Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

DRY 12

(1000 Posts)
HowBadIsThisPlease Sun 01-May-16 20:12:57

Old thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2584735-DRY-11?

The thread for people who want to kick the booze

lilybetsy Sun 01-May-16 20:24:52

I'm here - still dry , and very committed to remaining so... Day 51 ....

How are you doing today howbad ? Have things been any better today ?

vxa2 Sun 01-May-16 21:35:13

Hi howbad Hi lily smile

The end of what seems to have been a very long Day 32. Hoping to feel more energetic in the morning.

51 days Lily - since you got to 42 days the time seems to have been flying by !

How are you feeling now howbad ?

CooeeOnlyMe Sun 01-May-16 21:42:51

Hey everyone, just checking in [waves]

Hope everyone's doing ok. Howbad I know that feeling of barely holding things together well. Up until a few weeks ago that was me too. On the surface everything seemed calm and well organised; in reality it was one step from disaster. Things have slowly got better and I put it down to having a clearer mind. Sleeping better and not wasting so much time drinking helps too.

So you got through today, that's the main thing. Things will get easier and better. Try to go easy on yourself.

cake for you.

misscookie Sun 01-May-16 22:46:05

I'm bored of fizzy water and cordial, so thought I'd make an effort to make some nice drinks for myself.
Tonights drink was super easy - fresh raspberries and cocoanut water blitzed in a blender with lime. Yum

HowBadIsThisPlease Sun 01-May-16 22:51:36

Thank you for asking. Glad to be in bed, ready for sleep, tomorrow has to be better. I did more today than I thought I would / could... I was very slow but I did get some house stuff sorted and feel better about stuff than I did 10 hours ago.

Thank you all of you for being around. It really helps.

Marryoneorbecomeone Sun 01-May-16 22:57:48

Hello, just popping in to offer encouragement. I stopped drinking in early December and went to AA, and I cannot begin to describe how much happier I am without wine. I swear upon my life I never thought I could write that and mean it, such was my love for booze, but it's true.

AA continues to be amazing. I thought it would be for park bench drunks but no, it's mostly people just like me.( Plenty of mid 40s housewives with uncomplicated lives who just can't stop drinking once they start.)

If you're thinking of AA, or need extra support in real life please do give it a go!

Love to all X

SlimCheesy Mon 02-May-16 06:42:52

Hi all- thanks for th shiny new thread!

Hi Marry.

smile

Happy Mondays evryone!

lilybetsy Mon 02-May-16 08:59:05

I'm getting a bit disheartened because I haven't lost ANY weight...

Now I stopped drinking 52 days ago, I no longer tip about 800 kcal down my neck every single night. I have stopped (largely) binge eating - no wildly fluctuating sugar levels has lead to much less sugar gorging.

As part of "taking care of myself" I have joined a gym again. I have been there 4-5 times every week for the last 4 weeks. It's not all CV exercise , I do a lot of yoga tai chi and Pilates, but I do run and do weights. Certainly I am much more active than I was. I walk the dog , briskly , regularly ....

I have really improved my nutritional intake, I bought a nutribullet and have proper fruit / veg smoothies every morning ...

But I am stubbornly still exactly the same weight ...

I'm not huge, I'm about a stone over ideal weight. My bmi is 25... But I'm short so I feel, and look, dumpy.

Foot stamp. NOT FAIR. I DESERVE to be thinner ,... Gggggggrrrrrrrrrrrr

jojomo Mon 02-May-16 10:13:48

Morning all, still here, still sober. Have woken up with a cold and had a rubbish nights sleep but at least am not hungover. Am going to need lots of coffee today!!

Good to hear a success story marry

I seem to remember Sober Mummy from the mummywasasecretdrinker blog saying her weight loss only kicked after 100 days lily if that's any consolation.

Have a good, sober day everyone.

vxa2 Mon 02-May-16 10:16:10

Hi lily I am exactly the same. I thought I would be losing weight but I have stayed stubbornly the same. I am also exercising more and eating better - apart from the last two days when I ate lots of carbs because I was feeling crap. But when I was drinking I would have had "nibbles"

My BMI is also 25 and I would like it to be 22.

I am crossing my fingers that at some point it will start dropping. It's rubbish though. sad

misscookie Mon 02-May-16 10:39:16

lilybetsy I've put on weight - but probably due to the amount of chocolate I consumed when I stopped drinking. Your bodies probably still getting used to not having to cope with the alcohol.

Marryone I agree life is so much better without wine and I never thought I would say that either!

Happy Sober BH Monday everyone, I'm off to play with my kids and make some nice food - so glad (fingers crossed) I'll never suffer a hang over again! grin

lilybetsy Mon 02-May-16 10:47:12

Sorry to hear you are in the same 'boat' vxa, I have been to the gym this morning to a class where I felt like the oldest, most uncoordinated, least fit person there ... I guess it's to be expected as most of the regular Monday morning people don't work,...

I looked back at the last time I was sober, and actually , by 2 months or so in, I hadn't really lost any weight that time either ... But by April I had lost well over a stone. ... I was quite unwell with anxiety then, so I thought it was that ... Oh well, on we go ...

Lucy2610 Mon 02-May-16 11:10:18

New thread yippee! grin
Those wondering about weight loss - took about 4-6 months for it to really start coming off. Appreciate that's probably not what you want to hear but that was my experience. Lost almost a stone and have remained at the new weight as the benefit of slower weight loss is it stays off! wink

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach Mon 02-May-16 11:16:05

I lost a bit of weight in the first week but that was probably just bloating blush

I was expecting my belly to melt away but it is now slowly diminishing. However, other parts have filled out (butt for one) which in my case is no bad thing as it was a bit pathetic/sagging before.

I am eating more so probably not saving many calories by not drinking, but I'm heartened to think that at least those calories now contain some sort of nutrition (apart from the chocolate, obvs!)

Good to hear the weight loss proper might kick in a bit further down the line.

I'm now over a month AF. Whole of April under my belt. Woooooop! grin

SlimCheesy Mon 02-May-16 11:37:11

I hate to say this, but I put on nearly 3 stone after starting to stop drinking. blush

BUT..... that has to be qualified by the following;

- I was/ am bulimic and around the same time i stopped drinking I also stopped vomiting - but kept up the bingeing with enthusiasm... increased my bingeing if anything
- I thought not tipping a bottle-2 bottles of wine a day meant I could eat ANYTHING. So I ate like a mad thing- chocolate, ice cream....... I would go to McDonalds after school and eat a Big Mac meal THEN go home for a full dinner.

I feel embarrassed to admit that. But, I am now getting the bingeing under control and the weight is now starting to come off. I am not 'dieting'. I am trying to eat three healthy meals a day, limit sugars and refined carbs. I am hopeful that I can sort my head out now and overcome my absolutely insanely disordered eating.

MatronLittle Mon 02-May-16 11:42:22

Hello everyone

I've been in deep thought I wasn't coming back but all roads lead to sobriety.

Yellow thanks for the PM xx

I have not been lurking so I have started to read back from where I left off. Thank you so much for the name checks and encouragement to try again. If I had of lurked the guilt would have got to me.

So I've rebuilt my drinking network and everyone is jolly pleased that I am back to my party throwing, boozy best again.

This is the biggest challenge for me. How do I live sober with all the people I love.

Day 1.

MatronLittle Mon 02-May-16 11:51:29

Hey Slim everything is better sober. Good to see you still here. I just lost a longer post. But in essence well done smile

MatronLittle Mon 02-May-16 11:58:03

I'm sitting here with the big blank paranoia that comes from not having a clue what the last third of my evening involved.

Clammy, sick with a thumping head but I would double the physical symptoms to lose the mental anguish.

HowBadIsThisPlease Mon 02-May-16 12:13:50

Hi Matron. good to see you again.
Day 2 here.
Here to chat if you want.

Horrible row with P this morning. he pushed me again... he has no respect for me.
Really low. Having very dark thoughts.
I'm going to drink a pot of tea and then try to get to the gym. Even if just for a gentle swim.

I really hate myself and my life. There is nothing I can do about it because wherever I go, I'm there. I dreamed that I was so lonely living alone in my old flat and couldn't understand why because I was never lonely before. (I was actually but this was the dream). I forgot about my little girls and when I remembered them I knew what was missing. I phoned my friend who had them and she was all breezy and chatty about bringing them back later the same day. I was so relieved.

I'm afraid of losing them, I am afraid of what will happen with P and where I will end up and where they will end up.

I actually hate P at times. I had the stupid thought today that I might just take something of his and throw it away for no reason, something small but important like a key or some glasses. I would never do that and have never even thought something like that before. It is horrifying to me how much pleasure the thought gave me. he doesn't listen to me and I can't defend myself and it gives me such a thrill to think that rather than reason with him I could just hurt him without giving him a choice. Pathetic. I don't want to be that person.

I have been thinking about self harm and worse. It feels so difficult when there is no one on my side. It is hard to be trying so hard all the time, and failing, and to receive no encouragement or respect.

I hear you all on the weight thing. One of the constant pressures of failure is, tragically, what should be this rather trivial thing of looking shit all the time. I don't scrub up very well any more, I need to lose a lot of weight and I can't seem to buy clothes that fit me or suit me. I tried to make a bit more of an effort to try recently and as a result I am always surrounded by bags and packages of things that cost a fair amount of money but look shit on me because I am shit, and I am always having to find the time to return them or post them back. It's practically a hobby now, returning clothes that don't look good on me, it's a weekly chore. Im just not doing it any more. I've just decided to wear the things I have no matter how few fit me or how bored I am of them, because making an effort makes no difference and it just means it's a whole other thing to have to do and feel bad about. I have nothing to wear for the summer and I'll just deal with that when I get there, somehow, because trying to think ahead is just not working and it's depressing me. Maybe I will call in sick when the sun comes out, or something.

MatronLittle Mon 02-May-16 12:21:46

Hi Howbad have you got anyone in RL you can be with today? Sorry you are having such an awful time. I also have a lot of dreams in first AF week.

when you say P pushed you do you mean provoked you or physically shoved you?

HowBadIsThisPlease Mon 02-May-16 12:27:59

Hi Matron. No, nobody I can call really. I mean physically. I told him that I could call the police and have him removed and asked if that is what he wanted. He didn't believe me and doesn't care. He has this incredible sense of superiority over me, he just can't believe that I could be right about anything like that. he is so sure that I am crap and he is right and even pushing me about is ok because it's me and I deserve it.

HowBadIsThisPlease Mon 02-May-16 12:29:58

I have been feeling this tension mount and I knew I wasn't coping but I honestly have no idea what to about it. I think I basically need something healthy and fun but I can't imagine enjoying anything, I can't even remember what I enjoy.

MatronLittle Mon 02-May-16 12:34:14

Howbad have you got a local women's refuge? Even if you are not planning to leave they will most certainly have experience of advising women in similar situations. You sound under a tremendous amount of stress flowers

HowBadIsThisPlease Mon 02-May-16 12:40:16

I need to get off facebook because it feels like everyone I know has just run some fabulous race and has some loving husband or partner being all proud of them and it is just killing me. I can't imagine anyone being proud of me, I literally can't imagine what that would be like and I can't understand how I can have managed to so consistently do everything so wrong for so many years and years and years that I now am so cpomletley alone. I try and try and try and I am still shit

This thread is not accepting new messages.