Hello. I think I caught my wife having an emotional affair. We have been married for almost 16 years and together for almost 22 years. We have two children. I caught her by looking through her texts. I snooped because I was suspicious. She had been behaving like a lot of the classic symptoms of someone who is in a EA that you read online. I saved the evidence and confronted her on the weekend.
During the confrontation she admitted it looked bad and she said it was just a friendship and that she wouldn't have ever done it if she thought I would react that way.
The timing was awful because I discovered the evidence on the Wednesday, there was some item that made me think it might have been physical but it was my child's birthday on the weekend. So I kept it all inside because she was busy preparing for the birthday and I didn't want to cause a scene and ruin it all and the birthday. So what happened is I didn't sleep at all Wednesday through Saturday because of this. Needless to say, I was an emotional wreak and kept going back and forth between anger and crying probably because of lack of sleep. But I managed to put on a brave fake face and I think none of the other parents or the kids or our family noticed.
I don't want to go into too many details, I am posting this because I want to ask the following.
I am trying to figure out how to cope. Even though we did seem to make up and there was no blow up -- I am still going back and forth between feeling miserable and on the verge of crying and back to forgetting about it.
We left it at, she admitted that it looked bad and insisted I delete my copies. I didn't give her any ultimatums or demand she not have friends or delete his number. I know its improbable to go from texting almost daily to zero communication with a co-worker in one day.
I dont want to be the controlling paranoid husband who is constantly snooping on his wifes phone. I didn't demand anything from her or give an ultimatum. What sorts of signs should I be looking for to be convinced that she does really feel that she might have done something inappropriate and what should I look for to confirm that she has taking some sort of action on her part and I can start to try to trust her and feel normal again.
Any advice appreciated.
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Relationships
Emotional Affair
mm2one · 22/01/2018 21:57
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