never regretted moving from Essex to near Glasgow - we live in a village within an easy drive of countryside, city and coast. There are good transport links, good schools, good hospitals, and plenty for kids to do - my dses did so many different things - hockey, drama, musicals, choir, cricket, BMX style biking, off road cycling and even tractor appreciation with the Young Farmers.

Where we are is probably more urban than you are looking for, but I would encourage you to look at different areas of Scotland, not just the islands. I am sure you can find the balance between the rural escape you are looking for and somewhere that still allows you fairly easy access to a social life and services for you and your son.

As I said in my post earlier on this thread, I would be very careful about how isolated you choose to be - as a kid, my parents moved us to a very remote, tiny village, where dsis and I were complete outsiders, and that really damaged my mental health. Honestly, after a decade living there, I could count the number of friends I had on the fingers of one hand - not for want of trying.

There are still Gaelic speakers on Tiree so be prepared to start learning some Gaelic - it’s a beautiful language

It is indeed! And also one of the windiest! If we don’t leave with sunburn, we leave with windburn!! Honestly love it there but wouldn’t want to experience a winter there!

One other thing to add regarding schooling. You mentioned that you would consider enrolling your child into the local school and also that the move is possibly in one to two years when your child will be 10/11.

Scottish schooling and school years are different, typically at age 11 children will be moving up to high school and if you are remote, your child may have to board unless there is a junior high nearby which covers first to fourth year. Depending on your child, this could be a huge jump for them so definitely one more thing to consider.

My friend is from a very rural part of West Scotland and they are still very cut off from people there.
I think it might be worth asking where there are good areas of the country where you can live away from people where it’s still reasonably cheap. Might give you more options, especially with work.

Not to be rude but your post is a tale as old as time - jaded southern english person thinks that shortbread tin Scottish rural spot will solve their ills, meanwhile they're contending with an area that's experienced hundreds of years of oppression (clearances), local jobs crises, lack of governmental support and funding, dismal transport links and a brutal weather system that renders whole communities off the grid for days or weeks at the time. The weather is not simply quite bad, it can be life and death for many. Wealthy property buyers are fuelling a modern day clearances and the issues needs to be addressed in the land reform act by the Scottish govt. Bringing your suspected SEN son to be homeschooled with no mental health support on an island that potentially has no local GP and who will be further ostracised from the community due to being homeschooled is farcical. Scotland will not solve your problems.

Just wondering if you have your heart set specifically on an Island as opposed to living somewhere rural like Brora or Golspie where you are a bit remote with lovely community living but still with easier access to healthcare and a high school for your son if that’s something which appeals to him as he gets a bit older.
Whatever you choose it sounds like you’ll make it work but as others have said the ferries up here are a nightmare at the moment, good luck with whatever you choose to do.

How far south are you just now? It cant be overstated how much the long winters here can impact your psyche after months and months and months - and I'm on the east coast which gets the most sunshine in the country

I've never lived on those islands but one of my cousins left her job, put her house on the market and moved to Shetland. She lasted 4 months.

Beautiful as they are, it's very different living there than it is having a holiday there.

Ferries and weather are not great and everything is expensive as it has to be ferried over. There is a high potential for your son to be quite isolated when he's older, and there may not be a high school/further education on your chosen island, so that travel will need to be factored in. And you'll all need to be able to get around under your own steam.

The scenery is stunning, and you will have more freedom in that you will have land.

Also, I forgot to add, because I have not read the entire thread and don't know if anybody addressed it, the issue of dislike towards all non-islanders and if those newcomers are from England, a palpable dislike of the English. My friend lives on the Isle of Bute, which is not remote or tiny and she, being German, said that she found the only place where the English are disliked more than the Germans. Monthly SNP leaflets through the door, blaming Westminster and the English for every incompetence of the corrupt SNP government, the island voted overwhelmingly for the SNP in the last election. Despite the ferries fiasco, the uncovered SNP corruption and lies, whose fault is it? Correct, Westminster's and of the English.

there are literally 1000s of small places to be invisible to others if this is what you are looking for OP....on a small island you are going to be highly visible

True, my friend lives in a remote rural community although she is on a peninsula rather than an island. She drove a 40 mile round trip to her local playgroup and library (40 minutes each way). She also used to drive an 80 mile round trip to horse lessons (75 minutes each way). The primary school had one class with kids aged 4-11 because there were so few of them. The primary school was in the same settlement as the library/playgroup and the kids were bussed there and back each day. There was an option to stay over at high school Mon-Fri because it was even further away. Opportunities for spontaneous get-togethers are limited because of the distances involved, there were no after school clubs because kids had to get on the one bus a day that would bring them home and no group activities like Scouts because there wasn't enough kids. Her children did have a wonderful childhood because they had so much freedom to explore, but it became more challenging to keep them entertained once they were teenagers.

Honestly from reading your posts it does sound like you all have some significant mental health issues, you talk a lot about traumas and being triggered. Not saying this to be mean but a Scottish island is the last place I’d go at this point. Being lonely, cold, trapped indoors, grappling with power cuts and internet outages as well as no fresh milk/ bread, and without any support network and a 4 hr boat ride from mental health services sounds like a disaster.

In your position I would rent in Scotland, but somewhere an hour or 2 from a big town. Then see how you get on, whether things improve once you’re out of your current area and how your son’s health goes. Get a proper diagnosis and see if there are things that can help him- whether it’s medication, CBT, school or any other service. Possibly buy on the mainland if you like it. Then in a few years consider the islands again.

Religion is more important in some island communities than others, but even in the Western Isles (which was the heartlands of the Free Church of Scotland and used to be famous for tying up the swings on a Sunday to prevent the Sabbath being broken by children playing) things are a much more relaxed now.

She's in for a shock then 🤣

I agree it is super fascinating to read about the remote Scottish Isles and easy to have romantic escapist ideas about what life could be like there.

@NewStartFamily
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5522523-to-just-say-f-it-and-move-to-cornwall-and-homeschool-my-dc?page=1

Read this thread, posters had similar concerns about moving to Cornwall but could this be a more realistic alternative, especially if you'd consider not home schooling?

Potentially very few. I think the roll of the primary school on Eday is about 10. Then aged 12 they have to go weekly boarding on the Orkney mainland. There won’t be cubs or football clubs or other activities as there just aren’t enough kids.

@LillianGish The weather is everything in a place like that. Where I live, in Edinburgh, it doesn't make a lot of difference to me on an everyday basis, but anything that shows the islands basking in glorious sunshine is only showing a small part of the picture.

I spent a glorious family holiday on South Uist in September, in hot sunshine, swimming on beaches that rival the best the Carribbean can offer. But...days like that are incredibly rare, even at the height of summer, and for every day like that, you'll get 20 where you can barely go outside.

What a fascinating thread - so interesting to hear from posters living on remote Scottish islands with their warts and all analysis. I have watched Banjo's hotel renovation on Ulva and his previous Redesigning the Hebrides show which has stunning scene-setting shots of blue seas and skies, magical landscapes, deserted beaches and smooth boat crossings. It looks stunning - no horizontal rain, dark days or storm force winds. Thank you to everyone for sharing your insights - I'm now off to google Highland Cops, and videos of ferries setting sail on stormy seas. Good luck to @NewStartFamily, whatever you decide to do. I think the best advice is to try before you buy and rent somewhere, preferably in the winter months, which you can easily do if you are home schooling - in fact it would be an educational activity whatever you decide.

Doom and gloom?

It's obvious you have never relocated in a significant way and certainly not with a child. I have lived in several countries, each with its own language and had to settle in 4 types of places with new culture, language religion, people. Fairly well travelled and reasonably open minded I'd say 😂

There is a difference between relocating in a way that ticks lots of boxes for your family and is also an adventure (which will still be very challenging once the excitement and dust settle) and trying to integrate in small remote communities with very little provision and a challenging infrastructure on the back of serious family trauma and with a child with SEN who may or may not home school in tow. At the very least OP would do well heading advice on renting there in January and February to get a feel for the place and considering what kind of education is available for her son, as many of the places she mentioned will not have a high school for example. Would he be happy board? Alternatively if he is home schooled there is likely going to be less of a network locally to connect with others who also home school.

And what about medical care including possible support for her family's mental health if such services are a ferry ride away?

Decisions, decisions.