Hi, wanted to start a thread for anyone who is feeling a bit conflicted by their pregnancy as their partner is not very happy about it. I'm in the same situation and don't know what to do... obviously everyone is different but has anyone got any advice on how they dealt with it? or if anyone just needs to talk it out, I'm happy to listen :)
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Pregnancy
CherryCreme ·
29/05/2020 20:22
I'm 29 weeks pregnant (unplanned) and my OH wasn't happy at first, I was fully preparing myself to be a single mum! He still has his moments, he opened up that it was hard as he didn't feel listened to & that his opinion didn't matter when we found out. Now he says it's strange as he isn't the one experiencing the pregnancy and it won't feel real until she's here. He tries his best though and that's all I can ask for given the circumstances, we are very much in it together, choosing a name together etc, I think a lot of men don't have the "maternal instinct" that we get!
I hope your OH gets his head around the idea soon so that you can enjoy your pregnancy together 
Grumpy19 ·
29/05/2020 21:02
I have just booked an appointment with Marie Stopes. Crying in my room!
I don't think I will ever be able to forgive my husband so our marriage is probably screwed now either way but I can't raise 4 children alone. (Especially on my crap wage) 
kfcplease ·
31/05/2020 07:59
No he doesn't "have to come round" and you can't be 100% certain. You was fortunate that that your partner did but just because that happened to you doesn't mean the same for others. I get that your excited but that's really rubbish advice.
People's marriages are potentially on the line so "just don't stress" is probably not an option!
I hope everything works out for you ladies and you get the outcome you hope for. It's a rough time I went through the same a few years ago. It broke me and partner. I had so much resentment for him at the time but I've now come to terms. He didn't force me to do it but I personally didn't want to do alone.
Whatever happens, You will be ok 
disorganisedsecretsquirrel ·
31/05/2020 08:25
The problem I see here PinkBlossom22 is one of control over ones future - or in the mans case - complete lack of it.
The making of a baby - especially an unplanned baby, is a joint venture (assuming contraception has been discussed and used as directed and no duplicity has occurred) .
However the continuance of that pregnancy and the decision to become a parent is the sole decision of the woman. As it should be. You have the right to decide what happens to your body.
The man doesn't have a 'say' in the decision about what you choose. He can have input and it is important he is honest about his feelings.
It is extremely unwise to expect a man to be accepting of having fatherhood thrust upon him if it wasn't planned and is not wanted. If it is your decision to continue a pregnancy that your partner does not want - then you do that , it's your right .
However be absolutely sure you are prepared to lose the relationship and be a lone parent from the get go.
Do not make a decision on the hope and expectation 'he will come round' , relationships where one person makes these kind of life choices for the other partner against their wishes - have very very little chance of continuing. His only obligation is financial. (and don't rely on that either - it's far from easy)
If you make the choice to go this alone - then I wish you congratulations.
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