My husband Adam, 34, and I have three children – Sarah (DD), six, Zakariyah (DS1), four, and Muhammad (DS2), 12 weeks.
I have a law degree and also studied Islamic Theology and Jurisprudence. Now I work from home, teaching students about the Muslim faith and supporting the local community.
Since becoming a mum, I’ve become increasingly interested in the rights of pregnant women. I had to fight to have a home birth and noticed that some women are made to think that certain birth choices are out of reach.
Now I work closely with midwives and doulas, serving not only my own ethnic minority community, but also other ethnic minority groups and non-ethnic minorities. It blends in with my other work and I can go from answering a question about what to do when a baby is born into Islam, to talking to a non-Muslim about gestational diabetes.
Due to lockdown, I can’t meet people in person so all my conversations are done by phone or online between feeding DS2. I'm glad to be continuing my work although it’s on a lesser scale due to the demands of having a newborn and homeschooling my older children.
I chose to breastfeed after reading an article on the benefits of breastfeeding during my first pregnancy. I don’t follow a routine or count feeds as I feed on demand. Every day varies, but DS2 likes a good feed in the morning followed by a long nap, which is when I can give attention to my older children. At times, it’s been a struggle to manage my time, and I'm waiting for sling libraries to open so I can find a baby carrier and be more hands-free.
Before having DS2, I worried about sleepless nights, but I’ve not felt the same level of tiredness as when my first two babies were born. In our current house, we have a garden – something we’ve not had before. Being able to spend time outside, enjoying fresh air and seeing nature rather than being stuck indoors means that I’m coping better with the demands of breastfeeding.
During my first two pregnancies, I struggled with all the changes to my body. Then, last year, I started listening to birth podcasts, which helped me see how much my body has endured to bring babies into this world and, this time around, I’ve been okay with it all.
My husband Adam, a supervisor for a retail store, has been working from home during lockdown, so he’s been able to help with the kids. As we couldn’t have visitors after the birth, I focused on healing by resting in my bedroom and so my postpartum recovery was better.
I do remember feeling alone when DS2 was two weeks old though as DH was so busy keeping the house going and homeschooling DCs, so we were barely together. We have a good routine now though and DS2 has slotted into our family and changed our lives for the better.
What’s the one thing that you think all feeding mums should know?
Breastfeeding may not be easy at the start or at six weeks or at four months when there’s a massive growth spurt or even at 10 months when your baby may need you every hour, but every baby is different.
If you’re struggling, remember you’re not alone and that other mothers are there with you. Breastfeeding support groups online such as threads on Mumsnet are amazing. I used them after having my first baby to just say ‘help!’ and ask questions. Then other mums would reply with reassurance and tips which would keep me going.
Is there a product you couldn’t live without?
I rarely use a bottle and avoid plastic, but found MAM’s Feel Good Glass Bottle really helpful when I needed it.
Disclaimer: This diary is an accurate representation of a week in the life of a real parent. All products linked to are products that have been used throughout the seven-day period. Mumsnet champions and supports breastfeeding and its benefits, but we also know that many mothers and parents on Mumsnet feed their babies in other ways, and we champion and support those parents too. Please see UNICEF and NHS guidelines on the benefits of breastfeeding, and NHS guidance on safe mixed feeding.
Day 1
4am: With a Zoom chat appointment booked in with a new mum in the morning, I’d hoped for a good sleep. Muhammad has other ideas though and wakes up needing a wash. Typical! Thankfully, Adam washes him and, to save myself having to get up at 6am to pray, I perform my first prayer (Fajr – the prayer before sunrise). Then we all go back to sleep.
7am: I give DS2 a feed and then we all have breakfast together.
10am: Another feed before my call. Chatting to the new mum on Zoom, we get onto the topic of face coverings and how our babies reacted when they saw us wearing face masks (they were fine).
11am: DS2 is hungry during the call so I have to pop off a few times. I can’t feed him when I’m talking to someone as he’d get too distracted.
3:30pm: DH calls his sister, who lives in a different part of the UK. She had a baby last year, but we've not been able to visit at all yet. I have to go off and feed DS2 mid-call.
5:30pm: It's Jumu'ah (Friday) and there’s a prayer before sunset called ‘Asr. My faith helps keep me grounded and stops me feeling overwhelmed. As a first time mum, with DD, I was so exhausted, I wasn’t practising my faith so much and I felt lost. I didn’t have a support network as we didn’t live near family. I'd sit breastfeeding DD alone for hours while DH was at work. Having grown up in a three generation household, I struggled to adapt to the quietness. When I started practising my faith properly again, I found more of a rhythm as I didn't feel like I was just trying to pass the time entertaining a baby but, instead, a schedule was set for me.
7pm: We eat dinner and, thankfully, DS2 doesn’t get hungry for milk as soon as I sit down to eat (which is what DD always did as a baby!). I feed DS2 afterwards.