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Hand hold please, this will get nasty

(82 Posts)
jayho Sun 21-Feb-16 18:38:20

My son told me his father physically assaulted him during contact. He doesn't want to go back 'for a while'.

Ex is EA, FA, extremely manipulative.

I've contacted social services and reported. They are going to risk assess, I think, and get back to me.

Ex is going to go bonkers.

One question, contact was court ordered several years ago, do these orders, like financial orders lapse?

ImperialBlether Sun 21-Feb-16 18:40:13

Why didn't you call the police instead of social services?

How old is your son now? If he's been hurt by his dad surely he has the right not to see him.

Costacoffeeplease Sun 21-Feb-16 18:41:15

Surely you need to call the police to report an assault? And that would help in stopping contact?

bodenbiscuit Sun 21-Feb-16 18:42:13

yes call the police and don't let your son near him in the meantime.

fastdaytears Sun 21-Feb-16 18:42:51

No, the contact order won't have lapsed. Why wouldn't you call the police? Have SS already been involved with your ex?

Marchate Sun 21-Feb-16 18:47:36

Let the police 'risk assess' too! Assault is a crime, your child couldn't report it to police so you really must

jayho Sun 21-Feb-16 18:47:41

a lot of ss involvement, generally him accusing me of harming the children, nothing has ever been found and he's listed as a malicious complainant, same with police.

I wasn't sure about the police. I'll call them now, thanks, in a bit of a fog. To be clear, his father hit him, pushed him and made him stay in his room for two days.

Son is 11.

jayho Sun 21-Feb-16 18:48:20

re court order, I'm worried about him enforcing it

Sarah715 Sun 21-Feb-16 18:48:40

Does your son have any visible marks you could photograph?

Poor lad sad

jayho Sun 21-Feb-16 18:49:31

I've got a nominated officer from previous domestic abuse, I'll see if he's on duty

fastdaytears Sun 21-Feb-16 18:51:21

Your poor DS. That's awful. Call your DV officer now.

pocketsaviour Sun 21-Feb-16 18:52:02

Definitely ring police. Your poor DS sad Please give him reassurance that he has done thr right thing in telling you, and that nobody should treat him like this.

jayho Sun 21-Feb-16 18:54:37

hit him round the back of the head, happened last friday, came out in dribs and drabs

ImperialBlether Sun 21-Feb-16 18:58:48

Made him stay in his room for two days? That's appalling.

jayho Sun 21-Feb-16 18:59:25

ok, emailed dv officer. Have to feed boys and put to bed now. Thanks for clarity

goddessofsmallthings Sun 21-Feb-16 20:37:58

Your ds is of an age where his wishes will be taken in account with regard to how much, if any, contact he has with his father.

Let SS/the police assess the situation and inform your ds's school and GP of what he alleges took place.

Do you have younger dc and were any of your other dc present when your ds was physically assaulted?

jayho Sun 21-Feb-16 21:34:17

my son was alone when this happened, in his bedroom but younger ds voluntarily corroborated that he was excluded from the family for two days, had to take his meals alone etc.

11yo is clear that he wants 'a break' from contact which i will support. My dv support officer does not seem to be on duty - I've emailed and he's good at responding. I have not made any other police contact so it's just SS and not sure if I should call 101

notapizzaeater Sun 21-Feb-16 21:36:17

What a nasty piece if work - your poor son

jayho Sun 21-Feb-16 21:38:05

is this a police matter?

NameAgeLocation Sun 21-Feb-16 21:39:50

I think it is. You are not allowed to hit someone around the head just because they're related to you.

jayho Sun 21-Feb-16 21:40:33

ok, calling, classic ea victim, think i might be wrong...

RandomMess Sun 21-Feb-16 21:41:03

Yes I think it is, it sounds like an assault on a minor?

cheapskatemum Sun 21-Feb-16 21:41:26

I thought police informed social services and social services informed police about safeguarding issues?

NameAgeLocation Sun 21-Feb-16 21:42:28

By the way, obviously I feel for your son but I also think, poor you! You must feel awful for him. Thank heavens your son has you to stand up for him, but don't forget that this is difficult for you too. Have a brew and a bit of sympathy from this internet stranger flowers

jayho Sun 21-Feb-16 22:05:28

thank you, much appreciated, police were great sending someone out tomorrow, they will sync with social services. I have to say I always knew he wouldn't be able to contain his behavior around the children but it's horrible

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