Unhappy partners...

[PinkBlossom22]

Hi, wanted to start a thread for anyone who is feeling a bit conflicted by their pregnancy as their partner is not very happy about it. I'm in the same situation and don't know what to do... obviously everyone is different but has anyone got any advice on how they dealt with it? or if anyone just needs to talk it out, I'm happy to listen :)

@Grumpy19 please don't go through with it it's not too late. Trust me nothing is better than your baby. When he sees you put the child first he will follow you. I was fortunate to have my boyfriend family because I considered an abortion after he wasn't happy but they told me that once the baby is born the love you get from your child will be greater than any other love. I'm glad I fought through because now he holds my stomach and is happy about it. He was just scared at first but once it became more real to him and after some stern talking to from his family he is much better. Give it some time this guy would tell me how unhappy he was the first time we got pregnant and this time that he isn't ready and last time I was so stressed and sad I was thinking about an abortion and then he came around. Them I had a miscarriage and he was so sad. This time I considered an abortion but I remembered the first time and decided to push through and not let him stress me. He still isn't where I would want him to be, but I realize that it's just because he not pregnant. The baby just a foreign thing that won't be a real baby for 9 months so an abortion doesn't seem like your really killing a baby. For a mother you understand this is already a baby. Please hang in there I'm willing to bet he will come around and y'all will grow but you can do this and you and him deserve that baby even if you don't realize it just yet.

@Grumpy19 ok see, posts like above are exactly what we were talking about.

Thanks for all the advice.
I have spoken again to my husband.
I will be having a consultation with Marie Stopes tomorrow and they will then send out some pills.
I think my marriage will end soon after that.
If I don't he'll leave me and I'll have 4 children to bring up alone and the 3 I have will forever resent me and the baby for driving him away.
I don't think I have ever felt so heartbroken in my entire life.

@Grumpy19 I have no words of advice but I just wanted to say I’m so, so sorry. I truly hope you will be OK

Akamki14 That is extremely unkind, if not cruel, to try to force what you think is right on someone in Grumpy's position.

She doesn't just have to think about herself, her husband and a potential baby, but she is also responsible for the quality of life of the children she already has.

Grumpy Nobody wants to be in your position but millions of women have been there. Whatever you decide, remember you are doing it because you are a caring mother.

@Akamki14 do you realise how insensitive you're being here?

@Akamki14 how are you?? Because You sound about 14! Get your head out of your arse and stop giving awful advice! This is not a Disney movie, can you not see that a family(ies) is potentially being torn apart and you think getting his parents to give him "a stern talking to" will do the trick?!

Grow up!

@Grumpy19 so sorry this isn't the outcome you had hoped for and for how you are feeling. I hope you have someone you can confide in to help you through this. sending you lots of love x

Hello,
Just wanted to update you.
After a few days of complete misery and waiting for the pills to arrive, DH said he didn't want me to go through with a termination.
He said he still thinks 4 children is ridiculous but he couldn't stand by and watch me do something that we would both forever have regrets about.
I'm not saying he's thrilled at the prospect of another baby but he's coming round to it.

I truly can't believe it. I was all set to end it. But tomorrow I'm going to make contact with the midwives instead.

@Grumpy19 Oh my god, congratulations!! I’m so pleased for you, I really hope it all works out for all six of you x

@MinesALatte, thank you. X

@Grumpy19 I’m really pleased you managed to work it out with your OH! Wonderful news x

Great news, how are you feeling grumpy? Please take care a big shock for both of you x

Response to OP. What I've found from my 2 pregnancies and friends talking about theirs, guys tend to take a while to get their head around it because they immediatrely start thinking about the practicalities ie. What they can afford, if it'll affect work, where the baby will sleep etc. The emotional tie in comes in later. So whereas it appears they seem unhappy at first it's usually they're just trying to digest the info and what's going to change etc. I've seen posts and things in the past where it seems to be after the scans it seems more real and exciting for the OH x

Hi @Cherryrainbow thank you for your message! yeah I am hoping that is the case with my OH. I have noticed the last few days him making some small comments about the pregnancy (in a positive way) like how big i'll be at Christmas and how unlucky I am for not being able to have a beer in the sun etc. even though he doesn't want to talk about anything serious I'm pleased he is accepting that the baby is here to stay and that we are not having those difficult conversations about terminating anymore. I guess I just thought the shock would wear off like it did with me and we would start to be excited together and be able to talk about the nice things. I'll take each day as it comes from now on and just be happy with the small positive changes!