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When am i meant to sleep?? 2 week old and dh back to work. Ds wont lay down

(227 Posts)
Jellybabie3 Mon 23-Oct-17 10:51:00

So overnight DS wouldn't go down til 2. Woke at 4.30am for hour, then again at 8am. So i reckon by the time I've sorted myself out and done some expressing I've had maybe 2hours or so sleep. Hes been awake since only napping in me. if i put him down he wakes up. Dh went back to work today so i have no help and realistically i will be doing night shifts til the weekend. So when am i supposed to sleep?? I'm already worried!!

Jellybabie3 Mon 23-Oct-17 10:53:09

I take that back he will sleep in reclined bouncer but i obviously can't sleep when hes in that angry

butterfly1115 Mon 23-Oct-17 10:54:52

My DS used to be like that so in the end I laid down with him and we slept together. Co sleeping is t for everyone but without it I wouldn’t have slept for 6 months!

Lauratwelve Mon 23-Oct-17 10:55:33

I've heard good things from my friend about a Sleepyhead cot thing. I think you can get them from John lewis. 🌸🌸🌸

HTKB Mon 23-Oct-17 10:55:56

I co slept with both DSs til six months ish.

Lauratwelve Mon 23-Oct-17 10:56:38

KarateKitten Mon 23-Oct-17 10:57:34

I know it's all very confusing and stressful but first, why are you expressing? That in my experience really ruins your 'free time' with a newborn. It's time consuming, stressful and really only useful as a quick fix so you can escape (though not till your supply is established or otherwise you end up expressing and feeding and neither effectively). So I'm pretty anti expressing having seen myself how extra tying it is even compared to bf and a few friends who spent their whole first year as slaves to the bloody pump.

If you slept from 2-4.30 and then 5.30-8, that's pretty normal with a newborn to be honest and it will get much better soon. Just hang in there and try to doze other times of the day. Don't put yourself under too much pressure to sleep or be awake or do anything other than feed that baby for now.

If you can, learn to feed lying down and get into bed for feeds so you can both grab hour naps here and there, and at night, you don't have to really wake up between feeds if you cosleeping and do that.

Lelly0503 Mon 23-Oct-17 10:58:18

It’s so hard in the early weeks, I have a six 1/2week old and was ebf until about 2 weeks ago and I was the same as you but without the expressing. I did used to put him in his bouncer and I fell asleep but I’ve since read that’s not advised. What I told myself then and now is that they are too small for any kind of pattern and things do improve. We used a rolled up towel in a ‘U’ shape under the sheet in his next to be crib which helped him feel more secure, the bend of the ‘u’ was at his feet end and I pressed the sides against him, but the sides only came up to his shoulder so he couldn’t press his face against it. That did help him settle and give us an hour or two
Longer x

KarateKitten Mon 23-Oct-17 10:59:02

Oh, and sleep while he's in the bouncer. There's no real reason why not! Pull it beside the couch and lie down and nap.

Honestly, try not to take all the 'rules' too seriously.

GerrytheBerry Mon 23-Oct-17 11:01:11

If he's strapped in the bouncer chair reclined and safe I don't see why you can't have a nap at the same time. At the end of the day you need to be able to function.
I co slept with all of mine including my 5 month old at the moment even though I said this time I wouldn't, day two of no sleep she was in bed with me.
Also, white noise is a godsend.

JaniceBattersby Mon 23-Oct-17 11:06:33

I had to share a bed with all of my non-put-downables for the first few months —years—.

It’s not ideal, but the safest way is to keep loose bedding, pillows and duvets out of their way. Lie on your side, top off, with them in the crook or your arm and feed them lying down. Don’t bedshare if you smoke, drink, are on medication or are an incredibly heavy sleeper.

I also wouldn’t be expressing at that age.

Jellybabie3 Mon 23-Oct-17 11:10:08

Im expressing as he lost weight after birth and my milk was effected after traumatic birth. Im trying to build it up.

Thats normal sleep?? I can handle it for a day but not all week.

FATEdestiny Mon 23-Oct-17 11:43:19

Jellybabie3, take a moment and breathe. You sound very agitated.

Your baby is only 2 weeks old, just let go of all power and control over the situation and be with baby.

Spend all week in your bedroom in your pyjamas and don't feel bad about doing that. Eat instant food you can lay your hands on easily - cereal is great for that. Don't plan on doing anything or going anywhere. If people want to visit you, give them jobs - clean the kitchen, do the ironing, wash the pots, whatever.

Just go to bed with your baby.

Set up a sidecar cot if you haven't already. And think about your sleep over 24 hours. It's fine to get a couple of hours nap with baby in the day here did there.

Try a dummy
Try a swaddle

yikesanotherbooboo Mon 23-Oct-17 11:58:45

Try not to worry about amounts of sleep and just go along with it. It is really gruelling but it does get a bit better week on week. Poor you having to express, that’s not helpful. Congrats on your new baby ,

crazycatlady5 Mon 23-Oct-17 12:01:18

All above is great advice, a swaddle and dummy may work for your little one. It didn’t work for us so we coslept after 2 weeks of no sleep (hardly) and hallucinating. It really is fine if you look at how to do it safely. You will rest and your baby will cluster feed - don’t worry mama it’s really really tough and hard not to fall apart. But I promise it gets easier x

Jellybabie3 Mon 23-Oct-17 12:15:46

I really dont want to cosleep. I'm worried enough as it is.

crazycatlady5 Mon 23-Oct-17 12:19:05

That’s totally your decision - I think most people are worried at first when they cosleep but then actually relax into it. I decided to when I fell asleep upright while holding the baby on the sofa which terrified me.

HOWEVER - it is not for everyone. Try a combination of sleepyhead, dummy and swaddle x

Lovemusic33 Mon 23-Oct-17 12:20:07

I slept whilst my dd was in her chair, it was the only place she would sleep. Don't mean to scare you but my dd1 woke up every couple of hours until she was 18months and didn't sleep through until she started school grin. You have to do what suits you, sleep when you can, co sleep if you need too and try the things above.

FATEdestiny Mon 23-Oct-17 12:20:19

If your anxiety levels are such that your worrying is excessive, speak to your GP.

It's fine to not want to cosleep. A sidecar cot (normal cot with one side removed, very easy to do) is not cosleeping because baby is on a seperate mattress. But make a life much easier.

Dummy and swaddle too

Sparklyuggs Mon 23-Oct-17 12:27:18

I didn't bed share but had a next to me, which combined with a dummy and a swaddle worked well. I know it feels like it lasts forever but DS is 13 weeks old and sleeps for 3-5 hours between feeds at night so it really does get better. Other tip is to make sure that whatever surface you place the baby onto is warm (not hot) so the change in temperature doesn't disturb them.

Lallypopstick Mon 23-Oct-17 12:37:10

When your partner gets in from work, feed the baby and hand over to him then get your head down. I can fall sleep anywhere and quickly now.

In the very early days, my partner kept an eye on me when I was feeding as I would doze off. This meant I didn’t slump onto the baby or let him fall anywhere.

You’ll be surprised at how quickly you get used to disturbed sleep. It isn’t fun, but you adjust. I used to look at people with multiple kids in the first couple of weeks and think “well it must get better or else we’d all just have one kid.” But it is shit in the beginning. The days and nights are long. I wouldn’t go for a wee all day until my partner came in because I didn’t want to put the baby down and have him cry. Three months in, I know now he’d not have starved or been damaged by two minutes on his own.

I occasionally co-sleep now, bringing him into the bed at about 5-6 when he wants feeding. I personally wouldn’t have wanted to do it when he was a tiny newborn but agree that a properly set up sidecar cot is a good idea.

Prusik Mon 23-Oct-17 12:50:24

DH used to stay up and hold the baby until midnight. Ds was bottle fed so slightly different but you could feed and sleep as much as you can between 8pm- midnight. It's amazing how quickly you adjust to having four hours broken sleep!

Hope you're ok, op. Just relinquish all control and go with it. It's a killer but passes so quickly

Anatidae Mon 23-Oct-17 12:50:32

That’s actually pretty good sleep for a two week old. Mine didn’t sleep that well until over a year 😩

Ok so first things first: the baby is actually sleeping well (very well!) so perhaps (and of course if you’ve been given medical advice then follow that) you could stop the expressing? Suckling increases supply much better than expressing, and not everyone expresses well. Plus it’s knackering you out. You’d be better spending that time sleeping.

All babies lose after birth, all of them. Unless they continue to lose or have lost too much then the best thing to do is to shove them on the breast more. If they are having wet nappies then they are feeding.

Go to bed with your baby - follow the safe cosleeping guidelines while she’s in there. You don’t have to cosleep if you dont want to - a sidecar crib is a brilliant halfway house. Just lie down safely and rest
The key is you rest and let the baby feed and that suckling boosts supply. Right now they are only tiny and they’re not going to drink loads at a sitting, nor are you guaranteed to pump loads. I was shit at pumping, never managed much and it was a waste for me. the best way to build up your milk is let the baby drive the demand

Learn to nurse lying on your side. Lie down safely with the baby and you can both doze and feed.

Your baby is actually sleeping brilliantly, what’s doing you in is the pressure to pump - and that is something you can probably stop.

If you’re feeling really anxious please do talk to your mw. Mine woke hourly for 18m and for a good seven months or so he woke every twenty mins and it nearly killed me.

Look after yourself, take the pumping pressure off and just go with the flow.

ElizabethShaw Mon 23-Oct-17 12:56:46

Definitely feed lying down in bed! And put the bouncer or swing next to the sofa and nap too.

Make the most of having only one baby - when you have older ones you literally can only sleep at night shock

Jellybabie3 Mon 23-Oct-17 15:14:59

Ive caved and brought a sleepyhead which is coming tomorrow. Hope its worth the £. Gutted as love his moses sad

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