Mumsnet user who has experienced pregnancy loss since September 2018? Please take our survey

(21 Posts)
JustineBMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 20-Sep-21 14:14:50

Hello,

This is our regular survey looking at women’s experiences of miscarriage care in the UK.

The Mumsnet Miscarriage Care campaign has run since 2010 and its aims are to ensure that all miscarrying women, and all women experiencing other forms of pregnancy loss, get the good, respectful, empathetic care that they need.

Although our campaign is principally about miscarriage care, many aspects also apply to other forms of pregnancy loss, such as ectopic pregnancies that are ended by medical treatment, or stillbirths. Women who have experienced these since September 2018 are very welcome to fill in the survey. Apologies in advance if some of the questions aren’t appropriate to your situation, but there should always be an option for you to say that something isn’t applicable to you.

Because the aim of the survey is partly to compare results with previous surveys and see what (if any) changes there have been, we’re asking only women in the UK who have experienced pregnancy loss since September 2018 to fill this one in.

We know that pregnancy loss can be a difficult thing to talk about, so thank you in advance for sharing your experiences in the survey. We’ll use the results to inform and update the campaign.

A note about language: we’ve tried to be as sensitive as possible in choosing our words here. We hope we’ve made the right choices, but please do give us your feedback if you think something isn’t right.

Please click here to complete the survey.

Thanks

MNHQ

OP’s posts: |
MichelleScarn Mon 20-Sep-21 17:23:03

Completed and hope that change continues in this service with EPU.

KerryW87 Mon 20-Sep-21 21:25:51

I was fortunate to receive great care after I sadly lost my son last summer - survey completed x

Starseeking Mon 20-Sep-21 21:43:12

I've completed it. The vast majority of my care was excellent, however the first scan (internal) was absolutely awful. I wish I'd asked for a chaperone.

ofwarren Wed 22-Sep-21 00:52:05

I have completed.
I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks and I was treated dreadfully and nearly died of blood loss in A&E and then placed on all manner of wards, including a mixed sex one and had procedures done without pain relief.

eclipsechips Wed 22-Sep-21 08:28:35

Completed, although the majority of my care was excellent, the community midwife were awful - they did not cancel any of the upcoming appointments and I received no follow up communication or care from them.

Lanawondering Wed 22-Sep-21 16:04:08

Done... not sure if I'll qualify as last one was in 2018, but let's hope so, I surely got what to say now, when I can talk about without bursting in tears...

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RicherThanYew Mon 27-Sep-21 02:02:25

Done, I hope it helps in some small way.

Chanel05 Mon 27-Sep-21 10:52:58

Completed.

My care was appalling. Ime, no one medically cares if you lose a baby before that 12 week scan.

When I was told by the sonographer the news, when I'd seen a heartbeat before, they simply said, "There's no heartbeat". Not even I'm sorry. Then, wading through clearly very pregnant women to empty bladder, distressed and in tears, was a moment I'll never forget and was truly painful.

LittleLottieChaos Sun 03-Oct-21 07:10:40

Does this survey include TFMR? @JustineBMumsnet as it’s not mentioned (didn’t notice a reference to it) I assume not? However it should really be included under the umbrella of pregnancy loss?

kiwi17 Sun 03-Oct-21 14:34:33

Done and I'd like to reiterate what others have said - very little care is given before 12 weeks and we ended up having to pay a lot of money for a private scan to 'prove' the miscarriage after my bleeding as the nhs didn't want to know.

louloulemons Mon 04-Oct-21 08:54:12

Experiencing this during the pandemic was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Having to leave my DH sitting on a bench outside the clinic ( he wasn’t even allowed in the waiting room). Then experiencing that awful news alone and having to go outside and break the news to him, watching his face crumble as he realised I was crying as I walked towards him. Having to cry together on that awful bench outside with no privacy. It really added to the trauma.

Brouhahaha Wed 06-Oct-21 13:59:32

louloulemons

Experiencing this during the pandemic was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Having to leave my DH sitting on a bench outside the clinic ( he wasn’t even allowed in the waiting room). Then experiencing that awful news alone and having to go outside and break the news to him, watching his face crumble as he realised I was crying as I walked towards him. Having to cry together on that awful bench outside with no privacy. It really added to the trauma.


Oh love I'm so sorry. I can only imagine how hard that must have been xxx

Brouhahaha Wed 06-Oct-21 14:12:00

Sorry to hear all your stories ladies, I agree with others, that very little care is given before 12 weeks. My miscarriages were before 12 weeks and I never received any care or support. My first miscarriage at 6 weeks was put down to a late period - "before pregnancy tests most women wouldn't have even known they were pregnant and just thought they were having a late period" (but I did know and I was pregnant)

My last miscarriage was following a fresh IVF cycle at just under 6 weeks and when I called to tell the clinic it was immediately put down to a failed IVF cycle and no acknowledgement that I was pregnant and that I lost that pregnancy. I was immediately put forward for the next available cycle. It took me months in my trauma to realise what had actually happened and to come to terms with my loss. Each IVF cycle was traumatic thereafter, and it's already a horrendous thing to go through. The way I was treated when I called that day was so clinical and so medical and throughout subsequent cycles the pregnancy was only acknowledged as a "biochemical pregnancy". Never a loss and never a miscarriage.

I'm currently 33w pregnant and when I called EPU at 7 weeks terrified about bleeding the nurse couldn't have been kinder. It's so inconsistent.

elleb21 Fri 08-Oct-21 20:53:21

Brouhahaha

Sorry to hear all your stories ladies, I agree with others, that very little care is given before 12 weeks. My miscarriages were before 12 weeks and I never received any care or support. My first miscarriage at 6 weeks was put down to a late period - "before pregnancy tests most women wouldn't have even known they were pregnant and just thought they were having a late period" (but I did know and I was pregnant)

My last miscarriage was following a fresh IVF cycle at just under 6 weeks and when I called to tell the clinic it was immediately put down to a failed IVF cycle and no acknowledgement that I was pregnant and that I lost that pregnancy. I was immediately put forward for the next available cycle. It took me months in my trauma to realise what had actually happened and to come to terms with my loss. Each IVF cycle was traumatic thereafter, and it's already a horrendous thing to go through. The way I was treated when I called that day was so clinical and so medical and throughout subsequent cycles the pregnancy was only acknowledged as a "biochemical pregnancy". Never a loss and never a miscarriage.

I'm currently 33w pregnant and when I called EPU at 7 weeks terrified about bleeding the nurse couldn't have been kinder. It's so inconsistent.


Hi, I'm new to the app still trying to understand how it works.

I haven't had my period now. However they are irregular however I did a test earlier and it's positive but after doing it I did fall asleep and forget to check it so it was an hour after doing it I looked. It's a clear blue test could this be a false positive?

MrWhiteYT Sun 10-Oct-21 10:40:57

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

doodledeedum Fri 22-Oct-21 22:53:13

Second time I've filled this in. This time I went to PALS. Was awful the second time round at 12 weeks too

Lissie1986 Sun 24-Oct-21 13:23:27

Hiya ladies..
Recently found out I'm pregnant...AGAIN. lol 6 months after having c section with my DD.. I've had 2 positive cheap pink tests and 2 positive clear blues... both sets of tests showered a positive straight away before it got to the line on the opposite side ... so it seems to be strong hcg levels as I should be around 5weeks from my last period on the 19/ 9/ 21 ... but I'm wondering if any of you ladies had a misscarriahe before and took a test 1 month later and it was still a strong positive.. I had a weird period last month it was on time 1 days late (unless I got my period b4 12am that night lol )pain wasn't excruciating but clots were alot and quite big towards the end .. or am I just over thinking this lol ... thanks ladies x

Lissie1986 Sun 24-Oct-21 13:26:38

I've.posted in the wrong bit I'm.so sorry x

Squiff70 Sun 24-Oct-21 19:16:32

I've just completed the survey having lost twins at 19w gestation in 2019. Once we left that hospital after delivered our babies we had NO aftercare whatsoever and nobody contacted us to ask how we were. There was no follow-up and I wasn't even asked to go for a post-natal check so I never had one. It was like our babies never existed. So sad that women are still going through this trauma.

Lanawondering Sun 24-Oct-21 21:00:00

Squiff70

I've just completed the survey having lost twins at 19w gestation in 2019. Once we left that hospital after delivered our babies we had NO aftercare whatsoever and nobody contacted us to ask how we were. There was no follow-up and I wasn't even asked to go for a post-natal check so I never had one. It was like our babies never existed. So sad that women are still going through this trauma.


I am so so sorry for your loss... and completely cannot understand how loosing your twins doesn't "deserve" even just a call to check how you're doing... I'm sure it's a pour choice of words, I just can't find proper words if there are any at all!!! Truly hope that you'll come on the other side saine and truly hope you'll never ever have to experience anything like that again... wish you all the best💕

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