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Feeling shaken over DH's overreaction to my stupid behaviour

(257 Posts)
WonkyBookshelf Wed 09-Jan-13 18:29:37

Toddler and I were sat on the floor playing. I was feeling a bit ignored by DH, who was sitting at the computer while we played, so I jokingly chucked the wet nappy I'd just changed at him (it was balled up). My aim is shit so I accidentally caught his glasses and knocked them off (was aiming for his chest).

I fully expected him to be pissed off by my frankly stupid behaviour, but he totally overreacted. He shouted something incoherent and threw the nappy really hard at the floor, where it burst and covered DS and I in those little gel balls it's filled with. DS was upset by the mess as he got some in his hair and it was all over me.

I feel sick and a bit shaky but also stupid because I should never have thrown the nappy at him in the first place. Things have been quite tense recently as we are both feeling stressed so it shouldn't have been a surprise that he wouldn't have found it funny, even if it hadn't knocked his glasses off. But still, he was disproportionately angry and I hate that DS saw that. I'm also 7.5 months pregnant sad.

extracrunchy Wed 09-Jan-13 19:01:35

OP hope you're ok x

Astley Wed 09-Jan-13 19:01:48

Do you need his atttention to play with your own child?!

Ephiny Wed 09-Jan-13 19:02:03

I would probably be feeling 'dislike' for you (to say the least) if you threw a dirty nappy at me!

Did you apologise?

dequoisagitil Wed 09-Jan-13 19:02:20

What happened afterwards? How is he now? Have you talked about it?

Ephiny Wed 09-Jan-13 19:04:41

I'm not quite seeing what's wrong with one parent using the computer while the other plays with the child either. Nothing about this situation makes any sense to me tbh. confused

Bubblegum78 Wed 09-Jan-13 19:05:09

I think you should appologise, tell him it was an ill judged joke and didn't mean to upset him.

I agree with Astley, it's pretty disgusting to throw a wet nappy at someone so in reality he didn't overreact?


JustFabulous Wed 09-Jan-13 19:05:11

Well if he was working no wonder he wasn't being attentive to you hmm.

Both in the wrong but you worse I'm afraid. Throwing a dirty nappy at anyone is just so ridiculous I can't believe you actually thought it was okay to do.

You need to apologise to him and mean it.

Your baby doesn't need to see either of you being idiots.

Hullygully Wed 09-Jan-13 19:05:20

Oh dear.

Both say sorry and have a nice hug and don't do it again

fluffyraggies Wed 09-Jan-13 19:05:41

OP obviously you're feeling unhappy about something within your relationship. It is daunting to try and explain here, i know.

Have you tried to talk to your DH about your issues though? Is this an old problem?

GirlOutNumbered Wed 09-Jan-13 19:08:01

I don't think he over reacted, I would have probably thrown it back harder. Nothing a sorry shouldn't fix though.

WonkyBookshelf Wed 09-Jan-13 19:08:55

He wasn't working. He was just surfing.

sudaname Wed 09-Jan-13 19:08:59

He threw it at the floor.Very restrained - l'd have wiped your face with it. You threw it actually at him. The fact it was rolled up and only had urine in it is totally irrelevant. Most people would still feel - had it touched their clothes or hair or face,the need to thoroughly clean glasses or any other surface it touched, shower and change their clothes.

All because you felt 'ignored' by your DH while you were playing with your DC. hmm. Do you only play with your DC to get attention off your DH then ?

Grow up - or next time throw a cushion.

HyvaPaiva Wed 09-Jan-13 19:09:49

If I was at the computer and something flew at my head, knocking my glasses right off, I'd instinctively throw it out of my way and shout due to shock and feeling defensive. If that thing that been thrown on purpose by my spouse and was a soiled nappy I would be absolutely raging mad. It was in no way an overreaction by your husband. Throwing it was in no way acceptable or 'joking'. Feeling shaky? Then don't hit people in the face and proceed to judge them for their reaction. Your action did this. Other problems may need to be dealt with and you need to talk through that with your DH. I hope you do sort out any issues. However, what you've specifically presented as the problem in the OP is foul. You don't 'jokingly' throw soiled nappies at anyone's face. That's so disgusting behaviour, OP.

WonkyBookshelf Wed 09-Jan-13 19:12:16

I felt ignored because he spends a good amount of time ignoring me. But it was very bad behaviour on my part.

Snorbs Wed 09-Jan-13 19:12:21

"This felt like he really, really dislikes me."

Maybe it's nothing personal. It could be that he would really, really dislike having things thrown in his face by anyone. I know I do.

Kiriwawa Wed 09-Jan-13 19:12:36

If anyone threw a dirty nappy at my face hard enough to knock my glasses off, they'd be lucky if I didn't open it up and shove their face into it.

It's a really, really horrible thing to do

sparkle12mar08 Wed 09-Jan-13 19:13:04

Honestly? I think he was in the right and YAB utterly U. There may be issues in your marriage as you've said, but you started this incident and you are totally responsible for it. Grow up and sort out your marriage in a proper adult manner, not like a three year old.

WonkyBookshelf Wed 09-Jan-13 19:13:04

Thanks for the feedback btw.

BoffinMum Wed 09-Jan-13 19:14:20

I am in the camp that would have shouted at you as well. Horsing about is one thing, but that's bizarre and really annoying.

Ephiny Wed 09-Jan-13 19:15:17

But what's so wrong with 'just surfing'? Isn't that what you're doing on MN right now? How would you like it if he threw a dirty nappy at your face for daring to read MN instead of paying attention to him?

LynetteScavo Wed 09-Jan-13 19:15:53

He didn't over react. He probably feels shaken that you threw a dirty nappy at his face.

I'm curious as to how you will both explain to your DS that you don't throw things in the house in the future.

Do you not think you acted disproportionately to him surfing the net?

VoiceofUnreason Wed 09-Jan-13 19:16:53

Stupid immature behaviour on your part, Wonky. I don't think he overreacted or acting disproportionately by throwing it on the floor and getting stroppy.

curiousuze Wed 09-Jan-13 19:18:30

Was it poop or pee??

Oh dear OP, I'd go and find him and tell him you're sorry. Like someone else said - hug it out!

WonkyBookshelf Wed 09-Jan-13 19:18:40

Right now I am crying too much to be in the same room as DS, so I am sitting upstairs while his father gives him a bath.

Apologies, DH uses the net as a life avoidance tactic. I'm feeling unsupported and unloved. I'm not trying to excuse my behaviour though.

Viviennemary Wed 09-Jan-13 19:19:09

So it was OK for you to throw the nappy but not OK for him to throw it back. I don't think I'd want to live with somebody who thought it was fun to throw dirty napppies at me. I think you should take up a sport where you throwing skills could be improved.

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