My little one’s broken another child’s toy?

@Lilimama23 I understand that your twins need to get out and burn off a little energy. And that you need a break.
You saw them chasing the car. You had the opportunity to stop them right then and there.
You did not, and as a result, another child’s toy was broken.
Denying responsibility does not absolve you of that responsibility.
If you choose to visit with someone on the phone while your children are playing, that’s fine — you still have to monitor your children adequately enough so that they don’t harm themselves or other children or other children’s belongings.
You are not obligated to pay for the toy car — but it’s the decent and proper thing to do.

This can’t be real. You saw your ‘energetic’ twins chasing another child’s car, and thought, great, I’ll sit down and call my sister, because they’re giving me peace for once?

Parent your children!!

You can't just let them annoy other people by chasing their toys around. Tell them to stop or take them home. It's not up to other people to parent your children. No wonder the dad was pissed off with you.

I’m sorry you found it so stressful but your child broke it so you pay. It’s not up to you to decide whether it was too expensive to bring to the park. And I do understand you want some quiet time but you definitely needed to be actively supervising your twins rather than on the phone.

I'd have offered to pay half.

You were at fault for not supervising your kids properly but tbh the dad was stupid for not intervening and putting the toy away when it became apparent that it was causing problems with your two.

We often take a toy or two to the playground but they're always robust or low value and we don't take "honeypot" toys in the expectation that other parents should then have to work really hard to keep their kids away from the toy in question. That would be viewed as bad form in our local playground - parents would be mouthing "well what do you expect?" when kids were running after the car - where there is an expectation that everyone will coexist peacefully, parents won't make it harder for each other and kids will play communally to some degree. These are public play spaces and while of course kids shouldn't be forced to play together, parental behaviour should reflect that.

Both you and he were in the wrong imo.

@Goldbar why should the dad stop his sons from having fun with Their toys just as op wasn't looking after her own boisterous kids

Maybe they live in a flat /have no garden space to use their toy so the park is a great place

I'm afraid that parks aren't really a space where you can let your twins run around, as you have discovered.

Because there are other people there you do need to be keeping a very close eye on them as they might get involved in a row with another child at pretty much any moment.

I have twins (mine are much older) and I used to take them at 6am or very late to the park and only if no-one is there is it really safe to relax vigilance a bit.

If they are very difficult at home you might benefit from getting them into a playgroup or nursery or similar - they are of an age to really benefit from time out if the house. That if they are not already.

This.

I see it quite differently. Toys at the playground have a high risk of getting broken, Dad should not take them or accept the loss.He could easily have removed the toys if your children were getting too interested, and as they were his toys that was his responsibility. We don't take our remote control cars to the playground for exactly this reason. I wouldn't dream of taking money from a parent in that scenario even if offered.

You do need to mind the kids though because they could get hurt in a playground, it was a silly time for a phonecall but you've accepted that already. At 3, they should be starting nursery soon, which will surely help.

Whether you thought it was safe for them to chase the cars or not, can you imagine how annoying that would be for the people trying to play with their cars? You're unreasonable for that alone. I suspect a reverse but, if not, take your children home if you can't stop them interfering with other's things or have some sort of handle on their behaviour. And definitely put the phone away and supervise your children. It sounds like they need it.

I really hope this IS a reverse, can someone really be this deluded?

You know your children are total chaos, they're like that in a small space at home, so you take them to a secure place to hurtle around...

Once you spotted there was a toy you know they will chase and want to grab, play with etc, you should have been supervising very closely, not making a phone call.

You were not watching them properly, because if you had been you would not have been surprised by the other kids Dad appearing in front of you, you'd have seen the incident and seen him approach.

Then it seems you knew he wanted to speak to you but you still took your sweet time ending your call - how rude.

Were you REALLY baffled and confused that he wanted you to control your children, and make good what they'd damaged?

What other people choose to do with their property is their business and doesn't give you carte blanche to let your children trample all over it. Some remote control toys are much better in a bigger open space and are designed for that.

Trust me, it isn't your kids he was judging, it was your total lack of parenting that was the problem.

I get it, I have Twins but you are a parent and it is your job. I wouldn't take special toys to the park either BUT that is because of other children not being properly supervised which I am sorry, your boys were not. Maybe that lad has no where safe to drive his car?

Too late now but be more careful in future. Do you have someone who can give you a break? I didn't and it was bloody hard.

You don’t get to complain about being judged when you ignored your two children enough that they were able to break another child’s toy. Get off the phone and supervise them if you don’t want them to break stuff and make you feel judged.

Why did you leave your kids to chase another child's car? That was not ok, and was not a quiet moment to call your sister. YABU. Your poor parenting left to another child's toy being damaged.

Dad in inverted commas is unnecessary. You know your children are 'boisterous' (poorly behaved) and you chose to have a phone call rather than watch them both. They've damaged a toy, dad is understandably unimpressed, and you think it's unfair because you weren't supervising your children. I do think you take your chances when you bring a toy out in public to an extent, but you seem to be utterly playing the victim when you really should be watching your kids knowing they are three and can be a handful.

I don't understand why you thought it was ok for your children to be chasing the other kids remote control car. They're trying to play and your kids were ruining that for them. Even if they hadn't broken it they were interfering with the other kids play.

They're nearly 4, they can understand that they can't play with other people's toys.

You saw them being difficult for the other kid and their parent and chose to go sit down and have a chat and not watch them. You're literally every other parents worst nightmare when they take their own kids out.

I understand you felt you could be a bit less alert at the playground as I feel this way too at a certain playground we visit but I still have DD in my sigh at all times and I don't let her run too far from me. But with two kids running around you have to give them your full attention especially when there are other people around you. Anything can happen at any time. You should be having your phone convos when her kids are asleep.

I don't think the dad was really expecting you to pay for the damage; he was making a point about the consequences of not supervising your children properly. I agree with PP that bringing any toy to a public park risks damage or loss, it's the fact that you weren't really paying attention that's rightly annoyed him.

And this is exactly why I don’t take my nightmare twins (5 last week) to a park if I’m on my own - they don’t listen to me or do as they’re told most of the time so they don’t go. If they behave then they get to go and play.

Yikes.

Look, I sympathise with you having twins and not getting a moment to yourself to just switch off. That must be hard.

But you recognise that your children are a handful, you knew they were interested in the remote control car, you talk about how difficult it is to keep an eye on both of them at once, and yet you decided to not watch either of them but have a chat with your sister instead?

How does this story end? Did you pay for the broken car or not? Because if you didn't and that other family can't afford to replace it, there's a little kid out there whose precious Christmas present is ruined because you weren't watching your kids and you didn't do the right thing and pay for the damage.

I think it depends how it was broken. Tripped and accidentally fell on top of it while playing nicely. Nope you don’t pay it was an accident and these things happen with kids. Took it off its owner and threw it across the playground, yeah you should probably pay and have some words with your boy.

I think you were both unreasonable. You should have been watching your 3 year olds and intervening to direct them not to chase the car but equally a public children’s play area is a stupid place to choose for trying out a child’s new remote control car and if the dad had any sense he’d have moved to a different location or put it away and said his child could play later.
@Blondeshavemorefun why it’s a stupid place is because in general you teach small kids at public play areas about taking turns and sharing the equipment so bringing something kids will likely be super interested in is creating a situation where you know there is a risk it could be broken. Even if OP were with the kids the toy could easily still have been broken by one child as she was helping the other get on/off play equipment or comforting one after a bump etc. Also because something wizzing about at floor level where other kids will be playing isn’t the safest. I find it hard to believe there are not lots of spaces outside to play with a car that are not the fenced play area designed for young kids to run around in and share the equipment. If there really are not where OP lives and the child with the car lives somewhere with no space then it wasn’t the most sensible gift in the first place.
The OP should stick with the kids in public and the dad should find a more sensible location to play with the kids expensive new toy.

So only children who are lucky enough to live in a house with a garden should be allowed to have remote control cars now?

You don’t know if the toy was a Christmas present or not but that didn’t make it into inverted commas. You were simply being a bit dismissive of him, weren’t you?

Less talking, more parenting next time.