What on earth do I bloody do? 😢😢😢😢

(317 Posts)
Moanyponey Mon 20-Sep-21 18:18:57

Was at at meeting out of town today, went for lunch in a wine bar with a girl friend and whilst there saw my father in law with another woman. We were on the balcony looking down and father - in-law was below us defiantly lovey-dovey 'arms around her' with another woman😬.. He was supposed to be in a meeting in another town. Feeling so sick 😢

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Moanyponey Mon 20-Sep-21 18:21:19

Haven't told my husband anything 😢 my mum in law is lovely and treats me like a daughter sad

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Moanyponey Mon 20-Sep-21 18:22:31

God! I feel so sick 😥

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WishingYouAMerryChristmasToo Mon 20-Sep-21 18:22:44

Tell your husband. Get him to tell his mother

TopBlogger Mon 20-Sep-21 18:23:47

Tell DH, or text FiL directly and tell him what you saw

seensome Mon 20-Sep-21 18:23:48

I would tell them, did you get a picture?

Moanyponey Mon 20-Sep-21 18:23:57

God! What a mess! sad

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Thisisworsethananticpated Mon 20-Sep-21 18:24:02

Oh fuck
I’ll get shot down for this
But I’d sleep on it and do nothing for a while
(A) the messenger gets shot
(B) maybe your MIL knows
(C) it’s likely to devastate two people you know and care about

Others will disagree

But why should his cheating mess up your life and relationships
So for now I’d store it away

And you might decide to disclose later down the line

Emerarta Mon 20-Sep-21 18:24:27

That’s a really terrible position to be in. Firstly do you feel able to tell your Dh - they are his parents so the decision lies with him ultimately. He’s so stupid - out in public - he must know someone would see him !.

Moanyponey Mon 20-Sep-21 18:25:09

No I didn't get a picture.. I was just so shocked! I am still shaking!

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HawksAreRed Mon 20-Sep-21 18:26:10

Honestly I would just forget I saw anything. Envolving yourself will not end well.

lalafafa Mon 20-Sep-21 18:26:34

Tell fil you saw him, leave it to him to decide what to do.

TheQueef Mon 20-Sep-21 18:26:40

Wait or create a chance to get FiL alone, give him a deadline that you will be telling DH in seven days and suggest FiL tells first.

Theriband Mon 20-Sep-21 18:27:10

It's none of your business, stay out of it. Speak to the father in law quietly when you next see him if you want and put the shits up him

Emerarta Mon 20-Sep-21 18:27:40

Would your DH be level headed? Or is he likely to go straight round to challenge his dad. It’s so unfair that you are left feeling this way.

Moanyponey Mon 20-Sep-21 18:29:29

My husband has not been well lately (early hip replacement) and he is just getting back on his feet😢 we are due to go on holiday in scotland next week for 5 days with his parentssad we haven't been away for a good few years and we are so looking forward to it! What the hell do I do? God I wish I never saw this! 😥

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leavesthataregreen Mon 20-Sep-21 18:29:41

If you say anything to anyone I would speak to FiL in private and explain what happened. Just be absolutely honest - say you saw and you feel uncomfortable at the position it has put you in.

olidora63 Mon 20-Sep-21 18:30:29

I genuinely don’t know what to advise..very tricky! What were they doing to be certain it was a relationship meeting rather than friend meeting?

Womaninthistown Mon 20-Sep-21 18:31:52

I would tell my husband. You’re not making assumptions. Just say what you saw… his dad with a woman in the wine bar.

I think by not saying anything to your DH you’re lying by omission.

Flaunch Mon 20-Sep-21 18:32:03

I wouldn’t do anything and would try to forget I’d ever seen it sad

Awful situation to be in.

TheQueef Mon 20-Sep-21 18:32:19

First priority then is your DH, what would you expect him to do in the same dilemma? Did your mate see?

Babymamamama Mon 20-Sep-21 18:33:50

Leave well alone. Nothing good can come of stirring this up. You don’t know the circumstances and it’s none of your business anyway. Just forget the whole thing.

LowlandLucky Mon 20-Sep-21 18:33:55

Go on holiday and pretend all is well. Tell nobody.

LynetteScavo Mon 20-Sep-21 18:34:46

Don't say anything to your DH atm.

Tell your FIL privately that you saw him. MIL may or may not be aware. Get the low down from FIL before you decide how to proceed.

This could destroy MIL, so it may be best to keep this from her forever, and the few people who know the better

It could be that DH knows and MiL doesn't. So you need to speak to FIL.

layladomino Mon 20-Sep-21 18:35:04

I couldn't withhold something like that from my husband. We promised to always be honest with each other and I couldn't look him in the eye if I kept something like that from him.

I would be really upset if the tables were turned and he kept it from me, and I know he would feel the same.

Your FIL is the one in the wrong here. You become part of the lie if you keep quiet, surely?

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