Non-binary colleague using disabled toilet

@WarmingClothesontheRadiator
Trans groups like Mermaids and LGBTYouth sterilise and mutilate gay children.

Try looking up Stonewall’s definition of ‘gay’

Taking into account you're very clearly using the word "mutilate" to refer to trans, I know for a fact to expect bullshit from you.

@verysmellyjelly
Why are you derailing? This thread is about disabled toilets, it's not a general discussion of trans issues. There is FWR for that.

If you really want to talk about derailing, you probably should first call out on people who bring the issue about non binary being performative and how their feelings aren't valid, I was simply making a point that what some people says about them is exactly what many think about gays.

No, they don’t. This person will know their biological sex and should use toilets that correspond with that (unless they are actually disabled).

It’s not on for a non-disabled person to use a disabled toilet. It’s selfish and thoughtless. As this colleague is non-binary, they could use both toilets (male and female).

For disabled people, it’s not a case of ‘not feeling comfortable’ in the other toilets, it’s because we have a disability and additional needs - ie a necessity not a preference.

@BreatheAndFocus Well said! So many abled people on this thread who are trying to give our rights away.

@Tsama Nope, I'm calling out you. Doesn't mean others aren't doing it too. You can and should stop.

I'm so sick of able bodied people abusing disabled areas ie, disabled toilets, parking.
Unless you have been in a situation with a person that is not able bodied you don't understand the need for the extra space.
Having to wait, while desperate or drive about a car park until the "able" person is selfishly finished.

I'm shocked and angry with the amount of ableism on this thread. So many people saying that it's no big deal if able bodied people use disabled toilets or even admitting to doing so themselves.

Many people have pointed out that disabled people might have a need for a physically accessible space or might have difficulty in waiting to use the toilet.

But there are so many I'm alright Jack types who don't give a fuck.

Of course, a disabled person will have to wait if there's already another disabled person using the disabled toilet but that doesn't make it ok for able bodied people to use them.

The amount of selfishness and entitlement is appalling.

There’s no indication it’s a problem at all for this colleague to use the loo. If they are having sufficiently frequent loo trips that it’s preventing customers being able to use the loo then that suggests they have a disability themselves in any event. If they’re using it at the normal rate then I don’t see how it’s causing an issue, but if so OP’s employer can address it by removing the gendered signs from the individual loos.

I have an invisible disability so I know very well how important disabled loos are, and I just don’t see how this is an issue at all.

Disabled people have to plan their journey when they go out and they need to know where all accessible toilets are for them to use. I think they are being selfish and greedy to use the disabled toilet. The whole thing smacks of psychological issues but they want to say no this is normal and you are transphobic.

Not really - they are one person in the company and more often will probably be in and out quickly...quicker than a lot of disabled people would be. Not a battle I'd be picking.

Interesting how you don't call out the other person too, you need two to dance tango after all, must be because they agree with your position, after all you could have easily told them to stop reply me too.

@Tsama My position is straightforwardly that the colleague shouldn't be using the disabled toilet. I'm not interested in the wider row you're trying to have on this thread.

@HocusFord Just because it doesn't affect your disability doesn't mean you can speak for all disabled people and give your rights away. The colleague is not disabled and so shouldn't be using that specific toilet.

Why is that so hard to understand?

Why do poster keep saying ‘one person’ when they are talking about anybody using the disabled toilet. That isn’t one person, that could well be a constant stream of people who are all perfectly capable of using the other toilets but just prefer to use the only toilet disabled customers and employees can access.

@WarmingClothesontheRadiator I think it's because they want to present our concerns as trivial (omg those selfish disabled people who won't share with even ONE person!), when you are absolutely correct it is the general phenomenon of the abled using that loo with impunity whether because of gender, convenience or another reason that is the problem.

I would rather they use a disabled toilet than a single sex toilet if they are undecided what they are.
That way, they can't offend anyone, or you'd like to think they wouldn't 🤔

So a disabled person isn't "anyone" to you?

@verysmellyjelly
Well fortunately you're not the only person on this discussion, so your interest is secondary as anyone else with interest is free to reply or not to me.

@WarmingClothesontheRadiator
Why do poster keep saying ‘one person’ when they are talking about anybody using the disabled toilet. That isn’t one person, that could well be a constant stream of people who are all perfectly capable of using the other toilets but just prefer to use the only toilet disabled customers and employees can access.

@verysmellyjelly
I think it's because they want to present our concerns as trivial (omg those selfish disabled people who won't share with even ONE person!), when you are absolutely correct it is the general phenomenon of the abled using that loo with impunity whether because of gender, convenience or another reason that is the problem.

The reason is because it is one person, OP only focus completely on this single person, most likely because they're non binary really, OP said pretty clearly the bathroom is also for elderly and baby changing room, if she's really worried about disabled people why at no point she mentioned the disabled bathroom shouldn't be used as a baby changing room either?

This was never about the bathroom and it's more than obvious.

Disabled toilets are still just toilets. I don’t see the issue. Maybe they’re trying to prevent making people feel uncomfortable by not using the male or female. Really don’t see this as an issue or what difference it makes to you.

A disabled toilet is usually one toilet behind a locked door, not multiple cubicles.
I'm not sure how one person in a room by themselves can offend "anyone".

Yes. It’s about one person in one place. Everything else is just projection and choosing to be offended.

The OP was clearly just looking to start a bun fight and then piss off.

We are not talking about ‘offense’ we are talking about pain, humiliation, safety, hygiene, the ability to leave the home for disabled people.

There is not a choice to decide if you are male or female. ‘Nonbinary’ is nothing to do with sex. Toilets are.

@Tsama you made an assumption about which side of the debate I agreed with. I have every right to clarify that I'm not getting involved. Obviously it's interesting to some, and as I've pointed out, FWR exists. But funny how we can't have even one thread without people like you derailing,..

If the baby changing facility is in the same loo then there's no choice for parents. It's not a set up I favour (there should be baby change in both male and female toilets) but I can't blame people for using it! And neither can OP.

There are no terms or conditions applicable to owning or using a radar key, but there are for using an accessible toilet.

We have a legal right to disabled toilets and they are key to our ability to access the world. It clearly means nothing to you when others disrupt this, but we are certainly not just "choosing" to be offended. Others are choosing to make our already difficult lives even harder.