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Original poster

My boy died on Wednesday. He was 18. Is anyone around? I can’t sleep.

188 replies

SecurityLight · Yesterday 05:55

He was autistic and troubled, he lived in supported accommodation. They found him on Wednesday morning, sitting on his bedroom floor. No one knows exactly when he died or how. He was alive at 01:13. He was dead at 10:30.
He had 3 younger siblings - all young teens living at home with me. I have to stay strong for them and I don’t know how I’m going to do it.

OP posts:
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OneSparklyGoat · Today 02:12

SecurityLight · Yesterday 17:23

The coroners assistant called him ‘your late son’
This feels all sorts of wrong.

You are going to encounter a great deal of unintentional ignorance like this. It doesn’t make it easier. But the immense kindness of others will hopefully help balance out the awkward and thoughtless comments.

SignsofLife · Yesterday 21:42

I'm so desperately sorry. How appallingly awful for you. Do you have a partner?

scarletthollie5 · Yesterday 21:11

I am so sorry for your loss . My daughter passed suddenly aged 26. The first year id a blur.

Coroners office are very helpful. The inquest was a long wait 10 months .

Take each day one at a time .

There is a very supportive Facebook group for Grieving mothers who support each other Who have all
lost a child or children

Take care

MagicThanks · Yesterday 18:48

I’m so so sorry - I can’t imagine a greater pain than losing a child. My love to you and everyone on this thread who has experienced this.

bittertwisted · Yesterday 18:45

BeKookyExpert · Yesterday 13:18

Hi OP I haven’t read the whole thread, but I lost my daughter last year (to suicide). There was an inquest 6 months later but we were still able to hold the funeral, they usually release them to the funeral home quite quickly if the cause of death seems clear. You can absolutely visit him in the mortuary. I’m so sorry. The world will be dimmed for you forever.

How heartbreaking, I’m so sorry, life is so very cruel.
your last sentence is so true. I always say when I had my boys my heart forever lives in them, the world being dimmed if they weren’t here is such a prophetic and powerful statement, and perfectly reflects the love you have for a child.

Error404FucksNotFound · Yesterday 17:32

I am so very sorry for your loss. Flowers

Mischance · Yesterday 17:31

Sending a handhold.

nocoolnamesleft · Yesterday 17:30

I am so very sorry for your loss. This is not in any way your fault. Parents don’t blame themselves because there is fault, but because they would have given anything and everything for this not to have happened. You are his mum, you have lived and cherished him his whole life, and I am sure he knew that. Thinking of you and your family.

Ipsevenenabibas · Yesterday 17:30

I am so, so, sorry.

Original poster
SecurityLight · Yesterday 17:23

The coroners assistant called him ‘your late son’
This feels all sorts of wrong.

OP posts:
Ihatelittlefriendsusan · Yesterday 17:16

SecurityLight · Yesterday 06:41

@@Ihatelittlefriendsusan thank you. That gives me hope.

I used to read Milly Molly Mandy to my boy when he was little.

Haha one of my favourites from my childhood. My dd didn't like it.

Take things 1 minute at a time. Your emotions are gonna be a whirlpool.

Feel free to dm me x

Partingofthewaves · Yesterday 17:11

I’m so sorry. Much strength to you and your family at this very difficult time.

Dontlletmedownbruce · Yesterday 17:05

So sorry OP and all the posters who have experienced this horror.

Please take any help offered OP. And remember you can keep posting here, we are here for you. Whether it's little memories of better days or complaints about when times were hard. There is no judgement here, you can post whatever you feel and think and hopefully it will lighten your load even just a tiny bit.

Original poster
SecurityLight · Yesterday 16:52

@@BeKookyExpert I’m so sorry 💔

OP posts:
Original poster
SecurityLight · Yesterday 16:51

@LoudPlumDog I’m so sorry 💔

OP posts:
Original poster
SecurityLight · Yesterday 16:45

@gamerchick I’m so sorry for your loss. 💔

I managed to get through to the public mortuary and he is already there, not in the hospital. PM will be next Thursday. I am waiting to hear whether I can visit him in the meantime.

OP posts:
Original poster
SecurityLight · Yesterday 16:42

@Epoisses I’m so sorry 💔

OP posts:
Original poster
SecurityLight · Yesterday 16:38

@MyThreeWords I’m so very sorry 💔

OP posts:
BeKookyExpert · Yesterday 13:18

Hi OP I haven’t read the whole thread, but I lost my daughter last year (to suicide). There was an inquest 6 months later but we were still able to hold the funeral, they usually release them to the funeral home quite quickly if the cause of death seems clear. You can absolutely visit him in the mortuary. I’m so sorry. The world will be dimmed for you forever.

BCBird · Yesterday 13:04

I am sending you my warmest wishes OP. Take any available support. I know you have to be strong for the others, but you have your own feelings to deal with. Hand hold

LoudPlumDog · Yesterday 12:58

SecurityLight · Yesterday 06:05

I think there will have to be a coroners report because no one knows why he died. So his body will be in a freezer for weeks and weeks.

I had the same. Three weeks. 16 months for a Coroners report.

LoudPlumDog · Yesterday 12:56

Oh lovely, I’m so so sorry. There are no words. My 21 year old daughter dropped dead 21 months ago. Everyday is hard. All I know is please be kind to yourself. Eat little and often if that’s all you can manage. I survived the first weeks on scrambled eggs and hot chocolate. Try to have a bath or shower each day. The water is therapeutic. PM me if you want to chat. You aren’t alone.

Silverbirchleaf · Yesterday 12:51

Sorry for your loss.

tsmainsqueeze · Yesterday 12:50

I am so very sorry .

gamerchick · Yesterday 12:46

SecurityLight · Yesterday 06:05

I think there will have to be a coroners report because no one knows why he died. So his body will be in a freezer for weeks and weeks.

I'm so sorry OP. One step in front of the other for the minute.

When my bairn died I was able to go and see her at the hospital where she was kept before the coroner took her to find out cause of death. That happened on the 6th day after death. You can go and see him. You'll need to ring for a time and day so they can get him ready.

The coroner's office are very good and they'll be able to help you in every practical way you'll need.

Take all the support offered. Flowers