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What happened to the mental health support village?

(227 Posts)
sadandanxious Wed 22-Feb-17 15:01:14

I'm sure a while ago there was a thread running for mental health support - a sort of supportive village where we could all come and talk about our mental health worries or just general life and feel safe and supportive. I posted under a different name back then and can't seem to find it any more.

Does anyone else remember it or have I just imagined it? Either way, would anyone else be up for it? Perhaps a yurt would be a safer, more comfortable place than a village?

dangermouseisace Wed 22-Feb-17 16:36:32

I remember...I think it tailed off after fluffy passed away TBH, unless I imagined the tailing off...

AnxiousMunchkin Thu 23-Feb-17 14:53:20

General support threads don't tend to last long it seems at the moment.

I like the idea of a yurt though. Or a teepee in summer?

colouringinagain Fri 24-Feb-17 23:48:50

I remember it, was a lovely place with a number of regulars who helped keep it going. Not sure where others are. Hopefully doing a bit better.... But why not start at yurt one? smile

AnxiousMunchkin Sat 25-Feb-17 00:07:02

I could do with the yurt tonight. Hiding in my room crying, I have visitors staying and it's just been too much holding it together all day as soon as I closed my door I just crumbled.

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn Sat 25-Feb-17 00:09:52

I just couldn't post after fluffy died. It really shook me. I still post occasionally and read a bit, but don't have the heart for more than that.

Joto369 Sat 25-Feb-17 00:20:04

Anxiousmunchkin I'm in the yurt too! My youngest ran my eldest (in Oz) today and I could hear him laughing and chatting as I was in the garden and I felt that familiar feeling in my chest and broke down in tears. I am so proud of him but miss him so much.

AnxiousMunchkin Sat 25-Feb-17 00:27:34

Aw Joto, that sounds tough, being pulled in both directions at the same time. Do you get to talk to him much too?

Feeling a little calmer now I've had my sniffle. Taken my meds. Which someone charmingly referred to as my "nutter's pills" today. Which was nice hmm

Joto369 Sat 25-Feb-17 00:43:46

I try to speak to him once a week but of course he is busy and he sometimes forgets! !! I am so proud - he's started his own business out there and his girlfriend is training to be a Dr so he's there for 4 years at least. Back in June though so I get to hug him. I thought after 2 years I'd be OK but I guess it'll always be there. Glad you feel ok niw I always do after a good cry. Nutter pills! Made me smile! 😂😂

AnxiousMunchkin Sat 25-Feb-17 06:17:11

Sadly the "nutter's pills" comment wasn't said jokingly/affectionately - it was cutting and as a criticism/pointing out my inadequacy and basically designed to hurt me and put me down. The person who said it "doesn't believe" in mental health problems and is of the school of "pull yourself together/stop being so lazy". angry

Visitors are here till tomorrow morning. I slept for about 4.5hrs, quite deeply but then I'd had 2 glasses of wine. Wide awake now and steeling myself for the day ahead. Game face on, keep the upset inside. Deep breaths.

I understand that after losing Fluffy/Creamhearts it is difficult to resurrect something she was a part of. Is there a way we could do it but acknowledge her as well? I was mostly a lurker then but her death still touched me, and the fact that even though she was in such turmoil and pain, she was also still awesome at supporting and helping others. Which I guess is what the village was about.

TheoriginalLEM Sat 25-Feb-17 06:29:29

I remember the village, it was my safe haven. I miss it and feel sad that it petrerd out. I think we were all devastated about fluffy.

For me personally life has become so much more busy (thankfully in a good way) and for others they moved on for various reasons.

I often wonder about the "locals" and hope they are doing ok. It was nice to be able to offer and receive support without having to repeat back stories and no fear of judgement or "pull yourself together " comments.

Joto369 Sat 25-Feb-17 09:29:35

I think the pull yourself together school of thought is really unhelpful and ignorant in this day and age of awareness. Maybe comes from fear but either way is very hurtful. I slept eventually 130 til 530 but woke with the awful buzz of adrenaline in my arms and stomach. I'm alone this morning as he's at work so I'm trying to distract myself with housework but really feeling it. So fed up as last week I really felt I was turning a corner 😯 hope your day goes well.

sadandanxious Sat 25-Feb-17 11:09:44

That's understandable re fluffy. I was mostly a lurker back then but even just reading her posts I felt incredibly sad when I found out what had happened.

anxious I like the idea of resurrecting it whilst acknowledging her. What would be the best way of doing that.

Pull yourself together is a really insensitive and unhelpful comment. Also "nutter pills" when said in a deragotory was is horrible. I'm sorry somebody made you feel crap about it anxious. If the medication helps I can't see how that'd be a bad thing and I think a lot of it comes from a lack of understanding and / or a lack of desire to understand sadly.

joto that sounds so tough re your son being in Oz.

I'm feeling quitedown today. I'm finding therapy tough and it's bringing up all sorts of emotions. Currently hiding in my bathroom trying to pull myself together a little before we have to go out food shopping.

TheoriginalLEM Sat 25-Feb-17 13:15:35

Fluffy was so very supportive and was kind to me, I would think she would want people to get the support they need. The village started after someone, I wont say who as she has had issues with being identified in RL that caused her trouble started a thread to get support and it all went from there. We had levels of "achievement" for how we were addressed and what we had done that day - getting out of bed was level 1 I think! dressed and out was level 5!!! anything else was a bonus and no one judged. It all started with a pub (of course!) and snowballed from there.

Life got in the way for me, still does but thankfully I am much better but will never forget the support I received here and still get.

If I new village were to be opened, or indeed yurts! I would love to drop by from time to time smile

I have joined the Wooly hugs threads and we knit and crochet like crazy, and talk about well, knitting and crochet - I joined when Zombie was in her final stages of cancer and she and the wooly hugs team came up with an idea of making woolly blankets for women undergoing cancer treatments. I have been crocheting squares ever since, and a lovelier, friendlier bunch you never have seen. The crochet certainly helps my anxiety and I have read a few others on there also find the same.

Was it Ed that used to crochet in the village? Sure it was - she was one of my good friends in the village and am hoping she is doing well with life.

Anxiousandsad - I think therapy can be really really tough. It took me years to find a good therapist, who actually challenged me and made me rethink how I see myself. It has been medication that works for me more than anything, but I am weaning myself off slowly. Shopping was always awful for me - I still don't really like it now so I hope it goes ok, can you treat yourself to something?

Joto I can sympathise with you re your DS, my DD isn't in OZ in fact she lives 30 minutes on a train yet I get the odd message on FB if I'm lucky, she never answers the phone. It breaks my heart - she suffers from anxiety (I feel SOOO bad about that) and I have to give her space but it hurts, I rarely talk about it because its too painful so I know how you must be feeling.

colouringagain I remember you! and keema you were both so lovely. How are you both?

AnxiousMunchkin Sun 26-Feb-17 07:12:34

I'm thinking around the whole concept of "fluffy", a beautiful yurt filled with soft rugs and fluffy throws and cushions all warm and cosy and safe where we can be supported and safe and protected.... and formally acknowledge Fluffy the person in the opening post and thread 'parameters' (for want of a better word) in that we honour her memory by continuing her spirit of supporting and comforting each other when we're able and receiving support guidance wisdom and gentle advice when we need it in in a safe space without fear of criticism or judgement.

I'm having a bit of an epiphany this morning, after at one point yesterday ending up screaming and in tears and still having my feelings utterly disregarded: I think my mother is a narcissist. I have a feeling that it's probably bloody obvious to everyone else. The most worrying thing is something my DP said when I was talking about it with him, that he thinks one of the reasons I find her so difficult is that we are very similar. That really really worries me. I would never want the people I love to be feel about me how I feel about her.

Not quite sure what to about it now though, and how she has patented me might have had an influence on my life & mental health.

Itisnoteasybeingdifferent Sun 26-Feb-17 08:36:11

I call mine my happy tablets... and they are a nice shage of orangy pink ..

Itisnoteasybeingdifferent Sun 26-Feb-17 08:51:37

Don't get worried but you are your mothers daughter. Yes you have a lot (actually 50%) of her in you.. So you are very likely to be very similar. I was having a chat with my father about myself and how my manic depression and how it affects me. He asked where I thought it comes from... silly sod. I smiled and said, "well I am my fathers son". He looked worried.

BUT.... you are not your mother, (and I am not my father). Your mum has not taken out a patent on you. That is your perrogative.

sadandanxious Sun 26-Feb-17 19:18:46

anxiousmunchkin your idea sounds wonderful. Can somebody else start it please? I don't feel like I'd do it justice if I started it...

Munchkin it'snoteasy is right. Try not to worry about you being your mother's daughter. Yes there are parts of her in you bt you are your own independent person. I think you can be similar without being all of her bad parts.

Lem I love the idea of levels of achievement! Sometimes just getting out of bed is so hard.

Im feeling very anxious this evening. I've felt out of sorts all weekend. I think I'm going to retreat into the corner with a fluffy blanket.

Ilovealfieandannierose Sun 26-Feb-17 22:47:20

I miss fluffy a great deal. Her capacity for compassion and empathy even through such pain and distress was incredible. She seemed like she had a great sense of humour too. I was devastated to read how professionals callously reduced her to a label in the press. I think your idea of a fluffy yurt is a wonderful one and a great way to honour the comfort fluffy provided to others.

colouringinagain Sun 26-Feb-17 22:59:25

Hi Neema and LEM so lovely to hear from you.

I'm having a complete nightmare at the moment. My 'd'h had a v determined suicide attempt end 2014, and end 2016 a major major psychotic episode where I had to call 999 cos I was scared he'd hurt me. He came out of hosp last Thurs. Staying for a bit with his brother. We're separated.

It's horrendous. My lovely dd is having intrusive suicidal thoughts and my lovely ds is very dad and very angry. I hate my oh now but have to spend time with him when this dcs see him, cos ds esp misses him loads. I think a lot of my mh probs have actually been down to living with a bipolar husband who when manic tells me I'm neurotic etc.

Have v fond memories of the village.

Been nice to spot you on other threads LEM and looking like you're doing lots better x.

Sorry other posters don't mean to ignore, just v nice to connect with old friends at such an awful time.

Itisnoteasybeingdifferent Sun 26-Feb-17 23:02:38

I don't think I ever knew Fluffy.

TheoriginalLEM Sun 26-Feb-17 23:27:11

ah bugger colouring, that really does sound tough. It does sound like separation might be a good thing. I truly hope things improve for you and your family. flowers

Itisnoteasybeingdifferent Mon 27-Feb-17 08:15:52

Are you saying you hate your oh because of the effects of him being a manic depressive and being mentally ill?

stuckinreverse Mon 27-Feb-17 08:49:57

i didn't know fluffy, i am very sorry to hear about her passing sad do you have room for one more, i'm new here blush i'm trying to keep my mind off an operation i have on friday, i'm worrying they'll run into complications while i'm under, i'm terrified of being put to sleep/losing control. trying to get an appointment with my doc today as my bloods came back with low vitamin d, already fully booked for this morning hopefully i'll get one later. spent the day with the in laws yesterday which i find extremely difficult because of past troubles with them, they're also ignorant when it comes to mental health problems but then that seems to be most people these days. hope you all have a good day flowers

sadandanxious Mon 27-Feb-17 10:48:04

colouring that sounds really tough. flowers to you. You have no need to apologise re only responding to friends. It's understandable that you'd like to reconnect smile

ilove the press response was awful wasn't it.

Hi stuck always room for one more smile It can feel like most people are ignorant. I'm sorry your in laws are that way. I think I've been super lucky that most people in my immediate team at work are very understanding of MH issues. Sadly I have issues speaking up though so even with the most understanding compassionate of people my response to how are you is I'm fine. I hope you manage to get an appointment with the GP.

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