Four events this week at school during working hours…

I'm glad of that, however it is possible to work and be a mum. My work does not take me away from her.

I think @ThankYouNigel may have had a few glasses of vino and is having fun winding up those on here who work full time

There is a certain irony to people complaining that events are not outside of work hours, when they are complaining about people that would have do work outside of their work hours to do it.

Nope, just absolutely, passionately and unapologetically owning my life choices 😊

Or the alternative? Do school events but don't invite the parents in. Used to be normal when ironically there were more sahms

Everyone has different situation. Different starting points in life in terms of money, privilege etc. I have friends who earn less than me living in much bigger houses due to the fact they were given a large house deposit or didn’t pay off student loans, or didn’t accrue lots of debt as a student or were given a car. Their parents didn’t die young or divorce. It’s not all about saving money not buying Netflix.

Own your own life choices - and stop sniping at others. Generally people who are genuinely happy with their own choices don't feel the need to try and denigrate others 😊

If the parents weren't invited then the parents would moan about that.

Remember its an invite not a summons.

And this is exactly what my DD's first teacher expressed and why I felt like utter shit. Her piece de resistance was to suggest relatives attend. When she could hear my accent and knew I didn't live near family.

Teachers who expect women to SAH and make them feel like shit if they can't are misogynistic sex-traitors.

BTW my DD is phenominally happy and well adjusted years later. No thanks to the teacher in question. Who made her feel awful about herself too.

Fantastic.

@nigelyou go girl. You’re an example to us all.

#bemorenigel

Hold on! Turns out it’s me that’s had a couple of vinos.

We are now on the 3rd consequeutive school event that has been postponed and reschedules last minute - sports day, school fair and now parents evening. I had planned my work around all three. I give up!!

I’m so glad I am past this.

DDs primary frequently put in ‘open afternoons’ before any holiday. So you could come and see your child’s work from 1pm and take them home early. It was a way of getting rid of the kids early for half term.
But when you work it means another half day off for you, before a weeks holiday.
If you didn’t pick them up they would end up sat in the hall colouring or something supervised by TAs.
I knew a TA and they did it so teachers could be off site by 2pm - OFSTED a few years ago made a comment about the HT doing things like this and weak management. She would do anything to make the teachers happy (and leave stuff to the TAs).

It's fine to say that. But it's the same kids who never have anyone there.

If women don’t marry a man they can rely on that’s their problem. I trust and respect my husband.

There are so many reasons why two parents might work or a family may have one single parent trying to do it all. They are not ‘less than’ you because they can’t be at every fete, festival, assembly, sports event, open afternoon, prize giving etc. They may desperately want to be. They may well be working to provide the essentials for their children. They deserve our admiration and grace.
You are coming across as smug and sanctimonious. It’s not a great look.

Good luck with that darling /says it all -you love and respect him ,nothing about how he values you .

I can rely on my husband, I just choose to work.

Well said !!😀 had a husband I relied on till I couldn’t .Didnt make me a bad mother .Dressing up days consisted of whatever I could cobble together at 9pm .
Pre school care was a Plastic Tub:Pic Nic breakfast in the rain shelter at school while I set off for work .Screeched into the childminder after work attracting consistent fines .
Raised two outstanding human beings ,both Doctors .
Continually felt rubbish ,a failure ,wasn’t always there ….homework rushed ,sports days missed but showed that hard work counts !
proud Mum (at last )

Infants is very full on, for parents AND teachers. Most of our teachers get to school at around 7.30 and don’t leave till 5 or 5:30. It would be really unfair to expect them to put all those types of events on in the evening all the time. And these are small children who will be going to bed between 7 and 8pm anyway. Exactly when ARE those events supposed to take place?

it’s expected that schools do put them on, even though it takes away from the core function of school, which is to teach your children. There are only so many hours in the school day. There is preparation that needs to be done for those events, around normal lessons somehow. The site has to be cleaned up ready for next day, after the event finishes.

pick one a term to attend if you can. It’s not expected that you will be able to go to all of them. It doesn’t always have to be a parent who attends. We get grandparents, auntie and uncles, older siblings, even a neighbour attending in place of parents who can’t attend because of work.

Honestly, before I worked in an infant school, I had no idea what busy places they were and how much of their own time teachers and TAs have to give up.

There are many reasons why it makes sense for both parents to be working - including the fact that you're only one step away from no income through redundancy, sickness or bereavement. We all hope that it will never happen to us, but we all know at least one person who's been through it. Never a good idea to put yourself in that risky position, unless you habe no other option whatsoever.

I was a sahm, but still didn't get to go to "events" (other than sports day) because I had another child and no "village".

This fear mongering needs to stop. Plenty of people in single income families bounce back from these things. My own mother was a SAHM, widowed when we were under 5, eventually remarried SAHM again/WFH, divorced, bounced back to working mum very quickly. She’s incredibly resilient and now alone and working, but always preferred being a SAHM. Many Mums switch between the two over their lifetime.

You still haven’t answered how old your kids are @ThankYouNigel