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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be devastated by breakup text

107 replies

BetterOffDeadWillNeverFindAMan · 25/09/2024 13:24

'Hi, I'm sorry but we must discuss this. I'll be direct, we can't continue this. I know this is disappointing and you may be disappointed in me for doing this now when you booked and paid for our holiday already, but I can't go forward with this. I have fallen in love with someone else unexpectedly. I'm happy to pay for the cost of the ticket, you need someone who can offer what you need.

This is me, not you. Don't think that. You're brilliant and I liked spending time together and chatting but we have little in common and don't need the same things. Please see my side of this and understand why I need to finish with you. I understand if you detest me for this, I would if I were you. I didn't intend for this. I hope you can move forward'

I booked a nearly £2,000 holiday for us, non refundable, including £700 for his ticket, 12 days ago.

How the HELL do you fall in love with someone else in 12 days? I also told him it wasn't refundable and that he wouldn't be able to change his mind, which he has now done anyway, because sod me, my feelings and my finances, I guess.

The holiday was planned for October. He's a nice guy but this is so...wormy. Why has he worded it like HR has just fired me!?

OP posts:
BrimfulofSasha · 25/09/2024 13:39

He isn’t a nice guy. Nice guys don’t do this.

first hunch is he has got back with an ex.
how long were you together?

he needs to refund you his share of the holiday! If he doesn’t it might be worth taking him to small claims court. For the sake of all women do not let him get away from paying

WickWood · 25/09/2024 13:42

How awful! How long had you been with him for? Definitely get him to pay for the holiday!

TheRavenSaid · 25/09/2024 13:43

I would reply saying he needs to pay for the full cost of the holiday as you booked it with his express intent to travel with you and now he has pulled out.

I checked the message in a chatgpt detector, and they were -probably human" with a 20% ish change of Chatgpt - So i would assume that he got CGPT to run it and then he edited it

Wanker

BetterOffDeadWillNeverFindAMan · 25/09/2024 13:44

WickWood · 25/09/2024 13:42

How awful! How long had you been with him for? Definitely get him to pay for the holiday!

Not very long in fairness, but he did agree to the holiday weeks before I booked it and he even booked time off work for it. I'm gutted.

I asked if it was his ex and he denied it. I asked if it was a colleague and he said yes and that she had just quit. I feel very insulted that he said this because it feels like he is trying to prevent me from showing up to his work and starting shit with this other girl (if she exists).

OP posts:
ButterCrackers · 25/09/2024 13:45

He needs to refund you the entire cost of the holiday. He could have told you before you paid for it all. If he refuses then take him to the small claims court.

Misfitkickedoutonthestreet · 25/09/2024 13:46

Is he the ‘high value’ 6 footer from your other post?!

BetterOffDeadWillNeverFindAMan · 25/09/2024 13:46

TheRavenSaid · 25/09/2024 13:43

I would reply saying he needs to pay for the full cost of the holiday as you booked it with his express intent to travel with you and now he has pulled out.

I checked the message in a chatgpt detector, and they were -probably human" with a 20% ish change of Chatgpt - So i would assume that he got CGPT to run it and then he edited it

Wanker

He is only 21 (I'm 25) and a bartender so I think it would be a little harsh to expect him to pay both our flights and probably not very realistic. I think it was decent of him to offer to pay but I'm still heartbroken. It feels like he has ripped my heart out of my chest and showed it to me with the same glee an infant shakes his toy rattle before his Mother.

OP posts:
BetterOffDeadWillNeverFindAMan · 25/09/2024 13:46

Misfitkickedoutonthestreet · 25/09/2024 13:46

Is he the ‘high value’ 6 footer from your other post?!

Certainly not. But he is 6'2.

OP posts:
MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 25/09/2024 13:48

BetterOffDeadWillNeverFindAMan · 25/09/2024 13:46

He is only 21 (I'm 25) and a bartender so I think it would be a little harsh to expect him to pay both our flights and probably not very realistic. I think it was decent of him to offer to pay but I'm still heartbroken. It feels like he has ripped my heart out of my chest and showed it to me with the same glee an infant shakes his toy rattle before his Mother.

Don't you think it's a bit harsh for you to be £1300 down because he cheated on you?

loropianalover · 25/09/2024 13:49

He is only 21 (I'm 25) and a bartender

oh OP… in the nicest way, seriously?! He’s not in love with anyone new. He doesn’t know the meaning of it, the meaning of relationships in general, and it seems like he doesn’t know the meaning of money either. Why the hell did you book a holiday with a 21 year old?!!

You just know he felt so deep and sincere writing that text. ‘I hope you can move forward’ lol.

Radiat · 25/09/2024 13:51

How long had you been together? It seems really harsh of him to do this, but tbh at 21 I wouldn’t hold it against him in the same way as if he was 10 years older. 21 year old guys are often still very emotionally immature.

Mostlyoblivious · 25/09/2024 13:53

Send him your bank details.

BetterOffDeadWillNeverFindAMan · 25/09/2024 13:54

MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 25/09/2024 13:48

Don't you think it's a bit harsh for you to be £1300 down because he cheated on you?

He didn't cheat on me, he decided to end our relationship before pursuing her. At least that's what he told me.

OP posts:
GalileoHumpkins · 25/09/2024 13:54

BetterOffDeadWillNeverFindAMan · 25/09/2024 13:46

He is only 21 (I'm 25) and a bartender so I think it would be a little harsh to expect him to pay both our flights and probably not very realistic. I think it was decent of him to offer to pay but I'm still heartbroken. It feels like he has ripped my heart out of my chest and showed it to me with the same glee an infant shakes his toy rattle before his Mother.

That's a little dramatic. How long were you seeing each other?

BetterOffDeadWillNeverFindAMan · 25/09/2024 13:55

GalileoHumpkins · 25/09/2024 13:54

That's a little dramatic. How long were you seeing each other?

Enough time to gain an attachment to him.

OP posts:
XelaM · 25/09/2024 13:56

Mostlyoblivious · 25/09/2024 13:53

Send him your bank details.

This.

Fedup369 · 25/09/2024 13:57

Your username is pretty concerning you may want to consider therapy. but aside from that just ask for half the holiday cost back and take your mum or a friend. Don't dwell on it, so you got dumped it sucks but you'll be fine

Alina3 · 25/09/2024 13:58

Don't massively see the issue tbh, I'd rather be broken up with via message to gather my thoughts and not let them see me upset.

He's offered to financially make it right, and been honest. Better than stringing you along.

Sugarplummama · 25/09/2024 14:01

I’m not sure if this post is entirely real but…

Are you off your rocker? Why on earth are you spending thousands on a holiday for a 21 year old that you haven’t been with for that long. I feel like no offence, this is a big life lesson for you.

Sugarplummama · 25/09/2024 14:01

Ask him to send the money to you now. Today. It wouldn’t surprise me if you never get it, tbh. Then block and move on!

MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 25/09/2024 14:02

BetterOffDeadWillNeverFindAMan · 25/09/2024 13:54

He didn't cheat on me, he decided to end our relationship before pursuing her. At least that's what he told me.

Uh huh.

Having looked at your other post... there is more to life than men. I think you need to get some perspective and life experience.

ForSereneBluePombear · 25/09/2024 14:03

His words were something along the lines of ‘I enjoyed chatting and spending time together’ - you mustn’t have been with him long at all for that sort of wording, and you made a huge mistake blowing that much money on someone you didn’t know for very long. Let him pay you his half and be done with it, lesson learnt. Find someone older too.

EcoChica1980 · 25/09/2024 14:03

I think you should ask him to pay his share of the holiday.

But he is allowed to leave the relationship if he wants, whether that's for someone else or not.

Bestyearever2024 · 25/09/2024 14:04

Sugarplummama · 25/09/2024 14:01

I’m not sure if this post is entirely real but…

Are you off your rocker? Why on earth are you spending thousands on a holiday for a 21 year old that you haven’t been with for that long. I feel like no offence, this is a big life lesson for you.

This ^

Absolutely crazy to pay for everything for a very young man who you hardly know

Well.....you know him now and you know that you dodged a bullet

Discombobulated2024 · 25/09/2024 14:04

The message was not written by a human. He can’t write a message in his own words. And he’s also far from ‘nice’. It’s a shock right now but after you’ve got the money back and had the holiday (with it without another friend) you’ll realise you had a lucky escape from him. You hadn’t been together long. It’s shit but not the end of the world.