Banged my head on a shop window.

[TheClaws]

It was a classy jewellery shop, too. I bent closer to look at a ring, and banged smashed my head against the glass. All the shop assistants - they were five of them! - and customers turned around to stare. I continued to peer at the rings as if I didn't have a care in the world.

Please let me know you've embarrassed yourselves too in public spaces, and not just me?

[FondantNancy]

I have done this! But it was cakes, and everyone turned to see the fatty who was so excited about baked goods they forgot how windows worked.

[ilovesooty]

I walked into a glass door in an ice cream shop in Malta. Spent the rest of my holiday with a black eye and a fat lip.

[Coldhandscoldheart]

I have done this so often, I now habitually put my hand on the glass to work out where it is before leaning in.
See also mirrors in clothes shops and wondering who the rude bitch is that's marching straight towards you on a collision course

[TheClaws]

Another recent corker of mine, and rather more difficult to get over, was when I needed to see the school admin lady. It was a hot, sunny day and had just driven over, so in I marched with my sunglasses still on. She looked at me really funny. "Um, Mrs Claws?" She pointed to my head. One whole lens of my sunglasses was missing. I can't explain it. How didn't I recognise the difference between the eyes?? I must have looked an absolute sight.

I backed out of the office slowly...

[AyeAmarok]

Walking to work one morning passed an office building, the building had these big lights outside, big round white glassy balls about 40cm in diameter, hanging about 10feet up on the wall of the building.

I was wearing a hat with a slightly pretentious brim, walking along minding my own. One of the lights had come loose and was now hanging by its cable at head height, I didn't see it because of the brim. WHACK.

Fell on my arse in the street, very confused at what had just happened, looked in the window at the office workers who were having a meeting and staring at me open mouthed.

I just scurried away, with a red neck

[ImNotReallyReal]

A few years ago (about 2003?) there was a trend for large wooden giraffe ornaments. I was in John Lewis waking past them (not looking or thinking of buying one) when a woman with a giant handbag knocked over the entire display which promptly fell on top of me. I was covered in giraffes and quite badly bruised.

They offered me a cup of tea and a sit down. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. DH still says I should have milked it for an insurance claim (joking). But it was December on Oxford Street and it was highly embarrassing to be pulled out from under a huge pile of 6ft wooden giraffes...

These bastards...

[elmo1980]

On the way out one evening I was walking along the pavement with my friend who pointed something out to me across the road. As I was staring at it the next thing I know I'm stumbling backwards about 10ft and landing on my arse. Turns out I'd walked straight into a lamppost and fell comedy style.

When I looked up I had managed to do it in front of a massive wetherspoons and about 30 blokes were stood in the window absolutely pissing themselves at me.

Rather than just walk away I stood up and (god I cringe at this) took. a. bow!

What a weirdo I was. Nearly 20 years ago now but still curl up when I think of it.

[TheClaws]

elmo Why cringe? You embarrasses yourself with style!

[TheClaws]

Even *embarrassed

[InTheDessert]

Yep. The Fossil shop in the local mall has pure glass windows and doors. Usually there are racks and other items for display infront of the windows, so going in one day with DH, as soon as the display stopped, I turned to walk into the shop window.
The 2 shop assistants were clearly trying not to piss themselves.

[ChickenPoop]

Aah I love this thread 😂

I have done the jewellery shop headbutt. So has my husband.
I fell over on a rock while trekking in Thailand and threw an embarrassing strop .
Walked full whack into a hotel glass door in front of a lobby full of people as a child.
Fell over while rushing up Victoria tube escalator and then also at Sloane Square. Both the same week. It really fucking hurt but I was too embarrassed to stop and cry.
Misjudged a step in a busy London bar, landing in a heap at the foot of someone's table - not drunk.
Fell out of a dining cubicle on a second date. Again not drunk.

There's more, but those are the ones that immediately come to mind.

[sandgrown]

A new Tesco local opened by us. The windows were very clean and shiny. I was rushing to get in before they closed and ran straight into the doors. I fell between the door and a bin outside. I could not decide between waiting for someone to help me out or getting up quickly and hoping no one saw me! I went into the shop to get my milk and the assistant, who could not have failed to hear the bang, never said a word. When I got home I realised I had a great fat lip and black eye and was dripping blood!

[Knackered46]

I was covered in giraffes and quite badly bruised

[n0ne]

A few years back when I'd just started riding my bike, decided I could cycle home half cut (I could barely cycle sober). Flew off down the road, DH pedalling after me in a panic, rounded a corner and crashed straight into a lamppost. A lamppost, on the pavement. Directly opposite a popular fast food joint full of youths. Several came rushing out to pick me up (who was old enough to be their mum and really should have known better). Pretended I was fine (in truth had banged myself a good 'un and bent my bike).

[ageingrunner]

elmo80 no need to cringe at the bowing. That was a great response imo.

[AccioMerlot]

Have you seen this episode of Veep ?

[Frouby]

I had a new job. Very important meeting with a vip client who I had lightly flirted with on the phone for 2 weeks. Wore my special new meeting trousers for the occasion. Went downstairs to.collect him and he was fecking gorgeous. Big hunk of a bloke, blue twinkly eyes.

I turned to say something to him as went upstairs, tripped up over the wide leg of my special new trousers and fell flat on my face, bust my lip on the tread of the stairs and scattered all the paperwork everywhere.

Spent the meeting holding a cold pack and kitchen roll to my very thick lip and dying of shame. My boss thought it was hilarious. Bastard.

[Natsku]

Love the bowing response!

I managed to walk into a sign that was warning people of an open manhole just behind it, and fell over the sign (luckily not into the manhole). In my defence it was dark but I was with a group of people who took the piss out of me for that for ages.

Didn't mind the gap when getting on the tube while rather tipsy and one leg slipped down to the knee - heard a bit of horrified screaming I think but mostly laughter.

When Pokemon Go first came out I was playing it while riding my bike and managed to ride straight into a stone bollard in front of a busload of tourists.

[MyDarlingWhatIfYouFly]

Walked into a mannequin in a crowded shop, said "oh I'm sorry!" really loudly and put s steadying hand on her arm. Realised, looked around to see if anyone had noticed and about 20 people had. Sharp exit.

[Kirstyinnorway]

Also walked into a mannequin.

"Sorry!"... Pause ... "Oh, you're a mannequin!"

[TheClaws]

MyDarling similar to yours - but not - I was trying on some shoes with my DD the other day in one of those shops packed to the rafters with boxes of shoes. I was attempting to try on a shoe without sitting down, and reached out to steady myself - and it was heavy, too - on DD's shoulder. Except it wasn't DD. It was an elderly lady who tutted and sailed off.

[Kadena127]

I'm so accident prone I could fill my own thread but the one story that comes to mind: I was in the post office but it was one of those with the full length windows beside the automatic door. I was putting my money in my purse as I was walking, thinking I knew where the automatic door was. Nope. walked smack straight into the window beside it. Massive bang. Everyone stared. Hurried outside to where my then DP was waiting thinking I hope he didn't see. Found him almost rolling on the floor laughing.

[Oreocrumbs]

Mercifully there were no witnesses to this...

I was in the loo in ikea, and stood drying my hands when I clocked a woman I recognise, I found myself staring at her trying to place her, then realised I was staring - so I smiled, and she smiled back.

Then it 'clicked' and I knew where I recognised her from... it was me, looking in a mirror . And yes my eye sight is just fine, clearly it's my mind that is failing me 🤔.