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Why do men get so angry when they've drank alcohol?

(78 Posts)
Madandsad15 Wed 23-Dec-15 18:29:14

My boyfriend after he drinks turns nasty(verbally) says he hates me and doesn't love me and hasn't for a while/only with me for the kids when he has had a drink.
Yet when he drinks with his friends he is just happy drunk and the life and soul.

Why do men do this?
What makes the nastiness start?

AuntieStella Wed 23-Dec-15 18:31:22

Some people (both sexes) are nasty drunks.

But it doesn't sound as if your BF is one of them. After all, he's fine except towards you.

That is a huge red flag.

Owllady Wed 23-Dec-15 18:31:31

Not all men get nasty, just like all women dont after a drink. I'd suggest if he is upsetting you and being aggressive you ask him to fuck off and grow up

are you ok?

rockabillyruby82 Wed 23-Dec-15 18:32:05

You can't generalise, your dp does that, some do but not all.
The question you need to ask is why does he behave like that with you?

Madandsad15 Wed 23-Dec-15 18:33:25

I'm fine yeah I just wonder why it's me he is nasty too.
I worry he really feels that way and the alcohol makes him speak the truth.

EvaBING Wed 23-Dec-15 18:33:27

Have one here beside me too. Waiting for the first slap.
Merry fucking Christmas you stalking sulking abusive cunt.

Marchate Wed 23-Dec-15 18:33:38

Sadly, the nastiness will be there all the time. The alcohol gives them an 'excuse' to express it.

Proof of this is that he's 'happy drunk' with his friends. He keeps the nastiness for you.

Someone please provide chapter/page from Why Does He Do That?

EvaBING Wed 23-Dec-15 18:34:41

Mine is a coward and I'm easier to slap than a man.

Fucking sick of it.

Wolfiefan Wed 23-Dec-15 18:34:43

If a person gets nasty when drinking then they need to drink MUCH less or not at all. Or move out.

Madandsad15 Wed 23-Dec-15 18:35:39

When we met 6 years ago he was fun with me drunk.
He was more touchy feely more emotional telling me about feelings etc.
Now it's just "hate you" "you've ruined my life" blah blah.

Madandsad15 Wed 23-Dec-15 18:36:22

I'm so sorry Eva :-(
Hope your okay.
My bf is never violent just with words.

Wolfiefan Wed 23-Dec-15 18:36:39

How often does he get drunk?

coffeeisnectar Wed 23-Dec-15 18:36:50

No one should put up with abuse from anyone, male or female, drunk or sober.

Women's aid can help you leave.

Madandsad15 Wed 23-Dec-15 18:37:41

Every weekend.

Madandsad15 Wed 23-Dec-15 18:38:53

He is fine sober.
Doesn't really speak to me much but isn't nasty.
When he has had a drink he usually stays with his mate.
Any excuse not to come home I reckon.

Wolfiefan Wed 23-Dec-15 18:39:13

Sounds like he has a problem with alcohol. You don't have to put up with verbal or physical abuse. Time to cut your losses?

rockabillyruby82 Wed 23-Dec-15 18:39:24

What is he like sober?

Owllady Wed 23-Dec-15 18:40:03

Eva? sad you need to report him
log it all

bumblebeerat Wed 23-Dec-15 18:41:28

I think both men and women can get aggressive with drink I know it's a reason I don't drink as I would get angry at everything. It wasn't directed at one particular person just anyone/thing.

He seems to be only aiming it at you and you deserve better than that.

goodnightdarthvader1 Wed 23-Dec-15 18:41:37

Doesn't really speak to me much but isn't nasty.


rockabillyruby82 Wed 23-Dec-15 18:41:48

Ok, so when he's sober he doesn't converse with you and when he's drunk he's abusive.
Any other problems in your relationship?
At the mo it sounds like he doesn't really love or want to be with you.

Madandsad15 Wed 23-Dec-15 18:42:23

The drinking only started like this since we moved in together.
He is ok sober.
Just unhappy and snappy.
Never smiles.
Maybe he ain't happy.
I don't know.

SmallLegsOrSmallEggs Wed 23-Dec-15 18:42:46

It's not the alcohol. It's him. Sounds like an ulitmatum might be in order.

eva you can leave. It isn't easy but it can be done. Life is too short. Cobtact WA and/or the police if he hits you.

leaningtoweroflego Wed 23-Dec-15 18:43:36

My DP gets silly and happy when he's drunk, he's good fun to be around.

ExP got angry when he was drunk. It got worse the longer we were together, hence he is now the ex.

You do not need to put up with this. Please don't let him use the booze as an excuse. He is being nasty to you. If he can't be nice to you he should not drink. If he's not willing to stop drinking then he is saying he is going to carry on doing this to you. If he wok't stop, you need to protect yourself and take you me self away from him.

LTB, please xxx

Madandsad15 Wed 23-Dec-15 18:44:23

He doesn't like his job.
Lack of sleep as we have a 8 month old.
He said he is bored.
Not sure if that's life or me or just in general.

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