Non-binary colleague using disabled toilet

I think you need to stop watching people go to the toilet.

just let people use toilets. if there was a genuine issue specific to this situation that arose this could have been brought up then, but this was purely based on hypotheticals (and potentially transphobia). take this an an opportunity to become more empathetic and learn about different identities :) we all have a lot to learn here it would seem

What has their sexuality to do with this?

Petty of you.

This person has a sex ...

I know - I'm usually a bit of an oddity though so it's funny to be part of a club that I'm pretty sure includes 99% of the population. And just don't realise they're part of it!

Had to explain what gender critical meant to a couple of friends recently and their expressions were like "errr....well, yeah? Don't most people know that?"

They can use the one for their sex so there is somewhere for them to go.

Exactly. The only people who are enforcing rigid gender expectations are those who want to be defined by not fitting them or fitting the opposite of sexist stereotypes.

A non-binary person says “I don’t want to be defined by either the masculine or feminine roles of our society.”

The world says “no one is saying you have to be🤨, the rest of us aren’t.”

The non-binary person says “But, but, but…I need those stereotypes so I can’t not be them and be different.”

It’s regressive nonsense.

@IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle I literally used Crohn's as the example in my reply to you??? I have multiple good friends with the condition (some with stomas and some without) who need to use the disabled toilet. Also have friends with UC. I myself have intestinal failure among my other conditions which can cause some overlapping issues and has some similar treatment pathways. So believe me, I am very far from unfamiliar with this category.

I think the issue is that I view all chronic illness as falling within the general spectrum of "valid disability" and you see "disability" as a negative label which you want to reject. I don't think anything I said merited your extreme rudeness, frankly. We just have very different takes on disability as a concept.

As much as I used to fully support people with gender dysphoria using the toilet they felt most comfortable with, the absolute piss taking from some men now that they can just walk in has made me seriously resent this expectation that we’ll now take in all of the perverts, flashers, camera hiders and gynophiles without questions.

For that reason, I’d be glad to have someone genuinely minding their own business by using a unisex space and quietly getting on with things. So yes, I’d support your colleague.

Better than seeing a man’s arse while he stands up pissing with the cubicle door open which is what I saw in the ladies’ a few months ago.

I am not registered disabled but have a very real, physical reason for why an accessible toilet is more suitable for me. I don’t owe you an explanation, and thankfully, you’re not the keeper of all the accessible toilets in the land. Teehee

WarmingClothesontheRadiator · Today 12:07

MrsSkylerWhite · Today 11:59
Many people have hidden disabilities that they would rather not disclose to all and sundry. Your colleague may be one of them. Would you be so outraged if this person was heterosexual?

What has their sexuality to do with this?

Absolutely nothing. OP highlighted it in her first post, describing her colleague as non binary.
Best ask OP what sexuality has to do with it.

This toilet is for disabled people. It's simple.

I’ve just addressed this.
As I’ve said, I’m not taking a stance nor claiming to have all the answers. I just think it’s a complex and interesting issue and it’s a shame to try and sum it up in a sentence or two, or close off discussion by saying that gender identity is nonsense or purely an artificial construct.

Actually I think I’ve said all I want to now!

Sorry, highlighted wrong bit. You get the gist.

There is no such thing as being "registered disabled"

Disabled toilets are supposed to be for people who are physically disabled, aren’t they? Or who have medical conditions that mean they can’t wait?

@DaphneduMaureen If you had a disability you would know there is no such thing as "registered disabled". That is wildly offensive and archaic terminology. Your ableism is peeking out again!

Yes. Thank you.

I agree with the OP - people with mobility impairments and other disabilities need specially adapted toilets - they're adapted for a reason.

I have an autoimmune condition and sometimes need to use a walking stick, and need to use a grip bar to liftt myself off the seat, so I need the disabled toilet when I have a flare.

The disabled toilet where I work changed to 'universal access' this year, so anyone who doesn't want to use the womens or mens toilets can use it. I think it's wrong that this was done, it downgrades the needs of disabled people for an accessible toilet, equating them to people who don't want to use the gender based loos, but don't need the modifications.

In an ideal world there would simply be more toilets for different types of user, but for now, disabled people are suffering from loss of facilities - how is this fair?

Identifying as non binary does not make a person disabled, therefore they should not use disabled toilets. It's really that simple!

I'm not going to apoligise to some one who thinks I'm only permitted to use the accessible toilet if I say I'm disabled.

Oh and your attitude and the attitudes of other posters banging on about "disabled" toilets only being for the disabled isn't at all helpful for people like me who have no obvious physical issues.

It's also the customer toilet. This colleague is not disabled. Disabled toilets are for disabled people, it's really quite simple.

You've no idea whether it's fleeting or not or how it affects the person concerned.

My Father had an anxiety issue that meant under some circumstances he could not release his bladder sphincter. He couldn't use a urinal in the gents and struggled in the cubicles. Nothing to do with sex/gender.

A Radar key and a place to himself would have helped.

@IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle Believe me, based on your conduct I was expecting no apology. It must be terrifying to have to speak to a disgusting Disabled Person! Don't worry, you won't catch anything from me over the internet.