*Well, he doesn’t think he has a say in what I go to, no. But he’d be so sad -truly upset- and act personally affronted. He’ll alternate the silent treatment with statements like ‘I just can’t believe you’d agree with someone so bigoted’ ‘I never thought you agreed with such offensive things’ ‘you’re not the person I thought you were’.
We’ve had to agree to not talk about it.*
Tbh, sounds like he's the bigot; and such emotional blackmail.....
Just go! You don't need to tell him if you don't want to.