TTC after recurrent miscarriage thread 2 - we're not giving up

[UnicornsandRainbows1]

Shiny new thread! :)

[AnneLovesGilbert]

Thanks unicorn! How are you doing?

My boobs hurt I wish this was a good sign but it’s not. Over new year they got bigger and bigger and were incredibly sore before bastard AF landed.

[UnicornsandRainbows1]

Oh what a bastard! Trying to gear up for my 1st due date tomorrow and I'm either genuinely surprised at how strong a person I am, or surprised at how I haven't hurled myself off a cliff yet. Maybe both

Mine are starting to hurt here and there too, I slightly remembered this from the last time and it was an awful reminder that your body changes throughout a cycle and beyond. At least mine have finally gone down from being pg, unbelievably slowly but surely. Guess I know why now though! Pesky snail hormones

[keeponrunning85]

Just quietly marking my lurking spot.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you ladies.

I've got my second scan on Tuesday. Desperately trying not to overanalyse. One of my friends had IVF before Christmas and it was succesful but when she went for her first scan it wasn't looking good and she has been told to expect to miscarry. It has thrown me a little and made me feel like it is more likely we will get bad news on Tuesday. Irrational I know.

[keeponrunning85]

Actually that wasn't that quiet of me afterall! Sorry for the splurge ladies.

[Haffertee4]

Hey guys joining you on the new thread too. No news here I'm afraid, trying the Anne School of trying not to think about it too much, cd 17. My boobs hurt too but that seems to be normal since most recent miscarriage too. Never used to get sore boobs!
Hoping for good news for us all on he new thread, and failing that there will be good support as there always is if things suck.

[AnneLovesGilbert]

Hey keepon

Chat/splurge away! Always nice to see you. I'm so very sorry for your friend. You never know, my Mum's been babysitting for her neighbour's little girl as she's had loads of pain and bleeding at 12ish weeks and been in and out having scans and fearing the worst but has been told everything's all well in there now.

Can totally see why it's unsettled you. I remember howling when someone on my first pregnancy thread here lost her baby and I'd never even met her. When you're pregnant you can feel very invested in other people's pregnancies and it's almost a shared loss when it goes wrong. Can't even imagine it when you've also been through IVF to get there.

Remember to protect yourself as well, you have plenty on your own plate and your own concerns and she'll hopefully have other people to lean on if you find it too tough.

Your anxiety isn't irrational at all. After all you've been through of course it makes you nervy! But you've had a good scan and I feel so hopeful for you, please let us know how it goes on Tuesday. Everything crossed for you and mini keepon!

Will be thinking of you tomorrow unicorns. Due dates can be so tough

I found my one from my MMC to be less difficult than I'd expected. The grief comes and goes irrespective of dates but I'd really worried it would all come crashing down on the day I might have brought our baby into the world so I arranged to work from home and had my Mum over for lunch, but I was alright in the end, didn't mention it to her and felt it pass calmly.

However you feel is just that, be gentle with yourself love. Always here to chat.

[AnneLovesGilbert]

Hey Haffertee, join the painful boob club. It's bullshit. My nipples are sticking out through 3 layers of clothing. DH keeps looking at me hopefully. I've said if he promises not to touch them he can come near me later

I'm only a few days ahead of you, still feeling pretty zen. Just booked a trip away with DSC which always makes me happy. Good luck staying level about it all. Planning to test at a particular point or just going to wing it?

I can't think of anything I want to do less than POAS ever again. God those shiny white BFNs are a headfuck.

[UnicornsandRainbows1]

I think I'm going to go down the route of no ovulation tests so I won't turn into a crazy mofo. No dpo, no overanalyzing on certain days, just this is the rough day AF should arrive, dtd when I damn well want to (often obviously), no going into a scan thinking I should be exactly this date because I wouldn't have a clue. Just wing it, bulk buy pg tests, and hopefully they'll be less stress.

She says...

[AnneLovesGilbert]

Sensible approach. I think I’ll get back to temping in a bit, I’ve paid for the swanky version of the app so may as well use it. But it’s never made much difference to Dtd, in a good way, we’re doing it anyway, and I’ve really benefited from the mental break from it.

My favourite thing about having ovulation confirmed is an idea of when to expect AF and if ov was later than usual (varies by up to 5 days) I don’t get my hopes up.

[Patienceofatoddler]

Hi all - Thanks for starting a new thread.

I've really found it so supportive reading others stories and knowing others can relate.

I'm feeling really rough today with horrendous stomach cramps - I'm 3.5 weeks play finishing bleeding from our miscarriage.

I guess a part of me was so hoping we would be the lucky ones falling again straight away post mc but I'm 98% sure this is AF on route. So painful when ever she arrives.

Our bodies are just so incredibly cruel.

[Patienceofatoddler]

And just realised this is in the wrong thread and no idea how to delete.

Sorry! X

[Haffertee4]

Hi patience, and welcome ( unless I missed you on the other thread). Sorry to hear about he mc and at showing. I too thought that maybe I would get pregnant straight away after the most recent mc as my LG 6 was straight after my first mc. But no... just loads of preg symptoms left over. You're right our bodies do play cruel tricks sometimes

Thanks Anne, I'm finding trying not to think to much hard but better for not going crazy. I've also adopted a " aha a symptom of progesterone" mantra for every niggle to try and diminish symptom spotting.

I've only ever tested after af is late so going to continue with that I think. last two cycles have been 25 days instead of 28 so if anything I'll be testing late as I'm gonna still go with 28, so happy that ov testing prob silly as early if anything. So gonna stick to lots of dtd and see what happens.

[Haffertee4]

That said I'll prob turn into a crazy testing freak early next week now.... please feel free to tell me not to !

[UnicornsandRainbows1]

I think they were helpful as I could see that I was ovulating earlier and earlier (so towards a more normal time) each month after the 1st mc. But I think right now it might stress me out more, it's bad enough having to start to ttc and be in possible situation where I might mc 3 or 4 times in the space of 12 months if we were lucky enough to conceive quickly again. What a crazy year it's been!

[beanhunter]

Also place marking. Having another horrendous heavy af. Fed up.

[AnneLovesGilbert]

Oh bean, sorry. Doesn’t half take it out of a person. Are your iron levels okay? Rest up as much as you can.

[UnicornsandRainbows1]

So we've done another blood test this morning so should get a call back today to say they're going down and what we do from here. They've said I can have a scan at around 9 weeks too as the waiting between 6 and 12 at the best of times is enough to make the most calm of people anxious. And to top it all off today, I'm spotting and have to hold it all together for work soon. Luckily it's just 4 hours today and tomorrow and then I get the rest of the week off (and fuck right now I need it)

[AnneLovesGilbert]

How have you been today unicorns? Been thinking of you. I hope due date and medical interventions coinciding haven’t been too difficult. Do you have a supportive DP/DH? I hope you have people around to give you hugs when needed

Have you had your bloods back tonight?

I’ll stop hammering you with questions!

I’ve got a sodding ear infection but not feeling too rough and acu at the weekend and Pilates today have me feeling pretty level.

miami, has the FML feeling abated a bit or are you still feeling the same? Lots of love x

[Haffertee4]

Sorry about the awful af bean, it just makes it worse.....
Unicorn been thinking of you too... it sucks...
And Anne glad you are feeling sort of level, sometimes that is as good as we can manage. I definaitely find exercise helps to started running a while back and find the endorphins buzz useful when I feel really miserable. It's been really snowy and icy here so Zumba instead!

[Haffertee4]

Sorry about the awful af bean, it just makes it worse.....
Unicorn been thinking of you too... it sucks...
And Anne glad you are feeling sort of level, sometimes that is as good as we can manage. I definaitely find exercise helps to started running a while back and find the endorphins buzz useful when I feel really miserable. It's been really snowy and icy here so Zumba instead!

[UnicornsandRainbows1]

@AnneLovesGilbert We got through it. Bloods were 14 when it was taken on Thursday (or was it Friday. I can't remember). It was 12 yesterday so we're getting there slowly but surely. Work was a bit tough though

[AnneLovesGilbert]

Progress. But still frustrating. Sorry work was pants. Hope you’ve had a good day off and have a quiet week ahead.

[UnicornsandRainbows1]

Still faintly positive. Surely it must be something like 10 now. How even??

[AnneLovesGilbert]

ICs and FRERs pick up from 10. Sucks you're still waiting So sorry. Is your week going better apart from the shitty limbo?

I never POAS but I did an IC this morning, just cos. BFN, as expected. Just want AF to show up now.

My beautiful cat is in the vet hospital, had such a horrendous night, ending up taking her to the 24 hour place around 11 after she had some sort of fit. So worried about her. Going to see her after work and we'll either be able to take her home to keep an eye on her for a couple of days, or we'll have to let her go. I can't believe it. She was totally fine and normal a few hours before, didn't see her for a bit, then found her in the bathroom silent, couldn't stand, covered in sick and so so poorly.

Feeling a wee bit battered today. Probably POAS on the off chance it was good news as we could use a boost. Oh well! Don't know when I ovulated but AF should be due from now till Saturday I think.

[di626]

@AnneLovesGilbert aw im sorry Ireally hope she is ok, i know how attached we get to pets & keep us going.

@UnicornsandRainbows1 hopefully nothing in couple days 🙏🏻🙏🏻