The same thing happened for me, @SecurityLight . My son (autistic and with a host of mental health problems) killed himself, died in the night. I don't know what to say to you because still,six years later, the form of my grief is confusion and numbness.
In practical, procedural terms, it might be helpful if I said that the post mortem happened quite quickly but the inquest was delayed for literally years (and in any case brought no shift in the failure of psychological processing that I experience).
I don't really know what to say, I haven't even been able yet to look at all your posts. But I will read them, and perhaps I will be able to say something useful.
All I can think of to say now is that whatever confusion and disorientation you are feeling, whatever numbness and exhaustion replace the deeper feelings of grief that you may yearn for as an experience of your love for your lost boy, they are understandable and may take years to unpick. Or perhaps you are very different from me and are feeling the fullness of grief now. Whatever. Whatever. It is all so messy and you need to just go with the horribly broken flow.
My son has one sibling, a brother. I worry a lot about the effects of all this on him, but I can say that he appears to be thriving, centred, grounded, despite the ongoing sadness of bereavement that he deals with.