The hidden meaning of emojis: a guide for parents

As a millennial, I fall into the generation that has experienced both analog and digital worlds. In my teenage years, I’d rush home from school just to message people I’d seen an hour before—asking “wuu2?”, logging in and out repeatedly so my crush would see I was online. I built Green Day themed websites on Piczo and spent way too many hours in Habbo Hotel rooms talking to strangers because, back then, it all felt harmless.

And as much as I thought I was tech-savvy and knew it all, I had no idea of the risks. I was bullied via MSN by school peers, and once found myself chatting online with a stranger twice my age. Looking back, I realise how vulnerable I was, and how ill-equipped we all were back then. Parental controls were basic, and online safety simply wasn’t part of everyday conversation.

Now, as an adult whose career depends on the online world, and as a mum of two, I’m quickly realising that I don’t always know what I’m looking at anymore.

Take emojis, for example. They seem simple on the surface, but in today’s teen culture, they’re a secret language all of their own. Seemingly innocent emojis might have a hidden meaning. For parents, understanding the meaning of emojis is no longer just about staying in the loop, it’s about keeping our kids safe, informed, and supported in a world that’s very different from the one we grew up in.

What are emojis?

Emojis are small digital icons used to express emotions, ideas, or actions in a visual way.

They’re commonly used in text messages, social media posts, and messenger apps to add tone or context that might be lost in plain text. From smiley faces 😊 to food items 🍕 and symbols like hearts ❤️ or flames 🔥, emojis help people communicate quickly and creatively.

But while some emoji meanings are harmless, others can signal more adult themes like sexting, drug use, or even peer pressure. So, with this emoji guide for parents, I’m going to walk you through what you should know so you can feel more confident navigating your child’s digital world.

Parents might find it hard to debunk what their kids really mean when using emojis

Emoji use in teen culture

Emojis are constantly evolving in meaning, especially among young people. Just as slang terms change with every generation, so too do emojis. What once meant one thing to millennials might mean something entirely different to Gen Z or Gen Alpha.  

“Teenagers love to use coded emojis as a way to express themselves privately, fit in with friends, or avoid direct scrutiny from adults”, explains Danny Zane, Therapist and Founder at North London Therapy. “It’s part of their digital culture, like slang or inside jokes. Some also use them to discuss sensitive topics (like relationships or mental health) without spelling things out, especially if they fear judgement or overreaction.”

Netflix’s recent Adolescence touched upon this evolving digital language, which caused much debate amongst our users on the Talk boards recently. 

“I think it was very clever how the emojis represented that kids are speaking in a whole different language from their parents”, shared EveryKneeShallBow, “and a massive theme of the programme was how difficult it is to keep lines of communication going, between parents and kids, between the public and police, and even between neighbours.” 

Take the thumbs up emoji, for example 👍. You might use it to mean ‘okay’ or ‘good job’, but many younger teens now interpret it as sarcastic, or even passive-aggressive. And as seen in Adolescence, even seemingly innocent emoji combinations can reveal complex social dynamics or hidden meanings. 

Popular emojis (and what they really mean)

Understandably, parents might find it hard to debunk what their kids really mean when using emojis.

So, to help, I’ve put together an emoji guide for parents that has some of the most common emojis tweens and teens currently use, and what they might be trying to say instead:

Violence

🔫 / 🔪 Weapon

🎼 Trap music (ie music that is influenced by the lifestyle of drug trafficking in ‘trap houses’)

💣 / 🏴 / ☠️ Crime

🐀 Snitch

😵 / ☠️ Murder

🚑 Threat

🔐 Locked up

Sexual references

🍆 / 🌭 Penis

🍑 Bum

🚛 “Dump truck,” which refers to a large and/or shapely bottom

🍍 Swinging

⏳ Used when someone has an “hourglass” body shape

🌮 or 😺 Vagina

🌽 Represents ‘porn’, especially on TikTok

💦 / 🌋 Orgasm

👅 / 🧠 Oral sex

🍩 Anal sex

🥵 Feeling hot or attracted

😈 Flirty or frisky mood

👉👌 / 🪛 Intercourse

👉 Fingering

🍒 Breasts or virginity

🍝 Noods” aka nude photos

👀 Looking at or sending nudes

Self-harm

🪒 / ✂️ / 🔪 / 🗡️ / Cutting

🩸 Hurting or bleeding

🔥 Burning

🌧️ Feeling low

🖤 Feeling emotionless or sad

🍽️ / ❌ Not eating

Drug references

🍃 / 🌿 / 🍁 / 🥦 Marijuana

🍄 Mushrooms

❄️ / ⛄️ / 🎱 Cocaine

💊 Pills (often prescription)

🔌 “Plug,” or drug dealer

📱/ 💷 can also mean drug dealer

😮‍💨 / 💨 Smoking or vaping

🐴 Ketamine

💉 Injecting drugs (eg heroin)

🐉 Also used for heroin

🍬 / 💊 MDMA

🎈 NO2 (nitrous oxide, aka laughing gas)

Emotional/behavioural

🤡 Feeling like a fool or being caught out

🥴 Used to express drunkenness, sexual arousal, or a grimace

🙃 Sarcastic or annoyed

👻 Ghosting someone (ignoring or cutting contact)

🥶 Often used in response to a snarky or ‘savage’ comment

🧢 Lying (aka “cap”)

👉👈 Shy or flirting

🧚‍♀️✨ Used sarcastically or to mock someone

😶‍🌫️ Feeling spaced out or anxious

🔥 Attractive or “on fire”

💯 Agreeing strongly or showing approval (although this might also mean something else, which I touch upon below)

👁️ 👄 👁️ This combination is a response that means, ‘it is what it is’

Extremism

👌 Far right

🦔 / ⚡ Neo-Nazi (use of 14/88 also means Neo-Nazi)

⚔️ / 🏴 IS extremism

Incel references

💊 Incel (aka the red pill, refers to the ‘manosphere’)

🍎 Identify as an incel (kidney beans are also used in this context)

💯 Incel who believes 80% of women are attracted to just 20% of men

👹 / 👺 / 👻 Anti-woman

Download our emoji guide for parents

Click here to save the Mumsnet guide to emojis for parents on your computer or phone.

How to use this emoji guide

Of course, it’s important to remember that emojis don’t exist in a vacuum. A single emoji will rarely tell the whole story, and context is everything.

IWantToBeACat

As Zane says: “Parents assuming every suspicious-looking emoji is a secret cry for help is wrong. Teens like to joke around, and emojis are often trending - like using for "lying". 

“Overreacting can make teenagers hide things more. Instead of freaking out over a single symbol, ask casually and pay attention to patterns. Not everything is a code; sometimes a banana is just a banana!” 

That’s why I recommend the following: 

• Check the context of the conversation, what was said before or after? 

• Talk to your child, and ask open-ended questions like “Hey, I noticed you used this emoji–what does it mean to you?” 

• Don’t panic, just because an emoji has a risqué meaning doesn’t mean your child is using it that way.

• Stay informed as online culture can move quickly, and the meanings of slang and emojis can change quickly. 

Stay calm and curious when talking to your child about their online world

Open conversations with your child about their emoji use

I get it, it’s tempting to scroll through your child’s phone looking for these symbols, but experts (even the police) say it’s better to build trust and open communication. 

Knowing what to look for gives you confidence, but connecting with your child is still the best tool in your parenting kit. 

“Stay calm and curious, not accusatory”, Zane advises. “Try something like, "Hey, I saw you using this emoji - what does it mean?" 

“Listen without interrupting, and avoid jumping to conclusions. If they brush it off, don’t push, but leave the door open: "If it ever means something serious, I’m here." Showing trust goes further than interrogation.”

So, if you’re concerned about something, ask them directly and without judgement. You could even share this guide with them to spark a conversation. The goal isn’t to ‘catch’ them out, but rather understand their world better and support them as they navigate it. 

Try to keep conversations going about digital boundaries, relationships, consent, and kindness. And reassure them that you’re always available to talk, emoji or no emoji.

What to do if you spot emojis being used and you’re concerned

“First, don’t panic - but also don’t ignore it”, says Zane. “Pick a quiet moment to say, "I noticed that you used this emoji, and I’m concerned. Can we talk about it?" If they deny it, gently mention that some people use it for risky stuff and you just want to check in. 

“If there’s real danger (like self-harm), involve a counsellor or doctor for support.”

On whether there are any warning signs in emoji use parents should look out for, Zane says: “Look for sudden shifts, like a lot of dark (e.g. skulls), violent (e.g. knives or other weapons), or depressing (e.g. sad faces) emojis, especially if you are noticing mood changes, isolation, or dropping grades. 

“Repeated use of known risky symbols (e.g., leaves for weed, or plasters for self-harm) might also be a red flag.

“Think of the context, though - some teens just like edgy humour.”

Zane continues: “Emojis alone aren’t usually a big deal. Focus more on their behaviour in real life. If they’re withdrawn, struggling in school, or acting recklessly whilst using concerning emojis, you might want to address the situation. Be approachable. But if they’re otherwise happy and social, their emoji slang is probably harmless.”

About the expert

• Danny Zane is a Therapist and Founder at North London Therapy, which is a collective of Talking Therapy Professionals in North London.

About the author

Rebecca Roberts is a writer, editor, and content marketing expert hailing from Leeds. Here at Mumsnet, she aims to bring parents content that’s designed to make life easier. As a mum herself, she knows all too well how difficult it can be to set boundaries with kids growing up in a digital age. 

Beyond her role as an editor here at Mumsnet, Rebecca can be found balancing life as a working mum of two toddlers and when she’s not at her desk, you’ll likely find her at a local playgroup, in a nearby coffee shop, or walking the dog.

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