To think 25 is too late to find the LOML

This might sound wanky, but make yourself the love of your life. Build a life that's not centred around finding a man to 'complete' you. Then you'll be picky about who you allow into your life. Focus on you.

(If you're too old at 25, I'm doomed at 39 😂)

Woah, there are worse men in the world than those are not tall or who are working but on minimum wage. I think you are projecting way too much - you want to find a perfect, handsome, wealthy, 6 foot something middle class type, then you are pretty much closing yourself off to anything of real value because you’re focused on pretty much just shallow stuff.

You’re really young too, no need to rush. I just commented on your other thread too and there seems like there’s a lot going on. Focus on yourself before you focus on this fantasy love life. I think you would benefit from some therapy.

Given all that you say in your first paragraph, you must have had at the most a late teen romance. Obsessing about this, and him, all that he has done (stalking?) since. You need to move on, like this ex boyfriend has.

You are self confessed, needy, fragile. Men don’t find these traits particularly attractive, certainly not in terms of sharing a life. Build your confidence, look at being more assertive. It’s not all about looks, what you own or earn. Comparing yourself with others is also deeply unattractive. People are individuals, look, think, live very different.

No expert, but I think you do need some proper therapy.

I hope you're not absorbing ideas from men online going on about women being 'past it' at certain age? That's just from gross middle aged predators trying to find a way to convince women two decades+ younger than them that she'd better settle for him before no man will look at her again.

I know plenty of people who have found their life partner late 30s and older.

I suggest prioritsing life for yourself, not a man. You have plenty of time to fine The One or to maybe even discover you don't need a 'One'.

@JumpstartMondays I think brain maturity is reached fully at 28, it’s why we are all more prone to be impulsive when younger though obviously we all have our innate personalities.

Are you fun at all op? I am good at making people laugh and feel comfortable, DH is the same as a person. We met aged 30 at work. DH read for his PhD at Cambridge, you wouldn’t know though as he doesn’t mention it. Your putting people in to league tables, it’s more about if your compatible, same values and interests, humour and all that.

The high worth is all very red pill and obnoxious really.

It sounds like you need therapy.

absolutely psychotically crazily madly in love

And yet he still pissed off to Australia for a job without a backwards glance. Not so great after all I’d say.

I'm unsure if you want a life long marriage and love, or simply an accessory to complete an unfulfilling lifestyle? You boast about your looks, your education, your job etc- but how are any of those things relevant to how well you care for another? What about years from now when one of you is needing round the clock care? Or when you have to navigate a shared grief while keeping your children going and maintaining a work life? What are you actually putting out there? Because none of the stuff you've mentioned makes me think of someone secure enough in themselves to be in a life long partnership for the long haul. It reads more like you want the status than the reality, which is possibly part of why your ex is now happily settled elsewhere. You have many years of learning ahead of you, it starts with a hard look at yourself.

Why on earth are you even entertaining these undesirable men in the first place, let alone letting them treat you badly?!

Anyway 25 is very young. Don't focus on getting a husband. The other man was not the LOYL as you were too young. Your teens and most of your twenties should be used to find your bridesmaids not your husband. Live your life well and someone will come along when you aren't reeking of desperation.

Sorry to be blunt but the person who is the love of your life, loves you enough to not move to Australia. So he wasn't the love of your life.

I actually wonder if under 25 is too young to statically find the love of your life as I was certainly too immature to really think about what I really wanted out of life, make decisions on things like having children (was sure I didn't want them) and who I was compatible with at that age, and a lot of friends were the same

It seems like even the least desirable men in society still discard me after a few weeks. I mean men who are unemployed, ugly, hate children, short, mean, minimum wage, addicted to porn and or video games, abusive, broke etc.

Why on earth are you giving these men the chance to discard you in the first place? You sound completely desperate. Maybe you should work on developing your character, skills, experiences and sense of humour so that you are a good catch for someone who you would actually want to have a relationship with. If you're that desperate you're getting discarded by porn addicts and abusers, or you're pining after some bloke who wasn't that interested in you, then you are not in a fit state to start a relationship with someone lovely. Work yourself out first and then try again.

I would suggest you see a doctor as your thoughts are not normal and you may need a little help

When you are back on your feet you will realise that you don't need a man , and the you will find love comes in unexpected packages

But until you master your depression you won't find anyone

Please post your score cards, how you score everyone in your life scores. We can see how you stack-up.

That would help us to help you.

p.s. give up thinking that you would be with the guy in Oz, it’s a fantasy.

You're very young. It's never to late. Enjoy your life. Why are you putting all your happiness and value on a relationship.

What's wrong with short men?

I think perhaps the language you use doesn't help. Placing a value on people? Also since when was 25 even old 😏

He left you for a job.

He's not the love of your life. You wouldn't still be together. He chose to leave. You need to let it go.

High value my arse. He was love bombing you.

Are you Andrea Tate?

OP your 25

focus on enjoying life and not finding a man. jeeeeeez

25? OP, you are past it.

A life with cats beckons.

If he really was ''the love of your life'', no way would he have fucked off to OZ and met another woman.

Love finds a way.

He'd have asked you to go with him, or stayed in Blighty.

I met my DH at 28, he was 30. We married the following year and are still together 29 years later. You still have plenty of time.

Sadly you felt he was the love of your life and he may have been perfect in many ways, but life gets in the way/maybe things weren't quite right for him in the relationship.

I understand some of the elements you don't like about least 'desirable men', but none of us are perfect and it sounds like you have high expectations and maybe some of them know you're not really into them as maybe they're shorter than your ideal, not obviously the most handsome person. It's not ideal, but someone has to do the minimum wage jobs and good on them as they're working.

Useful.

Thank you.

Explains a lot

There's the value that you think you bring to a man, and then there's what men actually look for. You can be the smartest Oxford professor out there, and have all the friends in the world, but that doesn't make an attractive wife.

To use your own words, "high value" attracts "high value."

Ego, self-esteem, pride, these are all great things, but every woman and their aunt is being told they're special, deserve the best, never settle, etc. You listed a loooong list of things he has to have to be worthy of you, but sadly, it goes both ways. I'd reevaluate what you bring to the men, because if you're only attracting low value men...

Goodness me OP, you need to relax a bit. Life really isn’t all about finding a “high value” bloke and you sound pretty immature to describe them in that way anyway.

Why don’t you focus on work, family and friendships and it’ll probably be good for you to get a couple of hobbies. Enjoy being in your 20’s and all the freedom that brings. In my experience guys are drawn to confident women who are smart, fun and don’t make the man the center of their universe.

I think you just proved your brain doesn't fully mature until your mid to late 20s OP.

Chill your boots, there is plenty of time to comply to society's expectations of you.

Focus on your career and financial independence in the meantime.