'Our kids were raped by classmates. DfE won't listen'

[VickyEadie]

This is shocking. And demonstrates clearly that safeguarding is not deemed important.

www.tes.com/news/our-kids-were-raped-classmates-dfe-wont-listen

[tiredandweary]

Totally indefensible. And the bloody minimising of this with that irritating 'peer on peer abuse' phrase from the minister. We are talking about rape and sexual assaults on children and a collective failure to protect mainly girls.

Underneath the article is another shocking one about the sexual abuse of a 6 year old girl in a primary school playground.

[VickyEadie]

It puts everything else we're generally concerned about on here into context, though - doesn't it? If they care so little about little girls, they really don't give a flying fuck for grown woman.

I said over on an AIBU thread yesterday that I spent many hours of my professional life un training sessions, meetings etc on child protection and safeguarding (and rightly so) - it was in the wake of Soham and the phrase 'this must never happen again' was used repeatedly.

I had my cynical face on at the time - how feckin' right I was.

[Procrastinator1]

Safeguarding particularly for girls, it seems. Is this on other boards.

[VickyEadie]

Makes the Girl Guides Association's belief that there are no safeguarding issues about shoving boys in with girls look even more suspect, doesn't it?

[VickyEadie]

Procrastinator1

Will put it on AIBU now. Any others you'd suggest?

[Tanith]

This happened in Guildford last year. No prosecution and the girl had to return to school with her attacker:

www.getsurrey.co.uk/news/surrey-news/cps-decides-not-prosecute-teenage-15065480.amp

[GulagsMyArse]

Childcare, Education

[BeUpStanding]

That was a shocking read - a total systemic failure to protect children, especially girls.

[VickyEadie]

Done it.

[GulagsMyArse]

That is such an upsetting read. "safeguarding" is just some bollocks phrase that now means nothing. Along with words like girl and woman.

[ToeToToe]

Raped in year 2??

It is a shameful failure in safeguarding. Shocking. I really, really want to get my DD into an all-girls secondary school, but it's by no means guaranteed here - and she may well end up at the same mixed sex school as her older brother (and it has gender neutral toilets). This article has put chills through me.

I shouldn't have to move heaven and earth to try and get her into a girls school - ALL girls should be safe at school.

This is scandalous - after Saville, Rotherham, Soham and all the others - HOW is this still going on?

And getting even WORSE of course - when boys can just identify their way into girls spaces, and the girls are told they are bigots who need re-educating if they object.

[LangCleg]

It is a shameful failure in safeguarding

Yet another one. I despair.

And as for that phrase peer on peer assault - it makes my eyes bleed every time I read it.

[VickyEadie]

Over on the AIBU thread I started on this, someone's said to me

A lot of hyperbole from you OP.

because I gave the opinion that girls are more at risk than ever before.

I wonder why someone would say that on a thread about girls being raped?

[BlueBelle81]

This is awful.It's so telling that the poor little girl was told off by BOTH the teachers who witnessed her attacks.
Just goes to show how pernicious and prevalent the idea of "boys will be boys" is (not to mention victim blaming, making women and girls responsible for the behaviour of males, etc etc).
But Year 2 Jesus fucking Christ

[UpstartCrow]

Year 2 is age 6 to 7.

''the poor little girl was told off by BOTH the teachers who witnessed her attacks.''
They should be sacked and barred from working with children.

[theOtherPamAyres]

There's another way of looking at it.

"Our kids are rapists"

It isn't just about safeguarding girls from small boys who are below the age of criminal responsibility but still capable of penetration. Just as we have daughters who are 'victims', we have sons who are perpetrators.

Where did they learn to exert power over girls' bodies? Porn? Peers? Parents? Where?

[KittyKlawsReturns]

Reading this and the article below about the rapes of girls in a primary school absolutely tore my heart. This is an egregious failure on the part of the DfE and it shows the cavalier attitude towards safeguarding. THESE are the things which should be considered when implementing new policies in schools.

This section on the second article is so horrible I barely have words - only to say why was the girl blamed and not gently asked questions following this incident?

In the first incident, a staff member saw the children in the corner of the playground – but then proceeded to tell the girl off.

“She was told off for having her knickers and her tights down around by her knees with one of these boys behind her,” Anna said.

On a second occasion, another member of staff saw one of the boys with his head up her skirt. The assistant told off the girl for letting the boy stick his head up her skirt, and the boys were just told to “run away”. The girl was not talked to separately, asked what had happened or whether she was OK.

[KittyKlawsReturns]

I agree the otherPamAyres - I think this is a key question.

Where did they learn to exert power over girls' bodies? Porn? Peers? Parents? Where?

I have boys I already speak to them about boundaries (not just their own but those of others) and appropriate behaviour right down to the words they use with people or about others.

[arranfan]

Decade after decade - there has always been sexual assault, and rape in schools. I've mentioned previously that my local school was notorious for this - so much so that when inspectors visited it, they witnessed sexual activity taking place at the back of a classroom during a lesson. It was only when the inspectors witnessed it that it made the papers - not when parents reported what was happening to their girls.

We're getting no better at recognising it, never mind addressing it.

I'm seething.

[StitchingMoss]

Agree completely with the comment about "where did they learn to exert power over girls' bodies". I'm sick to the fucking back teeth of being told I'm being over-protective of my kids because I closely monitor what they are exposed to on screens. On MN and in RL I seem to be in an increasing minority in thinking that what children watch on screens directly impacts their behaviour and what they think is/isn't acceptable.

This would suggest otherwise.

I'm so angry about it - as a mum and a teacher - but I seem to be swimming against a very strong tide and feeling very much like King Cnut in the process .

[HollowTalk]

Honestly, I don't think I've been so shocked by anything in my life. What the hell is going on? How can boys not, at the very least, be excluded for behaving like this? How can police not get involved? And how can a bloody playground assistant blame a child for having a boy molest her?

[fascinated]

This is horrendous

I can’t help feeling that there is something not right with this notion of “consent”, in general. For adults too. It filters out into this idea that the teacher had that a six year old girls was “letting” the boy do things “to” her... it’s this idea that females are always the gatekeepers and if we don’t “stop” things happening then we are ok with them. This is just fundamentally at odds with the way I view sex and relationships. Girls and women shouldn’t just be seen to stand around waiting for things to happen “to” them... there needs to be active participation, joining in, enthusiasm... it grates on me. And it starts already in primary school - was everyone involved happy with what has happening (eg in games).

Of course in relation to sexual acts this is all academic at that age, since in law no “consent” can be given below a certain age anyway...not that you’d know it from the response from schools described in the article.

There needs to be a wholesale review of the way sex and consent are viewed- but with the way things are going I’m not sure it won’t happen without serous lobbying. But I certainly will be educating my children this way.

[fascinated]

Yyyy re screens

When I hear that 7 year olds are being allowed to play 18 rated games etc and unsupervised Internet use ... how can people be so naive, or so reckless as not to care what they might see and absorb

[Gileswithachainsaw]

I commented on your other thread vicky

I remain unsure about the screen thing tbh

Kids have grown up sneakily watching inaolropuate stuff for years. I was in primary watching horror films, kids had older siblings and none of us were wielding chainsaws and knives.

Whata changed most is attitudes towards behaviour.

I grew up in a village if you acted up scholl would tell your parents and neighbours would tell your parents you behaved or you'd get a spanking.

I'm not saying we should go back to the Spanking times but I do think expectations are so much lower than they used to be.

Times have changed from kids being expected to go home and make their siblings dinner to people calling social services because an 11 year old gets left home alome for 20 mins between school and parents getting home.

Our expectations of behaviour have got so much lower despite their bodies and brains still being the same as they ever were

We look to blame other instead if ourselves. We dig out some reason as to why sone modern day Invention has ruined our kids whilst restrictions on what kids can do and where they can go have increased so much.

.maybe it's face red things may be it hasn't but the real problem.remaims adults making excuses and being in.denial

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Changed things