Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

OW

170 replies

namechangeforobviousreasonss · 30/12/2016 20:58

Ok so I'm the other woman

Yes I know it's wrong, yes I've been cheated on in the past and yes I know I'm the awful person all women hate..I'm not looking for acceptance but I figured the amount of women on this forum surely someone else has been the OW? How did it turn out?

OP posts:

Report

TheWitTank · 30/12/2016 21:00

Never have/would be personally, but I'm sure lots have.
Out of interest, why are you the OW? What made you choose to be with someone who has a partner already? It fascinates me.

AuntieStella · 30/12/2016 21:02

You know, it doesn't matter one whit whether someone else's story turned out OK.

Nor is it going to help you to invite a flagellation.

But yes, you are selling yourself rather short if you are settling for the crumbs of attention that go with being the OW. Why?

KnittedBlanketHoles · 30/12/2016 21:03

Well your fella is a cheat, so how do you think it will turn out? Does the original woman know about you? If not, what lies did her tell her and does it worry you that he is a convincing liar? Can you tell when he's lying to you?

I'd be worried if it were me.

Patriciathestripper1 · 30/12/2016 21:04

Why in the whole world would someone choose to go after a married man?? Sorry but I Can't say anything positive to you right now as I've just had someone try and come between my husband and I.
You have no idea the pain you will cause and you will never build happiness over someone else's hurt. Especially if there are children involved. They will never be truly yours.

TheWitTank · 30/12/2016 21:09

Oh, just thought of one OW situation I am close to. My DF cheated on my DM with a work colleague. DM figured it out (DF is useless liar and was suddenly very into his looks, dressing nicely/aftershave etc). DM obviously devestated and furious -DF dropped OW like a shitty stick and begged DM to try again. Luckily for him, she did, marriage is now greatly improved after counselling. OW is now married to someone else who was apparently snogging someone else at the local pub the other night (small town!).

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 30/12/2016 21:09

Look through the threads OP, feel the pain !
You are worth more, than someone's second choice.

loobyloo1234 · 30/12/2016 21:12

Very rarely does it end well name - although I suspect you know that? Why don't you end things before someone gets hurt?

Whosthemummynow · 30/12/2016 21:12

you have no idea of the pain you will cause

Well technically its the husband that's causing the pain..... Unless you think the poor men just can't help themselves

AnyFucker · 30/12/2016 21:13

Lunar1 · 30/12/2016 21:14

How do you want it to turn out?

SparkleShinyGlitter · 30/12/2016 21:15

Never have been ow, No way would I ever be the other women

How do you end up shagging someone that has a partner? I'm always curious is it lack of morals/self respect. Plenty of single men out there you know....

What do you want from this thread? A load of ow to tell you it turned out ok for them after there selfish, painful actions caused a lot of people to hurt?

Pagwatch · 30/12/2016 21:16

I'm always curious about these threads. They are pretty frequent. I wonder what they are meant to achieve.

TheBadgersMadeMeDoIt · 30/12/2016 21:16

Have been the OW. It was a brief moment of weakness that led to an epic shitstorm of pain, lost friendships and regret.

It's never ok. I knew it wasn't ok even then, and can't quite remember what was in my head to make me override my usual values.

If he can't or won't be 100% yours, he's not worth your time.

SandyY2K · 30/12/2016 21:17

So because you've been cheated on you think it's okay to be the OW. I'll PM you a link to a forum for OWs. You can hear all their struggles and how lonely they are at Christmas, while MM is with his family.

When Dday comes the OW is chucked away like a used tissue.

The OW is a side piece and is wasting her time, often believing all the future faking.

Purplebluebird · 30/12/2016 21:19

I was, but I was 20 and the couple was dating and not living together. She found out and didn't tell until she quit the pill and got pregnant I was ditched but they broke up a couple of years later. I am still friends with the guy, but only friends now, and only chat on skype! We both are in happy relationships now.

CarbeDiem · 30/12/2016 21:19

I've never been nor would ever be the OW. I don't get why anyone would want to be.
Truthfully do you believe his bullshit? its been over for ages, he doesn't sleep with her and the good old... I'm only there for the kids?
Say he left to be with you, how could you ever trust him? After all he loved his wife once. I couldn't, not in a month of fucking sundays.
Whosthemummynow
The husband may be the one breaking his vows and cheating on his wife but the ow is as much complicit in breaking hearts and causing pain if she knows he is married to another.

Livelovebehappy · 30/12/2016 21:19

It's all about morals. I would never ever get involved with someone who is married or in a relationship. I just couldn't cause so much hurt and pain to another human being, and destroy another persons life. And yes, I've had it done to me. In my opinion, anyone who can be OW has absolutely no moral compass.

PurpleDaisies · 30/12/2016 21:20

Are you the same OW as yesterday's thread?

TheWitTank · 30/12/2016 21:20

I think these threads are about OW lessening their guilt -if lots of people do it, it can't be that bad? Also they want the fairy stories -the he left wife for me, happily ever after. OW are very often insecure and needy.

MummyToThree479 · 30/12/2016 21:21

you have no idea of the pain you will cause

Well technically its the husband that's causing the pain..... Unless you think the poor men just can't help themselves hmm

Um no, if your shagging a man you know has a partner Your no better than him. Half the pain caused is due to you!

I found out about my DH affair earlier this year, we are now starting divorce proceedings.
Is he now with the ow? Is he fuck, he didn't want her. She was fine to put his cock in now and then and I don't doubt he promised her the moon but he never had any intention of delivering the moon on a stick.

I'd love to know why you ended up shagging a man with a partner? No single man take your fancy? He offered sex and you just couldn't say no? No self respect?

TrippyMcTrapFace · 30/12/2016 21:22

Loads of OW outing themselves here the past few days.
Is it because their cheating twat affair partner is at home having a cosy Christmas with his family, or is there a desperate journo or two around?

rainbowstardrops · 30/12/2016 21:23

If they can easily lie and cheat to their partner then they can just as easily lie and cheat on you.
Seen it happen.
HTH

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 30/12/2016 21:25

I have been the OW, years ago at 17 years old with my first boyfriend, a 29 year old married man. He didn't tell me he was married - in fact he lied and said he was separated and only hadn't sold the marital home because of negative equity.

I fell totally in love with him and by the time he told me he was still married, I had been introduced to his family as his girlfriend and it was all very confusing. His wife found out about us, obviously as he wasn't really trying very hard to hide it, and was devastated.

He left her and moved in with me to a flat, then started to abuse me. Physically, verbally, emotionally, financially and sexually. His wife got revenge by having divorce papers served citing me as co-respondent on my 18th birthday at my parents house. We got engaged. He was still beating and raping me, and controlling every aspect of my life behind closed doors. Wouldn't let me take up my place at university, made me have an abortion, isolated me from all my friends.

He left me, two years later, for a girl who had been in my class at school. They are still together and married now but he is frequently unfaithful to her. He won't let her have children and has brainwashed her into thinking she doesn't want them, when I know from mutual friends that until she met him she had always planned to have kids.

I'm not saying that this will be your experience. I really hope it is not. But be careful, and make sure you have a support system outside your relationship.

ChocolateDoll · 30/12/2016 21:28

Are you single?

Usually makes a big difference whether or not the other woman is single or married herself.

Patriciathestripper1 · 30/12/2016 21:36

you have no idea the pain you will cause
Usually because the OW is single and the man is usually married with kids and that's the problem really - men helping themselves

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.