To think 25 is too late to find the LOML

It seems like even the least desirable men in society still discard me after a few weeks. I mean men who are unemployed, ugly, hate children, short, mean, minimum wage, addicted to porn and or video games, abusive, broke etc.

YABU to lump "short" in with those. "Minimum wage" too.

What makes you so great?

Pretty sure this twatty OP isn't real

@BetterOffDeadWillNeverFindAMan

You're having a pity party because bloke from years ago is easy to see in an entirely positive, wistful light when new (and very young ) bloke has dumped you. Lots of us have done this so no judgement, but please do try to see that you are very young yourself, at the start of your life and there are probably a few more frogs waiting to be kissed before you meet someone who wants what you do. It might not help you much, but better to focus on this truth (for I know it to be truth) than lambast a load of people online.

Washed up at 25? No no that’s just not true. You’ve got to keep trucking!

Blimey, your ‘high value’ is my absolute lowest bar! I suggest therapy, you seem to have very low self esteem. I met the loml at 26, married at 28, still together 26 years later. You may well find that once you value yourself, others will also value you!

If this is a serious post then you need serious counselling to work on your self esteem. Your user name is very concerning.
I can't tell if it's a piss take because no one in their right mind would think 25 is too old to find a man. Most ppl I know didn't meet their significant other until at least then.
And why define yourself by a man anyway. Dont waste your 20s wishing for what you don't have, work on yourself and appreciate what you have. Youth, and a world of possibility - whether that be with a man or not.

And ppl aren't defined by being high value. You really need to do some work on yourself to understand why a lack of man is defining you. I mean even if you were older I'd still be a bit concerned but at 25, you are hardly left on the shelf ffs.

Exactly what I thought. I would be very surprised if this was a 25 year old woman

Agree you sound like you have low self esteem. Not only have you convinced yourself someone else's husband is the love of your life, you've also convinced yourself it's entirely normal and understandable to leave the 'love of your life' for money.

Why didn't you join him? Why did he marry someone else?
If this isn't a troll post, it sounds like limerance could be at play. Which actually wouldn't be surprising among a self-confessed 'femcel'.

You really need to work on your self esteem.

That's self as in distinct from a relationship, how men/others may or may not view you.

All people are valuable, there's no one "attractive" combination of traits, we all like different things.

What makes you happy/smile? Do more of it.
Which people in your life treat you the best? Spend more time with them.
What makes you feel bad? Don't do it or remove it from your life.

Every single day, take a piece of paper and write down 3 things you love about yourself

He's living on the other side of the world, married to another woman. I'm pretty sure he's not in love with you. That's not harsh, it's just common sense.

My DH was intending to go back to Norway around the time we met. He didn't. He stayed and married me, had kids with me, and now we're going together in a couple of years as my career will be where it needs to be.

If he loved you then, he'd have stayed. If he loved you now, he'd not be married to someone else.

I should hope he doesn’t love you given that he’s married to someone else!

Standards means not accepting being treated badly, eg cheated on, being controlled, disrespected etc etc.

Having standards doesn’t mean men have to earn loads and be good looking (and tall, apparently), ffs.

Give me a short, balding man who earns just enough to get by but values me and treats me like an equal over a smooth-talking, Oxbridge-educated 6’2 high earner who has no respect for me or our relationship any day.

Same thing applies. If he loved you and you couldn't go, he'd have stayed or changed his plans.

My now DH had the opportunity to move to Australia for work, about 6 months into our relationship. He would have been on 5x what he was here and he loves the sun.

There is no way he would have gone and left me behind. The money meant nothing compared to me. He won't even go and visit relatives there because he knows I hate flying and doesn't want to leave me behind. I've asked him to go, told him to go, but nope. And that's 15 years in!

If he loved you, he wouldn't have gone. Money meant more to him. He's met the love of his life there.

I met Dh when I was 28 and then I moved half way around the world probably the same distance as Australia because I had to return to my home country due to visa issues. It didn’t stop us having a relationship and we got married 2 years later and I could move to live with him. That was 15 years ago.

What will scare (decent) men off though is being broken inside. You need to have worked on yourself. Be solid in who you are. Love the life you are living. Be passionate about things, etc to attract the right sort of person. I wasn’t that at 21 or 25. It took time for me to figure myself out and start putting the right beacon out to the universe to not attract the wankers.

Honestly, I’d get some therapy and I’d start planning the sort of exciting life you want to live. I only met Dh because I binned a job that was making me miserable and took off travelling and to take a job overseas on a whim.

£30k is not a poverty wage in your 20s, which is presumably the age he left? He left because he wanted the money more than you, not because staying with you meant a life of poverty.

My DH would have never left me for a job offer. You are arguing automatically and blindly because the strength in your own belief is prohibiting you from listening to anyone.

Once you get over that hump, you can hopefully adjust your attitude about relationships and build a healthier way of looking for a partner.

Definitely comes across as a nasty trait to have.

£30k isn't a poverty wage.

I think you may judge others too harshly.

You get less attractive by the post.

You don't have standards you have a bad spoilt attitude... its completely different.

Having standards is saying 'I'm not going to wear those cheap bad shoes anymore because they hurt and I'm getting blisters' not 'I'm never wearing any shoes ever again unless they are cool in style Gucci brand ones and will sit and feel sorry for myself about my bare feet'.

Crocs or Slippers might not be pretty, cool or expensive but hey if you gave them a chance you could find you live a happy life with comfortable feet.

(yes in this episode of Incel TVs hit show 'humans as objects' men are shoes)

You could have got married /civil partner & joined him
You could have gotten a job in Oz.
Further education at Oz Uni?

Citizenship is very “cart before horse”… unless you have a criminal history or another reason you would be barred from Oz.

Well if you couldn't go (for whatever mysterious reason), why didn't he stay?

If he was such a "high value" man, surely his priorities would have been skewed towards making a go of it with the love of his life.

Plenty of posters here (including me) whose husbands stayed. Hmm, maybe DH putting his own career on a slower path so mine could climb before we move wasn't very high value of him. I'll have to ask him what he thinks about that.