How to spoil husbands illicit weekend - ideas please!

[WGC3]

We are still together but on verge of separating. I know where and when he is going, cant stop it happening but would like to make sure it is less than perfect - any advice??

[Expo]

Leave him too it. Move on. Too much emotional energy. Disentangle yourself and live YOUR life - not his.

[Hawkmoth]

Do you have roses in your garden? Open up a rosehip. The tiny hairs inside are itching powder. That's all I know.

[Aquamarine1029]

My advise is to behave like an adult and keep your beak out. You're separating. Why do you even care what he does? Don't lower yourself by being so petty.

[LizzieSiddal]

When he says goodbye as he goes off on his illicit weekend, just say “I know where you’re going, don’t bother coming back”.

It’s not a good idea to play games, just be honest then move on with your own life.x

[ConfCall]

If you’re separating leave him to it OP. See a solicitor. Good luck.

[MrsBlondie]

Grow up and leave him alone. if you are seperating why do you care

[WGC3]

because I don't want to separate...

[Happyspud]

I like the rose hip plan. Or shag him before he leaves and then text him when you know he’s on his way and apologise because you’ve just discovered you’ve chlamydia. Dr. gave you pills for him too. (Double whammy CIA he’ll wonder where you got it!)

[Aquamarine1029]

because I don't want to separate...

Unfortunately, that's not just your decision. He clearly does. You just have to accept it and move on.

[LimitIsUp]

You don't want to separate? Why would you try and hold onto a relationship where your partner has clearly checked out of it?

[Lipz]

There's a muscle spray you can buy, (can't think of the name of it) it works like deep heat but doesn't have that strong smell of deep heat, spray that inside all his jocks, he's bound to be packing some of them so do them all to be sure. Or an open tin of sardines in the bag when he has it packed and closed up, just slip them in.

[UncleMatthewsEntrenchingTool]

Chop a chilli in half and rub it inside all of his pants

[Namechangeforthiscancershit]

As in you've found out via another means or he has come clean?

[SandyGusset]

Call the hotel and ask for separate beds

[UncleMatthewsEntrenchingTool]

Is he taking the car? Fish in the vents/under the seats?
Put some diesel in the tank if petrol or vice versa.

[SandyGusset]

And a wake up call of 5am

[UncleMatthewsEntrenchingTool]

Laxitives in his food before he goes.

Accidentally knock his phone down the toilet/put in the washing machine

[QueenieMum]

If you do any of the things mentioned in this thread he's going to know who did it and why and it won't endear you to him. If you don't want to separate tell him before he leaves, even if you've told him already. All you can do is be honest about your feelings & what you want. If he doesn't want the same then stop wasting your energy.

[UncleMatthewsEntrenchingTool]

Pop the chop out of his bank card and put the card back in his wallet

[teenagetantrums]

Honestly why play childish games
He's just not the not you anymore. Pack his stuff and change the locks.

[UncleMatthewsEntrenchingTool]

*chip

[HappyHammy]

If you scupper it this could make him more determined to separate do you really want to stay with him knowing he is spending the weekend with someone else. It must be really hurtful but you need to look after yourself. Maybe you could go away that weekend yourself and not be home when he is due back. Does he know how you feel. Its cruel for him to stay with you at home if he has met someone else.

[Drogosnextwife]

Hang on, this guy is having an affair and OP is to grow up and keep her beak out. As she said, they are still together, I take it that means they have just been having problems and have talked about separating but haven't done it yet. That gives the husband permission to go and shag someone else before he has even left is wife. I've heard it all on hear now 🤔

[WGC3]

its complicated, emotional infidelity at the mo (longstanding with co-worker) on overseas work trip, might be heading towards full infidelity. Probably makes me a v bad person, but I would feel better if they didn't have a fantastic time... just looking for a subtle intervention to piss on their parade - Im only human...