Non-binary colleague using disabled toilet

Whatever.

I'm still with the colleague.

I can’t explain how much your statement would be offensive to my physically disabled mother. She would be offended that you think someone’s thoughts or anxieties trump her need to use facilities designed for her.

You being ‘offended’ doesn’t make you correct. It’s offensive to some that you feel disabled bathrooms shouldn’t be protected for the very people they are intended for.

I have sympathy for people who have gender dysphoria and believe that they're born in the wrong body. It's a genuine mental health condition and must be very distressing. That doesn't mean that I would affirm their delusion.

I have no time for people who call themselves NB. Nobody has ever managed to explain it without resorting to regressive gender stereotypes.

If someone calls themselves NB and is too anxious too pee if they see a sign on a toilet that they don't like, then they need to grow up a bit.

There are people with genuine problems - including disabled people whose spaces you are happy to give away - and these narcissists need to get a grip.

I could understand the anxiety argument more if it wasn’t for the fact that in the situation the OP describes the non disabled toilets are self contained so not the mixed sinks area issue

You have posted post after post arguing about this. There is a statutory definition of disability which I do not meet. The "personal defintion" is yours.

Just stop it now. You are inventing things I've never said. I don't know to what purpose or point, but stop making things up.

This is none of your business

That it occupies the disabled toilet. A gender neutral option would be better (not that that will go down well the the TRAs).

Genelly I am not. I think baby changing facilities should be in both male and female toilets, and leave the disabled toilet to the disabled.

What a load of rubbish.

I was born with a cleft soft palette. It's not a visible condition. You won't notice it at all if I speak, either. My late DH was 70% deaf and had glaucoma - virtually blind on one side. That's also invisible.
They are disabilities. However, neither requires access to a disabled toilet - which should be left entirely for those who do need one. And imaginary identities really don't cut the mustard there!

One look between your legs tells you exactly what you are. And being Trans does not make you disabled.

You seem to be easy with the word disability!

Urinary and bowel problems aren't visible. The OP has no way of knowing this person isn't affected by something of that nature.

It is if a customer desperately needs to use the disabled loo.

She works with him so would know something was wrong by now. She knows they are non binary. They need to use another toilet and be considerate.

Sexual orientation is not a choice. Being trans/non-binary may be, unless it's the thing we are not allowed to mention on MN. Trouble is, if you can ID as non-binary, there must be a binary to be 'non'. So sex is binary, yes?

If their condition means they are physically unable to use a conventional toilet, then they are entitled to use a disabled toilet. This might be because they need the space to maneauvre a chair or for a carer, the higher toilet, rails, a private sink to clear themselves or wash equipment, large nappy bin, or it could be the location of the disabled toilet - they can’t manage stairs to the other toilets, or for reasons of urgency for those with incontinence.

In terms of the statutory definition; if you need access to disabled toilets, for the above reasons, in order to leave your home then you meet the definition for disabled as far as disabled toilet provision is concerned, whether you identify as disabled or not.

The duty to apply ‘reasonable adjustment’ only applies to disability NOT to gender identities.

@Grammarnut
Sexual orientation is not a choice.

According to many people it is lol

Being trans/non-binary may be, unless it's the thing we are not allowed to mention on MN.

Nobody wakes up and decide to be trans, who would ever choose to have a life of presecution that can end with them being beaten or even murdered at some point?

People who think someone "chooses" to be trans for attention literally don't understand how being trans is, because vast majority of trans don't want attention to themselves, they get attention because majority goes through transition late in life and inevitably can't pass as the opposite sex most of the time, which gives them a life of persecution, humilation, and suffering.

People don't choose to be trans because it's somehow "fun" or "trendy", they're like that due to gender dysphoria and some other things.

Just like with gays many in the past tried to "cure" them and make them live as their birth sex, didn't work just like it didn't work with curing gays, so the approach was changed

Trouble is, if you can ID as non-binary, there must be a binary to be 'non'. So sex is binary, yes?

Sex is binary, gender isn't, been many years that more and more people who work with biology, psychology and so on push the concept that sex and gender are two separate things.

There's literally studies about it, the idea of gender being separate from sex isn't even new, it existed for decades now, only thing that happened is that understanding of it advanced and changed.

OP is an employee, not a private individual, so that makes it her business.

As far as i can see this hasn't presented a problem so far.
If OP had come on to say a disabled customer had been prevented from using the toilet because this person was in there then maybe that would be fair enough. But that doesn't appear to be the case.

Baby change facilities need to be in male, female and disabled toilets. There are disabled parents and children with disabilities who need the extra space to be changed.

Perhaps that’s because the need for a toilet adapted to someone with a disability takes precedence over non binary woo.

Ah stop clutching at straws!

Nobody wakes up and decide to be trans, who would ever choose to have a life of presecution that can end with them being beaten or even murdered at some point?

It will come as a great relief to you to know that trans people are the safest demographic worldwide when it comes to being murdered. There are more trans murderers than there are trans people murdered.