An unfortunate welcome to newcomers, welcome to the club
@JooMooMies, I hadn't even thought about Valentines day coming up. Not likely I will get anything since I know from looking at the joint account that he sent flowers at Xmas (whether to his mum - not likely- or to OW) which certainly never came my way lol. My STBXH tole me he wanted to leave a week to the day after out 17th Wedding Anniversary and 3 days before we were heading to a week long family event....tosser couldn't even have waited a week. I suppose I'm lucky in regards to him not having to live in the house, for which i'm so thankful, I don't think i could have coped with him still being here.
@Lonelycrab as wellyboots says, hang in there, you have got this!! None of what they do makes sense and you could try and convince them until you are blue in the face bt they don;t budge. I have a lot of resentment, bitterness and anger in me because he has thrown 20 years away without trying to fix it. He is a coward and selfish and I have told him so. Stay strong and focus on you and keeping yourself well, for you and your son. I went through a rough patch 2 or 3 months in after feeling quite positive and I felt like i was letting my kids down by not being positive, smiley and enthusiastic. Both my son's psychologist and my counsellor said not to feel like this, as I need time to heal first. They said that i had to focus on me feeling better first or I would not be able to be there for my kids later on, they said that the kids would understand (mine are 14 and 11 so I don't think for one minute that they don't know the hurt etc being caused as it is happening to them too!). I found that just keeping myself as busy as possible, even if I didn't feel like it, was the best thing to do.
He has the kids from Friday until Thursday and I have plans for lunch, playing tennis, get a new tattoo, see a friend for a drink etc etc....I would never have been able to do that beforehand really as i have no support (whether he was here or away!!) and so my days mainly belonged to the kids! It's time to take back my life when I can and figure out who I am as a person - not as a mother or wife - but who i am as I don't think I've been her for a very, very long time.
Got to have another wee rant this morning, just had a message from him "A couple of questions, DS is not seeing psychologist just now and he is not going to swimming because the pool isn't heated?", and then "can you let me know how much your water bill is please".......If your child has told you they are going to psychologist/swimming, why do i need to confirm it?? Tosser!!
And as for the bill......erm no, this is because you don't want to phone your bank/the water office to find anything out because that would mean having to speak to someone - and most likely someone who doesn't speak English!! Tough shit asshole, you blew your chance of me doing anything more for you err about 6 months ago. Find out yourself.!! rant over lol