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Nice, appropriate things to say to pregnant ladies

(52 Posts)
Miffster Wed 06-Oct-10 08:57:19

We've been shock and angryrecently on the thread about weird and inappropriate things people say to pregnant women.

So I thought I'd start a thread where we could collate sensible, supportive questions and nice, encouraging remarks for the benefit of colleagues, partners, family, in-laws, random strangers, people in shops and so on.

Any thoughts?

Miffster Wed 06-Oct-10 09:14:53

God, it's actually quite hard to think of anything.

I like it when people say 'Being pregnant really suits you, you look lovely' and 'Good luck with the baby!' (had that shouted across the street from a gang of schoolgirls and I was weirdly touched because I was expecting them to stare or sneer or mock as I huffed along in my saddo pregnancy jeans).

Poledra Wed 06-Oct-10 09:16:12

'Would you like a cup of tea and some cake?' was a particularly nice thing to say to me when I was pregnant.

Actually, it's still a pretty nice thing to say to me, and DD3 is 2...............................

passionberry Wed 06-Oct-10 09:20:30

Anything like "you're glowing", "being pregnant really suits you", "congratulations, when are you due?" "when are you finishing work you lucky thing", "good luck", "make sure you take it easy and get lots of rest before the baby comes", "Oooh that's a lovely choice of name", "a little bit of what you fancy does you good!"

lucielooo Wed 06-Oct-10 09:25:10

Everything passionberry said!

And what my DP's niece said which is that we'd make great parents

buttonmoon78 Wed 06-Oct-10 09:27:31

I had really bad SPD with my dc3 so felt pretty crappy all the time. One friend said 'you'd never know you were in so much pain, you look so healthy - like you're glowing' which reduced me to tears (and did indeed make my nose glow). It was so lovely!

grinningbee Wed 06-Oct-10 09:31:38

I was going to say something along the lines of "would you like some nice choccy cake and a cup of tea" as well.

However, I will now say "would you like me to look after dd for a couple of hours so you can <insert activity of choice here>?"

34+4 here and would dearly love someone to say that to me so I can get a haircut!


Whiteybaby Wed 06-Oct-10 09:32:33

a lovely member of staff in waitrose told me what a lovely tidy bump I had and that I looked great. Was about 8 mths and fit to burst. It made my day grin. Made a nice change from the usual cries of "wow you are huuuuugee!"

wigglesrock Wed 06-Oct-10 09:36:27

I remember with dd1 a member of staff in Dorothy Perkins told me I had a neat bump when I was about 7 months and knackered, I could have kissed her, of course she made me so happy I spent more in the shop because I was in such a good mood grin

MarshaBrady Wed 06-Oct-10 09:38:03

You look great.
How are you feeling?
You are doing really well!

mistressploppy Wed 06-Oct-10 09:38:45

Was coming on to post what Whitey and Wiggles said - "what a lovely tidy bump" is such a compliment when you feel like a walking beluga

Miffster Wed 06-Oct-10 09:39:45

I have just thought of another one: 'I hope when I get pregnant I look as radiant and beautiful as you'.

Nobody has actually said this to me but I do remember someone saying it to a friend last year and she was still welling up in tears of joy about it, when I met up with her, several hours after a girl said it to her in a tea shop!

yama Wed 06-Oct-10 09:41:12

I liked: 'You are all baby'.

bluecardi Wed 06-Oct-10 09:43:20

This is a nice thread

ChoChoSan Wed 06-Oct-10 09:53:06

From my experiences reading this board, don't risk saying anything but congratulations grin. I had read posts of people taking offence at anything and everything...obviously some rude comments about size and paternity but lots of just kind/interested things.

If you meet me, you can say more or less anything you like, I'm delighted to be pregnant after years of infertility/ mcs, and delighted that anyone else should give a damn at all even if they dont express themselves in a mn approved way - I have found it lovely how many peole show an interest, even if they all say the same things! smile

Having said all that, this comes after years of having people tell me that I will get pregnant when I 'relax, and it'll happen', 'stop thinking about it' etc., and other such ignorant and unhelpful I suppose my gratitude for being pregnant will not be dimmed by others' comments!

sethstarkaddersmum Wed 06-Oct-10 09:55:27

If it's the first baby, 'I hope it makes you as happy as it has us.' and 'Having children is wonderful, it's the best thing we ever did.' are encouraging.

lucielooo Wed 06-Oct-10 10:20:44

ahh sethstarkaddersmum - that's lovely. And much better than some of the 'you have no idea what you're letting yourself in for' type comments!

It's not so hard really just be interested but positive/encouraging and try not to make the mum to be feel bad!

On a similar note I like that my antenatal book has FIRST TIME MUM! in capitals across the front page rather than 'first pregnancy' or similar. Think I'm still pleased to see the world 'Mum' in relation to me in any sort of capacity!

Floopy21 Wed 06-Oct-10 10:25:22

It would be nice to be told that my bump looks the right size, rather than huge .

I've liked; oooo, you have't put weight on anywhere else, it's all bump. (A lie, but I loved her for it!!)

WorrisomeHeart Wed 06-Oct-10 14:56:08

'Would you like a hand to the house with your shopping?'

Said by the lovely cab driver who took me home from the supermarket today - and the fare was under a fiver too, so he was being extra sweet! Every little helps at 39+1!

Hullygully Wed 06-Oct-10 14:57:00

Have a seat

DirtyMartini Wed 06-Oct-10 15:01:25

I liked it when people said "DS will be a lovely big brother".

He is (except when he squeezes dd's head)

DirtyMartini Wed 06-Oct-10 15:03:37

Also liked it when pregnant with first child that people said I was a very stylish pregnant lady. I still had energy to care about that stuff.

Funnily enough, they didn't say it second time around... <ponders>

DuelingFanjo Wed 06-Oct-10 15:04:46

I get 'your bump is very neat' which is nice as it off-sets all the 'really!!, so you have a while to go then shock' comments that I get from people who think I am huge!

Naetha Wed 06-Oct-10 15:07:27

Keep it simple.

"You look fabulous!"

jeffily Wed 06-Oct-10 15:08:59

grin at dirtymartini- reminded me v much of DD who I am imagining will be a head-squeezing kind of very lovely big sister!

I liked the "You can't even tell from behind!" comments, but DD was born at 34 wks and I already look like a whale this time, so can't imagine will be getting many of them this time round.

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