'Our kids were raped by classmates. DfE won't listen'

[VickyEadie]

This is shocking. And demonstrates clearly that safeguarding is not deemed important.

www.tes.com/news/our-kids-were-raped-classmates-dfe-wont-listen

This has made me so sad. And terrified. DD is in Y1.

The reluctance to exclude the boys who sexually assault or rape girls at school shows just how much everything is viewed from the male point of view.

We need to stop falling into the trap of seeing it as an exclusion and instead frame the removal of boys who rape and sexually assault girls at schools as inclusion of girls. Thank you Posie for your magnificent rant

Those cases are horrendous. It made it all the more shocking to realise that there was action for a few weeks yet no meaningful improvement.

Considering all the articles at the time this young woman wrote that book, it is utterly depressing that obviously nothing changed (I was so naive I thought it would), except that some of those Banlieue gang rapers or their brothers may 10 years later have gone to Syria to fight for ISIS and get themselves some sex slaves in the process. Talk about escalation of mysogyny.

The boys might be ok 10 years later, but what about the girls? Bet they haven't just shrugged it off

"We need to stop falling into the trap of seeing it as an exclusion and instead frame the removal of boys who rape and sexually assault girls at schools as inclusion of girls. Thank you Posie for your magnificent rant"

Yes. I was shocked on the AIBU thread on this on how many posters kept bringing it back to "but you can't exclude, those poor boys were probably abused themselves..."

Poor boys my arse. I am so past caring about male sex offenders, regardless of their fucking age.

I was shocked on the AIBU thread on this on how many posters kept bringing it back to "but you can't exclude, those poor boys were probably abused themselves..."

Poor boys my arse. I am so past caring about male sex offenders, regardless of their fucking age.

THIS.

This notion that any and all sex offenders must have been abused themselves has been debunked in 'Predators' by Anna Salter.

Recommended reading.

Yes i would have thought more likely they've been watching porn.

I’ve heard through the grapevine, so might be entirely made up, that a Y10 is no longer at our High School due to sexual assaults on Y7s last year when he was in Y9. DS confirms he’s no longer in the school. The person telling me said he’d been sentence but again, I have no idea if any of it is true.

So, I have a very young Y7 girl. Reading this thread and hearing that last night has truly terrified me. How can I possibly protect her?

Anyone?

Scares the crap out of me too, Jilted - mine's in y8. So far I've checked on the toilet situation (single sex, phew), talked about biology, shown her the "tea and consent" video m.youtube.com/watch?v=oQbei5JGiT8# and I just keep reinforcing that her body is her own and I will back her to the hilt if she has to defend herself. It helps that we do martial arts as a family, I think - lots of older female role models that take no shit. I appreciate not everyone wants to do that though.

She tells me she does feel safe in school. I'm at a loss as to how to equip her further.

This - www.psychotherapy.com.au/fileadmin/site_files/pdfs/SharkCage.pdf - the "building a strong shark cage" metaphor, is a really useful model for young girls. It won't help against stranger attacks, but the techniques and red flags mentioned in it may help them develop a robust set of defences against grooming techniques and the sort of abusers who try to lure you into a relationship with them before attacking.

Bump.

Does anyone know whether the parents ever got a response from the DfE after all the publicity about this?

That article seems relevant so soooo many mn threads! Compulsory reading?

The parents have won compensation for this, but the DfE does not appeared to have admitted liability, for their failure in safeguarding the girl.

BBC News report link

I heard about this on the radio yesterday, and felt sad, frightened and angry. I feel desperately sad for the girl suffered this repeatedly for weeks before the abuse was brought to attention, as she will have great difficulty in recovering from this.

There may be awful things going on at home with the boys, but they have pretty much walked away from this with no consequences for their actions. I understand that they have now been removed from the school but what is going to happen to them as a way of preventing them from doing the same?

As parents we need to educate our sons from a young age, and take much more responsibility to change the next generation....its a massive task and l find it very difficult to talk openly with my 11 yr old son but l force myself....young boys have to have very strong messages about what is sexual behavior and how seriously it affects girls for all their lives, when often for boys its 'just a laugh'..
l also think its very important to empower girls to fight back and know how to be really vicious when being inappropriately touched/groped/assaulted....even a small girl can learn to inflict some pain to get away if she is taught to.....we must not sugar coat it.

This has obviously been covered up for a long time. I know of at least one situation and suspect a second from my own school days in the 90's.

When I was at primary school, there was a girl and boy 'caught' having 'sex' in the school library. She must have been 9 or 10 and he was probably 11. Not long afterwards the girl left the school. Reading this article has made me question the whole incident. The boy certainly stayed at our school and went to the same secondary school as the rest of us, whilst the girl disappeared from our social circles despite staying living in the same area. At Secondary school there was an incident in the toilets where a new year 7 child was assaulted by a boy several years above her, although that time it was investigated by the school both children remained there.

Why these boys were allowed to remain in the school and the girls were either removed or made to return to school with their attacker is beyond me.

If my daughter, or now my granddaughter, were to be abused like 'Bella' in the case where she won compensation, I would not want her to stay at the same school. The staff saw what was happening and chose to turn a blind eye, even telling her off for it. They amply demonstrated they were incapable of safeguarding, so she was better off elsewhere where I hope they do a proper job of caring for their charges.

Where's the AIBU thread? Could anyone link it in please?

I am so sick of hearing about poor violent boys being victims. Curiously enough, as we see here, girls and women are victims so many times, but do not themselves necessarily abuse.

This one PebbleDashed?

Cool thank you. I didn't check the dates, no wonder it didn't show up easily!