To think 25 is too late to find the LOML

one high value man in my entire life who became absolutely psychotically crazily madly in love with me

Men who are crazy mad in love don't move to Australia, forget about you, and marry someone else. You need to work on your hyperbole and get some decent therapy. Your values seem warped.

Hahaha no.

I felt the same as you. Broke up from a loving relationship at 25, it was hard as we wanted different things.

Met now husband at 29, moved in at 30, got engaged at 32, married at 32.

I wasn’t even looking or wanting a relationship.

Focus on enriching your life with the things you enjoy, and getting your life in order (if not already). It will happen when you least expect.

In your other active thread you are complaining about being dumped by a 21 year old bartender after you spent £2k to take him on holiday.

I think you need therapy.

The vast majority of people haven't found their life partner by 25. Many haven't even had their first serious relationship.

It sounds like you're still affected by your breakup.

Mate, the only person 'delighting in your misery' here is YOU. When did all this happen, if he's had time to move to Australia and get married 'a few years later'? You must have been barely out of university.

Do you honestly think that everyone you see over the age of 25 is somehow settling?

😐 love yourself, forget men!!

Tell me the story of how you met Mr High Value though

Do you have friends, a social life, a job you enjoy? Your 20’s are for fun not wallowing in pity over ‘high value’ men and lost love

This is an incredibly weird post.

Why are you using weird incel language?

25 is SO young. In career terms it can feel like you're behind at that age, but most people now don't settle down and get married till much older. Presumably you know this.

If he was "psychotically crazily madly in love" with you, but then he moved to Australia and didn't ask you to go with him? Ok.

Either way, he's moved on and he's happy. It's nothing to do with him now. Why are you even dating these other supposedly awful men? You're horrible about them. Really nasty. Would it kill you to just be single for a while till you learn to be happy with yourself and let this poisonous jealousy go?

I honestly cannot get over how peculiar this post is.

“…my neediness and fragility in relationships but it seems to always bubble to the surface despite how hard I try to mask it.”

Trust me, this is the big neon sign above your head that puts men off. All the other ‘friends, good job, Oxford’ bollocks means zip. Forget ‘high value’ judgemental crap too.

Take it from me (…unattractive, no friends, poor as shit, crap job and scumbag university educated) - I’ve known and been loved by lots of lovely gentle men and married a great one - the secret is to be yourself and be happy with yourself. Be kind to yourself and others. Nothing more attractive.

If he'd truly loved you, he'd not have moved away.

If you'd truly loved him, you'd have gone with him.

You're looking back with rose-tinted glasses and remembering a lie.

Shallow people almost always end up alone.

Your post is very shallow.

If you want it to change you have to change yourself and your view points... love is not a check list.

Blimey! Stop dating op and work on being happy with yourself

I'm glad you at least decided to come and seek out some sanity in this situation. 25 is not too old for anything! My biggest bit of advice though is to set your sights a bit higher. If you are at least moderately attractive and well educated, as you say, please stop even regarding all the Jeremy Kyle Show wannabe guests you're talking about. You can date at least a couple of rungs up the ladder in attractiveness. Only show interest in good looking men who float your boat and stop even thinking about what the knuckledraggers think!!

You are hitting a lot of talking points for incel/red pill men. This is interesting.

No, 25 is not too old for a anyone to find someone. Neither is 35, or 45, or 75.

I think you also need to step away from whatever forum or podcast is feeding you this "high value" BS.

Also there is no such thing as one magical person in the whole world. We have many matches and just happen to find one that sticks so we end up feeling like they are "it".

"High value man". "Femcel".

Andrew, are you okay?

I'm 25 and I've never had a relationship. I live at home, because I don't earn enough to rent or buy. I'm in a training role and I'll be closer to 27 by the time I qualify.

I feel like a failure all the time. I'm also overweight and ugly so it feels like I'm failing on all fronts

I thought the same.

I don’t know about you but it is laughable now (after meeting my husband) that I thought the ex I wanted to marry was marriage material 😂

Totally!!!

Don’t you find it odd that you haven’t listed one personality-based trait here, like being kind or funny? People don’t get married to degrees.

How shallow you sound.

I met my husband when I was nearly 30, we got married when I was 33 and had our first chimd
when I was 35 and second at 37. 25 is definitely not too late. If he didn’t stay in the U.K. for you and you didn’t move todays for him then he obviously wasn’t ‘the one’ xx

Troll post from a neckbeard.

Don't be ridiculous. you're only just an adult and you have many decades ahead of you. The people we think were "the love of my life" in our early 20s often turn out to be total losers a decade later if they still have a teenage mentality and you have managed to grow up. The fact that he moved to Australia and left you proves he wasn't actually right for you. People find love in their 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s because there's no such thing as a single soul-mate. You can certainly reduce the chances of finding someone by being obsessive though. Get out there and enjoy being 25 - you have so much power and beauty and potential right now, you don't even need a long term relationship just now but the right one will come along when you least expect it if you aren't focused on finding it.

Before you give your heart away to anyone new take time to properly work out if they are actually worthy of that love. Mumsnet is full of the stories of woe from those who didn't do this, or who let their hormone drive overrule the common sense that would have identified if someone was actually going to be a good partner long-term.