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Original poster

New boyfriend won't dine out. Ever.

917 replies

Beautifulbouquet · 12/03/2025 22:43

I've started seeing someone. He told me yesterday that he doesn't like dining out. Ever.

He would rather I cook or he cooks and if the relationship continues will apparently never go out for brunch or lunch or dinner with me.

I could of course dine out with friends without him. He would not come for example to any meal with friends he was invited to.

His reason is he is vegan and he says he doesn't trust chefs not to contaminate his food.

I honestly feel like saying I cannot see this relationship going anywhere.

OP posts:
Lentilweaver · 15/03/2025 14:05

Everytime I look at this thread OP has added yet another dealbreaker. Now hea's a drinker and depressed.

We now have
Vegan who wont eat out ever
Brings his own potatoes
Thinks a tofu sandwich is fun
Does not go on holiday
Doesnt shower
Dresses only in black
Keeps a dirty kitchen
Drinks to excess
Depressed but won't see a doctor

But she still won't break up with him properly. Baffling!

Mrsgreen100 · 15/03/2025 13:56

It’s a really odd stance to take , there are now so many vegan restaurants!!!
Suspect that his issues are huge and this is the tip of an iceberg,
the thing that sounds alarming is it’s to do with not trusting people,
also bread and cold tofu , he’s bonkers
im vegan and have never stooped that low on my food choices!!!
throw him back into the weirdo pond

Ionut · 15/03/2025 13:23

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

How dull.

Don't you do anything that isn't "a waste of money?Never go out to the pub? Never meet up just because? Only ever buy basic ingredients for food? Presumably

Bitofanchange · 15/03/2025 13:23

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

you don’t think people are in a different financial position to you?

IMO it’s not a waste of money, it’s one of lifes wonderful activities.

Ionut · 15/03/2025 13:21

Beautifulbouquet · 15/03/2025 11:56

I think he'd class as a heavy drinker. We literally never hung out without drinking.

He's depressed. He doesn't want therapy or medication as he doesn't trust doctors.

Show quote history

God, he gets worse!!! You're well rid! 😀

Coloursingreydays · 15/03/2025 12:34

No thank you. He sounds cheap. Vegan or not

sidebirds · 15/03/2025 12:05

Beautifulbouquet · 15/03/2025 11:53

He was never going to go on a holiday. He hasn't been on one in at least six years and I couldn't even get him to do a day trip. The hotel night stay (which included going out for drinks, and to a museum) he seemed to really enjoy.

In the end I just don't think he liked me enough to make any effort.

I told him by text last night about the Foster's and he didn't even reply

It's nothing to do with being vegan it's someone who wants to live their life a certain way and didn't value me enough to consider changing that.

I haven't got my stuff back and don't imagine I will. This is tools etc not just a toothbrush. So that's annoying.

He also said yesterday that he had £80 to last two weeks "without going into his savings" so well done all that also suspected this was about money

I'm being productive then at 2.30 going out for wine with a friend in a beer garden.

I'm actually not at all sure what I saw in him and I also thought he was really into me (wanted to spend every minute possible with me, very affectionate etc) but I'm struggling to see that was the case.

Probably went into a catatonic state of shock when he heard about the Fosters and was forced to wrestle with either cracking a few open to calm his nerves versus frantically searching online for vegan alternatives and then grappling with the additional expense entailed 🤯

Delilaaaah · 15/03/2025 12:02

Alcohol and depression go together.

Does he work?

ArtfulPeachPeer · 15/03/2025 12:02

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Iwanttoliveonamountain · 15/03/2025 12:01

But you must find a way to get your tools back maybe your friend I’ll have some ideas this afternoon

Original poster
Beautifulbouquet · 15/03/2025 11:56

Delilaaaah · 15/03/2025 11:52

Do you think he is a problematic drinker - maybe he prioritises his money on home deliveries of Fosters? State of his flat sounds like alcohloic squalor and the blinds being down maybe to cope with hangovers?

I think he'd class as a heavy drinker. We literally never hung out without drinking.

He's depressed. He doesn't want therapy or medication as he doesn't trust doctors.

OP posts:
Original poster
Beautifulbouquet · 15/03/2025 11:53

He was never going to go on a holiday. He hasn't been on one in at least six years and I couldn't even get him to do a day trip. The hotel night stay (which included going out for drinks, and to a museum) he seemed to really enjoy.

In the end I just don't think he liked me enough to make any effort.

I told him by text last night about the Foster's and he didn't even reply

It's nothing to do with being vegan it's someone who wants to live their life a certain way and didn't value me enough to consider changing that.

I haven't got my stuff back and don't imagine I will. This is tools etc not just a toothbrush. So that's annoying.

He also said yesterday that he had £80 to last two weeks "without going into his savings" so well done all that also suspected this was about money

I'm being productive then at 2.30 going out for wine with a friend in a beer garden.

I'm actually not at all sure what I saw in him and I also thought he was really into me (wanted to spend every minute possible with me, very affectionate etc) but I'm struggling to see that was the case.

OP posts:
Delilaaaah · 15/03/2025 11:52

Do you think he is a problematic drinker - maybe he prioritises his money on home deliveries of Fosters? State of his flat sounds like alcohloic squalor and the blinds being down maybe to cope with hangovers?

Bitofanchange · 15/03/2025 11:44

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 15/03/2025 09:24

We’re coming to the end of a 2 week self catering holiday and it’s been lovely, so much better than the shit 3 weeks we spent abroad having to spend a fortune eating out.

Show quote history

Did you eat out?

HomeTheatreSystem · 15/03/2025 11:40

ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself · 15/03/2025 11:35

A ‘page free endless thread scroll’ is your own choice in your own settings that you have changed.

‘Couldn’t see posts in the right order’ - posts are posted to read up or down, again this is something you change in your personal settings.

Show quote history

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/5287660-option-to-see-25-posts-per-page-has-gone

Nope.

ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself · 15/03/2025 11:35

HomeTheatreSystem · 15/03/2025 11:17

In fairness mumsnet hq creating a pagefree endless thread scroll made it very difficult to see what was where. It's entirely possible this poster couldn't see all the other posts in the right order.

Show quote history

A ‘page free endless thread scroll’ is your own choice in your own settings that you have changed.

‘Couldn’t see posts in the right order’ - posts are posted to read up or down, again this is something you change in your personal settings.

HomeTheatreSystem · 15/03/2025 11:35

NaomhPadraigin · 15/03/2025 11:32

Maybe not. But do you really think they could only see one post, posted 2 days earlier, and none of the 800+ posts since?

Show quote history

Yes, entirely possible, it was very glitchy.

NaomhPadraigin · 15/03/2025 11:32

HomeTheatreSystem · 15/03/2025 11:17

In fairness mumsnet hq creating a pagefree endless thread scroll made it very difficult to see what was where. It's entirely possible this poster couldn't see all the other posts in the right order.

Show quote history

Maybe not. But do you really think they could only see one post, posted 2 days earlier, and none of the 800+ posts since?

HomeTheatreSystem · 15/03/2025 11:17

NaomhPadraigin · 15/03/2025 10:48

Presume you're speaking to yourself there, and how rude you were to OP.
You posted 2 days after the thread started, when it was 800+ posts long and the only thing you can say (while quoting the OP 🙄) is "are you asking a question?"
The OP has been very engaging on the thread and has provided lots of detail - try reading past the first post in future!

Show quote history

In fairness mumsnet hq creating a pagefree endless thread scroll made it very difficult to see what was where. It's entirely possible this poster couldn't see all the other posts in the right order.

ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself · 15/03/2025 11:12

WendyA22 · 15/03/2025 10:55

Well all those comments weren't there when I posted mine. I wasn't sure whether she was questioning whether to finish with him or if she wanted suggestions going forward.

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All those comments weren’t there

Oh those pesky Mumsnetters hiding the comments that they wrote two days ago 🤣

Thats really funny, thanks 😂.

NaomhPadraigin · 15/03/2025 11:09

WendyA22 · 15/03/2025 10:55

Well all those comments weren't there when I posted mine. I wasn't sure whether she was questioning whether to finish with him or if she wanted suggestions going forward.

Show quote history

Of course they were (if you'd bothered to read them!) The OP posted 49 times before your "question" - but you stick to your ridiculous story 🙄

NattyStork · 15/03/2025 11:00

ItsCalledAConversation · 15/03/2025 08:21

This thread is a work of art. Modern-day Adrian Mole (despondency, odd habits, absolute lack of self-awareness)/Pandora Braithwaite (middle class cupboards) melancholy romance.

Edited

He sounds more like Jim from Friday Night Dinners..

WendyA22 · 15/03/2025 10:55

NaomhPadraigin · 15/03/2025 10:48

Presume you're speaking to yourself there, and how rude you were to OP.
You posted 2 days after the thread started, when it was 800+ posts long and the only thing you can say (while quoting the OP 🙄) is "are you asking a question?"
The OP has been very engaging on the thread and has provided lots of detail - try reading past the first post in future!

Show quote history

Well all those comments weren't there when I posted mine. I wasn't sure whether she was questioning whether to finish with him or if she wanted suggestions going forward.

NaomhPadraigin · 15/03/2025 10:48

WendyA22 · 15/03/2025 09:32

Don't be so rude

Show quote history

Presume you're speaking to yourself there, and how rude you were to OP.
You posted 2 days after the thread started, when it was 800+ posts long and the only thing you can say (while quoting the OP 🙄) is "are you asking a question?"
The OP has been very engaging on the thread and has provided lots of detail - try reading past the first post in future!

SwingTheMonkey · 15/03/2025 09:49

Snakebite61 · 15/03/2025 09:05

A lot of shallow people on here. It's his preference, don't damn him for it. But if you love dining out, then maybe look elsewhere.
I suppose it depends how much you are into him.

Show quote history

Shallow? How so?

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