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Original poster

My boy died on Wednesday. He was 18. Is anyone around? I can’t sleep.

188 replies

SecurityLight · Yesterday 05:55

He was autistic and troubled, he lived in supported accommodation. They found him on Wednesday morning, sitting on his bedroom floor. No one knows exactly when he died or how. He was alive at 01:13. He was dead at 10:30.
He had 3 younger siblings - all young teens living at home with me. I have to stay strong for them and I don’t know how I’m going to do it.

OP posts:
Original poster
SecurityLight · Yesterday 06:41

@@Ihatelittlefriendsusan thank you. That gives me hope.

I used to read Milly Molly Mandy to my boy when he was little.

OP posts:
Original poster
SecurityLight · Yesterday 06:42

My partner will drive us mostly.

OP posts:
SquirrelGG · Yesterday 06:43

I am so very sorry, and am thinking of you and your family. Big hugs. 💐

Canwerecover · Yesterday 06:44

I am so sorry for your loss, the shock must be unbearable. You’ve had some great advice already, and I hope your partner is able to do the drive home today so you don’t have to. I also agree with not holding it in in front of your DC, but include lots of reassuring and nurturing hugs. For the coming days, break each day down into chunks to help you get through it, journal your feelings and emotions to help you. Make notes/lists to ease the overwhelm.

OneSparklyGoat · Yesterday 06:46

SecurityLight · Yesterday 06:42

My partner will drive us mostly.

I’m so glad for that.

I’m going to be away but will check back in here later.

I believe in God and I pray, so hope you don’t mind that I am going to pray for you and your family to have comfort and strength to bear you through today.

FIoorboard · Yesterday 06:48

I'm so sorry for your loss 💐

HappyKatieA · Yesterday 06:48

I am so sorry for your loss, this is so sad to read.

darkandgloomy · Yesterday 06:48

I am so sorry for your loss x

Original poster
SecurityLight · Yesterday 06:49

OneSparklyGoat · Yesterday 06:46

I’m so glad for that.

I’m going to be away but will check back in here later.

I believe in God and I pray, so hope you don’t mind that I am going to pray for you and your family to have comfort and strength to bear you through today.

Show quote history

Thank you. I don’t mind, I am grateful.

OP posts:
Missingducks · Yesterday 06:50

Holding you and your family in my thoughts today.

Original poster
SecurityLight · Yesterday 06:50

I know it’s what everyone goes through, but I keep thinking of all the things I should have done and now it’s too late. And wondering if I had done them if he’d still be here.

OP posts:
EnglishRain · Yesterday 06:51

I am so sorry, OP.

My brother died when he was 31 and it was very sudden. The shock is huge, it will affect you in different ways.

You can use any funeral director you want. My brother lived a few hours away and the coroner did everything there but he then was collected by a funeral director of our choosing closer to us. They drove the few hours there and back to collect him.

Original poster
SecurityLight · Yesterday 06:51

Thank you for all the kind words and I appreciate it so deeply that everyone has taken the time to reply and I am so grateful for all the thoughts and prayers.

OP posts:
Roseshavethorns · Yesterday 06:51

I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine your pain.
Once you have a funeral director they can liaise with the coroner for you. It may not take as long as you fear. I'm in Scotland so our process may be different but DH died suddenly at home and he was back with the funeral directors within 8 days.
Your children will all grieve in their own way. It's so hard.

Original poster
SecurityLight · Yesterday 06:52

@EnglishRain I’m so sorry you went through that.

Thank you, that is good to know

OP posts:
EnglishRain · Yesterday 06:52

SecurityLight · Yesterday 06:50

I know it’s what everyone goes through, but I keep thinking of all the things I should have done and now it’s too late. And wondering if I had done them if he’d still be here.

This is human nature. But remember the good things too.

I started a list on my phone of the good/funny things because I was worried I’d forget them. I wrote the upsetting things down too, it helped the thoughts to leave my head as they had somewhere else to go.

Asiana · Yesterday 06:52

My heart breaks for you. I am so sorry this happened. Rest his soul. Sending strength.

Original poster
SecurityLight · Yesterday 06:53

@Roseshavethorns I’m so sorry. That must have been awful for you

OP posts:
Dagbonunion · Yesterday 06:53

🫂 Can you reach out to your GP for some sleeping tablets, bereavement counselling for the whole family

FIoorboard · Yesterday 06:54

SecurityLight · Yesterday 06:42

My partner will drive us mostly.

I am sure he is a lovely man and will support you and your children. Also, his father and you also have a link in your son so I hope you can also comfort eachother x

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · Yesterday 06:55

I am so very sorry, OP. Flowers

Hollybollyhughes · Yesterday 06:59

Please don't feel guilty because you were on holiday and missed his call. Life can be incredibly hard and unfair. You must grieve and allow yourself time. Nothing like this makes sense but be kind to yourself too.
No words can express how terrible this is but call out to this community who can be incredibly supportive during this unimaginable loss. All my best wishes.

butterfly990 · Yesterday 06:59

There is a charity called "The Compassionate Friends" who support families who have lost a child.

Sorry for your loss.

needabitofguidance · Yesterday 07:02

OP that’s so awful, I know how this feels and I’m so sorry for your loss. I sent you a private message in case you wanted to talk through some of the questions you have about the coroner process and I’m happy to share my story so far.