Girl pulled dd’s pants down

It would be useful to understand what you yourself want to happen before your meeting with the head to discuss it. You can then set out your argument properly.

Since you have already made the mum aware, I think beyond letting the club know it happened (so they can keep an eye), there isn't much more to do.
Whilst the girl is old enough to know better, she is still young and children sometimes do silly things on the spur of the moment without really thinking it through.
Obviously if it happens again, then you could raise it further.

I'm not sure what else can be done apart from letting the club know.

Seven year olds do daft things sometimes.

There will be a limit to what the head can do about an organised activity outside of school, but they will want to be aware of it in case a pattern emerges.

So the parent is getting the 7 year old child to apologise?
What more do you want her to do?
It's upsetting to see your child upset but you are overreacting.

I would speak to the club and ask them to keep an eye on things to make sure there are no further incidents but beyond that, what are you actually expecting to happen?

Yes, let's play down the feeling of a 7 year old girl who has had her private parts flashed to a group of boys.

Just brush it over.

🙄

I'm amazed at the amount of acceptance for incredibly cruel actions, here.

7 year olds have had their 'what's in my pants is just for me' talk by that age. The girl who did this knew full well what she was doing.

It's not 'silly' it's bullying and it's cruel.

The expectation for OP's DD to just walk back in there like nothing happened is ridiculous.

What happened before the girl did it to your dd? And where was the teacher at the time? There are 2 important questions.

This is serious from a safeguarding perspective imo. The school definitely ought to have a talk with the child who did it about respecting other childrens' right to privacy and safety. All children should learn about keeping safe, not flashing private parts etc in pshe. I'd check your school's website to see what pshe stuff they teach in this area.

I wouldn't go in all guns blazing, as it's been and done, but I'd go in clear that you aren't happy about it and want to make sure it doesn't happen again. For all you know the other child could have an unstable home life and very vulnerable because of their living situation, so it is important to make sure it's appropriately documented - to keep the other child safe, as well as your own dd.

I'm quite surprised at the reactions as well! Would it be the same if the child had been a 7 year old boy pulling a girls pants down? Just silly kids etc? If this had happened to my daughter boy or girl I would be mortified for her and would want the child who had done this to be properly spoken to either by the school or the club so that they understand the ramifications in an age appropriate way, not just to be made to apologise.

Your poor dd. It's quite an extreme thing to happen. I never heard of anyone doing that to another child during mine or my dcs' childhood. I hope the club and school take it seriously as its totally unacceptable. They need to find out what's going on with that child.

I'm gobsmacked at some of the responses here implying you just need to get over it. In my opinion a 7 year old knows that this is absolutely not on.

I would expect consequences for the child in question - possibly a 2 or 3 week suspension from the club (natural consequences - if you can't be trusted to behave, you cannot attend), a discussion with the entire group emphasizing why this sort of behaviour is not acceptable.

And if I was the parent of the culprit I would be seriously unimpressed, there'd be a discussion about how disappointed I am, I'd expect an apology letter to be written and be considering consequences at home.

Better to crack down on this sort of thing at 7 than he dealing with a bully / allegations of sexual assault at an older age.

If the Head says you are overreacting, offer to pull their pants down.

Who is running the club? Is it school or an after school club? Is it a year 2 or year 3 7 year old (thinking the NSPCC pantosaurus resources and if they would be appropriate).
I don't think it matters whether it was all girls or boys present, no one should be doing this and playing this game.

@Miramar79 You are not overreacting. I would want this to be raised as a safeguarding issue and both the girl and her parents to be spoken to by the Head and/or whoever is in charge of the activity. Your poor daughter needs to know that you taking this seriously (from your actions, you obviously are) and that she shouldn't have to accept this type of treatment and it's no less serious because a girl did it and not a boy. As for the girl who did it, what a strange thing to do to another girl in front of a group of boys. If anything, you are helping her by insisting she's spoken to by someone in authority rather than just her parents. She needs to explain why she felt she had to do this and to understand how serious her actions were.

Teacher here. Was this a sports class at school or a club elsewhere? I’d it was a school club, you absolutely must report it to the staff member in charge of safeguarding. Several issues here: how did the supervising teacher not see? Sport is inherently risky so the teacher should have been supervising at all times; if he/she left the group unsupervised, that could be a disciplinary matter. Your daughter has been exposed in front of her peers, most of whom were boys. The culprit may herself be at some risk as this behaviour didn’t come out of the blue, so has someone else done similar to her? The school absolutely has a safeguarding responsibility to all concerned.

If the incident happened in a changing room away from an adult’s eyes, that is different, but still needs to be reported.

if it was a sports club outside school, then it’s nothing to do with school but a reporting to the club.

It is possible that the culprit was being silly and intended to pull down your daughter’s shorts only but unintentionally pulled her pants down too. It’s still wrong of course, but the intent might not be what everyone is assuming. Unfortunately it’s a fairly common practice for boys to pull each other’s shorts down as a ‘joke’ but I’ve never come across a girl doing this before.

Either way, it needs addressing by the school or club concerned, not just by the parent.

The sports club absolutely need to respond. They should be mortified by it. Is it completely separate from the school? If so, find out who's the 'boss' and approach them.

Something similar happened to a girl in Dds school. It turned out that the person that did it was being abused herself at home.
Please speak to the school.

If it's children from the school then I would be mentioning this to the school as well as the club. I think they need to have a talk across the school about private parts being private. There is a good chance the girl who did this was messing around and only intended to pull her friends shorts down, but this is still not appropriate.
If the girls are in the same class it may be worth letting their teacher know and at school staff can keep an eye out as to whether this game is being played by anyone else

I honestly can't believe some posters here are minimising this. It is not acceptable in any shape or form or for any reason. I think you're doing the right thing in speaking to the head and I hope that a stern word will be had with this child, since her mother doesn't seem to think it's a big deal. I would hope that the Principal will not think you are overreacting and will take it very seriously. I think perhaps that both the fact that you haven't had a reply from the club and that the child's mum is being somewhat blase about it are making you think the Principal's reaction will be the same. Continue to push the sports club for a response. I feel so bad for your DD. If this had happened to me at her age I would have been absolutely traumatised.

Not read through all the replies, but surely there is a safeguarding issue here? And it should not, in any way, be ‘minimised’ or dismissed.

In effect your child had her genitals publicly exposed against her will - I appreciate it was a 7yo who did it, but this is assault? The girl who did it may have been being silly, but (as a former beaver scout leader, Brownie pack leader and childminder of children ages 5-10) I’ve never encountered this sort of behaviour ever, and would actually refer the family to social services to ensure that there is nothing underlying it and that parenting support was in place.

Re the company/school running the Extra curricular - they need to hold an investigation as to how a the children were left unsupervised such that this was able to happen. And they need to issue a serious apology. It is a major breach of safeguarding and their duty of care to the children in their charge.

As a former shout/brownie leader I would be mortified and, yes, kacking myself over the implications of this event. As a parent I would be screaming from the rooftops.

That's not acceptable at all. Mortifying for your daughter and speaking from experience something she'll never forget especially because it happened in front of boys who saw her privates. Awful. I hope the mother of this child explains properly why this is so bad and gets a real apology for your daughter and that school take it seriously. NSPCC offer schools information on PANTS, privacy information etc. Maybe an assembly would help at school as a reminder to all about privacy and keeping their grubby hands to themselves!

I cannot believe some of the replies here brushing this off as silly behaviour. How utterly humiliating for your DD OP, I hope she’s ok. The girl in question needs a serious talking to, intentional or not she needs to be told that this isn’t acceptable behaviour and likewise the head should be having words with the mother to set expectations.

I would be surprised if the Head is dismissive. I would expect them to treat it as a safeguarding issue. I would imagine the schools safeguarding policy and behaviour policy will be available to view on the schools website. Have a little read beforehand. Forearmed is forewarned.
She definitely needs to be spoken to because it’s completely inappropriate.