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ROGD Parent Support

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iamright17 Sat 16-Nov-19 00:34:41

This is a new thread for parents who are experiencing the phenomenon of Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria in their tweens/ teens/ young adults.

Sadly we are being watched and our words taken out of context so please be careful what you say.

I want the UK and beyond to listen to parents. Even if it is deemed as anecdotal for now, it is important for someone to acknowledge our perspective. The trans narrative is trying to undermine our credibility.

OP’s posts: |
Catmaiden Sat 16-Nov-19 00:39:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JanesKettle Sat 16-Nov-19 00:50:06

Thank you iamright17

We are seeing what we see, and there is nothing wrong with describing and naming what we see.

iamright17 Sat 16-Nov-19 00:50:42

Mine is classed as an adult as in 18. There is little I can do too. However if we expose the phenomenon we just might get others who have younger kids to see this. We might also be able to have this discussed on mainstream and other parents might have a more informed perspective. Maybe when these discussions are mainstream our own kids will listen. They won’t listen to parents. Hopefully mainstream will give them the opportunity to reflect and be more critical. However, trans activist are shutting down debate because they know it doesn’t stand upto rigor. That’s why they say it’s not up for debate.

OP’s posts: |
iamright17 Sat 16-Nov-19 00:56:16

Maya‘s court case today highlighted what we see and know. She wanted to make sure we were not lying to kids who trust us to help them with safeguarding. As a parent, I have a duty to ensure my child knows the difference and does not compromise others even if this creates conflict.

OP’s posts: |
TinselAngel Sat 16-Nov-19 01:17:11

I am happy to advise about maintaining a support thread if anybody wants to get in touch thanks

JanesKettle Sat 16-Nov-19 01:31:47

Thanks Tinsel, would be good to draw from your experience. It feels good to have the support of the widows x

Gingerkittykat Sat 16-Nov-19 05:44:15

My daughter identified as non binary for a while, there were a group of around 5 of them in the college class who were either trans or non binary.

I don't think the college system of letting them self identify helped, since giving them ID cards as the opposite sex just fuelled it. Social contagion was definitely a huge part of what was going on.

Thankfully she grew out of it once she left that class, I know one other girl who identified as a boy also did but not about the rest. She still wears male clothes, still has short hair but happily identifies as a girl and lesbian.

It must be really worrying for the parents of kids who want to physically transition and not know what to do. I'm happy to listen and support you in any way I can.

Smallblanket Sat 16-Nov-19 07:37:01

Mum of a young adult born female who has been identifying as male for 3 years now. Is autistic and generally not thriving but hormones and surgery are the only options on the menu at the gender clinic.
Nothing I can do now but keep her close and give support no matter what happens.

It is impossible for me to voice my concerns publicly, just hoping that through sheer numbers, clinicians and the world at large begin to question why so many of these vulnerable kids are being cheerleaded to chemical and surgical alteration.

socialworker222 Sat 16-Nov-19 07:48:32

Hi. Just wanted to wish you luck with this thread. Transwidows EC saved me and I hope yours does the same. With you in solidarity flowers

Gingerkittykat Sat 16-Nov-19 08:23:27

Smallblanket, has your daughter started on hormone treatment yet?

I think the fact that the waiting lists are so long for many to be seen at gender clinics can give a chance to pause, but probably too late to stop it if she is already in the system.

Smallblanket Sat 16-Nov-19 09:21:09

She's just been referred to an endocrinologist but there's a long waiting list for that (thankfully). That's after a 2 year wait already.

iamright17 Sat 16-Nov-19 10:19:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OP’s posts: |
LangCleg Sat 16-Nov-19 10:24:41

Just to wish you all the best with this thread. I'll be lurking and reading and sending silent support. And if you get invaded, I'll be here in a shot.

EmpressLesbianInChair Sat 16-Nov-19 10:27:05

All the best from me too.

iamright17 Sat 16-Nov-19 10:40:29

Thanks all. Hope more parents who are experiencing Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria ROGD with their child will not feel alone.

OP’s posts: |
rodgmum Sat 16-Nov-19 10:42:01

I’m here too. 14 year old DD announced to school at the start of October that she was a boy (a year ago had announced she was asexual and non binary). Year Head made all the changes (told teachers to use he/him etc), then told her 17 year old brother but did not tell us. DS had to tell us. Have since had a full apology from the school as the YH had completely made up policy. He tried to push Mermaids onto me as well and was most unhappy to find out that we were not singing to the dictated by the school hymn sheet (he’d called me in after I spoke to him about the pronouns to make sure we were “singing from the same hymn sheet” while making it clear the school would not budge from their policy- all lies)

There’s lots of support on Twitter as well- private groups and parents posting anonymously. I’m @rodgmum if you want to follow me or see a bit more about what we are going through.

cwg1 Sat 16-Nov-19 13:23:45

Best wishes to you all flowers

Smallblanket Sat 16-Nov-19 13:48:40

iamright - no therapy offered at all, despite the service specification saying it should be provided.

BessyK Sat 16-Nov-19 14:03:05

You can find other parents in the same situation via Parents of ROGD kids:
It's based in the US but there's a UK and Europe group linked to it.

Qcng Sat 16-Nov-19 14:09:37

I'm not a ROGD parent, but a young relative of mine has 100% bought into the ideology, identifies as NB, wants surgery and hormones (to make "them" look more masculine) the whole lot. I'm forced to call them "them".

I really despair that these children are being sold basically a fashion trend that could cost them their future fertility and health, and uses up our already stretched health services.

This thread is a very good idea.

Qcng Sat 16-Nov-19 14:15:08

Sorry, should add, it came on completely out of the blue, after a period of what I think was bullying by some other girls in their class, suddenly they decided to join the rainbow crew having shown no signs, a couple of others at their school have "come out" and they are friends with them now. They seem happier which is great, but it's a shame they are asking for irreversible surgery just to fit in.

Smallblanket Sat 16-Nov-19 14:52:38

It's the irreversible interventions that I can't accept. I couldn't give a fig how my kid dresses or does, I'm ok with the different name and pronouns (although that was hard) , but surgical alterations and hormones for someone with significant MH issues who is autistic? And way below the emotional maturity of others the same age? I dare anyone to call me transphobic for not wanting that.

iamright17 Sat 16-Nov-19 14:56:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OP’s posts: |
SisterWendyBuckett Sat 16-Nov-19 15:21:50

Thank you for starting this support thread.

Parents are in such a difficult position - we love our children and want to do everything we can to keep them as safe as possible and prevent them cutting off from us. This is especially difficult once they get to 18.

Anything we say that is not what they want to hear is used against us and taken as evidence that we are unsupportive - and worse.

The current climate does not help and it makes parents who don't/can't affirm feel completely isolated and alone.

I was told by my young adult daughter that she doesn't want us to understand, just to accept.

I can agree to disagree, using that as a starting point for discussion and to hopefully find some common ground. But all my pleas for moving forward in this way have fallen on deaf ears.

I've come to the conclusion that the only way for my young adult daughter to transition medically is for her to cut the past dead. She has been helped to do this by several key individuals.

There is a pattern to ROGD - and it helps us to see how similar our stories are,
because in that way we can start joining up the dots.

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