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How many men / women have you slept with?

(344 Posts)
ElizabethX Wed 01-Aug-12 18:18:24

Assuming you can remember that is.

Today for the first time ever I counted and it is 14* / 0**.

I am 35. This is just under 1 a year since I became sexually active (started late...4th term at uni). I'm not counting youthful messing about, I mean full sex.

This doesn't seem so many to me and obv its going to depend when you became monogamous anyway. But, I have seen articles that suggest a much lower figure, eg 7 for men 4 for women.

Am I a bit of a slapper (which I would be fine with, I enjoyed it) or are all these people just lying? I think the latter, because judging by who I have spoken to 14 is much more typical than 4.

* 14 men I think
** no women I am sure

JodieHarsh Wed 01-Aug-12 18:45:43

I don't think there's a 'good score' or 'bad score' is there?! Other than the score you're happy with!

Note: I would still be saying this had I boffed anyone other than DH grin

ninah Wed 01-Aug-12 18:47:15

that's certainly not a stealth boast sgb grin

solidgoldbrass Wed 01-Aug-12 18:49:22

I think it sort of matters because some people consider the numbers game a matter of morality rather than choice/circumstances with the idea that women should have a really low score to be 'good' women, and that those of us with high scores should have tales of woe attached or at the very least have to end our stories with finding The One and embracing monogamy.

I'd quite like to make it to at least 200 before I die and I am not ashamed or regretful about any of the last lot. Well, not profoundly so, there were a few not-the-best-idea-ever, but nothing horrible or deeply traumatic.

ElizabethX Wed 01-Aug-12 18:49:50

hi ninah

yes it was me and yes it is going fine thanks for asking. only a month in of course. he's exactly the same as he was before and dating him is exactly like I imagined.

I'm no longer concerned about being neighbours and it going tits up because he just doesn't strike me as the sort to go arsey about it if that happened.

he has this very matter of fact way of looking at stuff where he sort of thinks aloud about something and arrives at the answer and I think fuck, so obvious, why didn't I think of that? it is nice really, already he is the first person i ask for advice about stuff. i am sorting my shit out. the kitchen will be finished and i will find a purpose in life again.

meanwhile he is also well handy around the house, doesn't ponce, has a fit body and is a terrific dirty shag. there has to be a catch but I am buggered if I can spot what it is. ask me in three months...

ninah Wed 01-Aug-12 18:51:35

nice one elizabeth it all sounds v promising!

mercury7 Wed 01-Aug-12 18:53:21

when we read that the average man or woman has had x amount of partners, is that a mean, median or mode average?

ThisLittleTeddyBear Wed 01-Aug-12 18:53:50

1 man, 0 women, 1 borderline.

ElizabethX Wed 01-Aug-12 18:54:15

@ sgb

are you counting it in terms of: PIV only?

sorry for being thick but what's PIV?

my definition is that you both got naked and there was penetration and / or one or both of you came, not neccessarily every time you did it but at least once with each other.

bit crap I know but for me there has been teenage mutual hand jobs and then there has penetration with nudeness, orgasms and a need for contraception.

ninah Wed 01-Aug-12 18:54:43

unlikely to be a mode of 4

RubeCube Wed 01-Aug-12 18:55:01

3! Square bear aren't I!

That's 10 years worth of sex (long term relationships), inc DH.

ThisLittleTeddyBear Wed 01-Aug-12 18:55:36

I hasten to add-

I meant borderline whether it counts, not borderline whether it was a man or woman! blush

fridakahlo Wed 01-Aug-12 18:56:15

Men: no idea, way over a hundred.
Women: around sixteen or so.
Tis amazing though, I've only ever had two stds and all my pregnancies have been with the same person.

ElizabethX Wed 01-Aug-12 18:56:22

well in that article the 4 men per woman was the median.

ninah Wed 01-Aug-12 18:56:22

glad you clarified that ltb!

perceptionreality Wed 01-Aug-12 18:57:21


ThisLittleTeddyBear Wed 01-Aug-12 18:57:22


mercury7 Wed 01-Aug-12 19:02:22

but how useful is it to know this stuff?
To get a good picture of sexual behaviour in any given culture surely we'd need to know more than just numbers, it doesnt necessarily tell you how happy people are about their sex lives?

PentreMoch Wed 01-Aug-12 19:04:39

4/0 and frankly I wish it was only 3/0 (one of them was awful)

fuckwittery Wed 01-Aug-12 19:04:54

That's an American survey. America is a more religious country, and I think the age of marriage is earlier.

fuckwittery Wed 01-Aug-12 19:06:08

Yup, according to Wikipedia, average age of first marriage for men 28.4, women 26.5
For the UK it's 30.7 and 28.5

ElizabethX Wed 01-Aug-12 19:06:41

@ mercury

well I'm finding it instructive that there are quite a few genuine low numbers.

am grudglingly impressed by fridakahlo and sgb's 3-digits. I would sleep with 100 attractive men given the chance but I haven't met 100 attractive men who wanted to sleep with me.

MamaLazarou Wed 01-Aug-12 19:08:18

26/2. I had a fair amount of fun before I settled down.

Houseofplain Wed 01-Aug-12 19:09:17

Oh ok...erm you need to up that quite a bit then!

LordOfThe5Rings Wed 01-Aug-12 19:11:40

2 men, no woman all the way just fooling around with so 0.

I'm 22. I don't plan for it to be any more either, as I've found my perfect man (in my opinion).

mercury7 Wed 01-Aug-12 19:13:10

perhaps it would be more instructive to know how many offers/opportunities are person has had and what proportion of those they turned down?

that would be rather taxing to the memory though! grin

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