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That MIL has bought DS an expensive Thomas the tank Train set after I told her we didn't want it?

(317 Posts)
TheDevilWearsPrimark Mon 10-Mar-08 14:36:46

She has wanted to buy him one for a while. I told her we would prefer Brio, or even a cheaper one that isn't branded.
This morning I got a delivery of a full train set and various trains and accesories.
He is delighted of course, and loves it but I am angry she has spent too much money and gone against our expressed wishes.

Am I just ungrateful?

BeauLocks Mon 10-Mar-08 14:38:04

Sorry but yes I think you are. smile

alicet Mon 10-Mar-08 14:38:21

Can I ask why you didn't want this but Brio would be OK? Brio is much more expensive than Thomas if it's about the money!

gingerninja Mon 10-Mar-08 14:39:04

Typical MIL. Grrr. No I think if you were clear that you didn't want it then she's trampling on you.

gingerninja Mon 10-Mar-08 14:40:25

It's about being over-rulled in your own house though BL. The actual toy isn't really the issue it's the disregard for your feelings and opinions

Lauriefairycake Mon 10-Mar-08 14:40:33

clarification please, why did you want different one?

Kathyis6incheshigh Mon 10-Mar-08 14:41:18

Buying Expensive Toys You Don't Need is relatively trivial compared to some of the things MILs do - I would thank her nicely and put up with it if I were you!

PotPourri Mon 10-Mar-08 14:41:36

Make sure it is DH who confronts her about it - she can just ignore you (or so many MILs think)!

I think it is up to you if you don't want him having something. think carefully about why though, so that DH can explain the rationale to MIL. (I.e. show that there is more to it than just being ungrateful)

You are right to be upset though. she went against yoru express wishes. That's not right.

TheDevilWearsPrimark Mon 10-Mar-08 14:42:50

Brio is cheaper in the toyshops around here.

I showed her one in elc which would have cost a third of the price.

I have a real aversion to themed or branded childrens toys, I think they are faddy and overpriced due to the association.
He has never even watched Thomas so it's not as if he would be happier with tis set.

BeauLocks Mon 10-Mar-08 14:43:19

I think it would be fine if you said you didn't want trains of any sort because (eg) they are a symbol of our imperialistic past etc etc but to be annoyed because the make and size is wrong is, imvvvho, a tad ungrateful.

beansprout Mon 10-Mar-08 14:43:54

I sympathise. The Thomas kit is hideously expensive so adding to it will cost twice as much as any other train set, plus I really don't like branded toys. As someone whose house looks like the Island of fecking Sodor thanks to well meaning relatives, I feel your pain!!

posieflump Mon 10-Mar-08 14:44:02

is it his birthday or just an out of the blue present?

TheDevilWearsPrimark Mon 10-Mar-08 14:44:37

We also wanted a train set we could add to as and when we want, but I am loathe to pay the prices for the thomas trains and accesories. She was well aware of this.

teakettle Mon 10-Mar-08 14:44:38

I think if you were happy for him to have a wooden train set and she got him one then you have little reason to complain. If you are legislating the type of present she buys its going a bit far to legislate the brand. He will be unaware of the expense so isn't being 'spoilt' any more than if he had the unbranded equivalent.

No1ErmaBombeckfan Mon 10-Mar-08 14:44:41

I am sorry that your mil has disregarded your opinions and gone over your head and bought him a Thomas trainset.. take her to task for that..

Just curious - why are you against the whole Thomas thing???

meemar Mon 10-Mar-08 14:44:47

It sounds a little ungrateful without knowing why you specifically didn't want her to buy Thomas stuff.

As someone pointed out Brio is also very expensive, and branded.

If your son loves Thomas then what's the problem?

BeauLocks Mon 10-Mar-08 14:45:03

Crossed posts - I see you have an aversion to branded toys so perhaps not all that ungrateful.

I, on the other hand, am a branded toy manufacturer's dream as are my children. grin

meemar Mon 10-Mar-08 14:45:37

But you can buy unbranded stuff to add to the Thomas train set.

teakettle Mon 10-Mar-08 14:46:00

wooden thomas is compatabile with ikea, tesco, brio etc. Did she get tomy or take along?

No1ErmaBombeckfan Mon 10-Mar-08 14:47:40

Sorry x-posted..

soapbox Mon 10-Mar-08 14:47:56

I am rather old fashioned in this regard, in that I cannot bear the current trend for asking and telling what gifts are to be given or received. The giver gives whatever the giver wants to give, within reason. The only time I would be cross, would be where it was something they knew was banned (e.g. a mobile phone). Stating your preferences as to the nature of the gift, might just be about passable if asked for, but they are just that 'preferences'.

PotPourri Mon 10-Mar-08 14:49:22

Sell it and buy something different then - does she come round lots/i.e. would she really know?

I also have an aversion to branded stuff - but my girls don't unfortunately, so I have had to soften on that. In fact, they adore thomas and DD2 is a huge Fifi fan. Can you clear out some other stuff to make room for it, if too many toys is one of hte issues??

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kathyis6incheshigh Mon 10-Mar-08 14:49:43

Look, my MIL drives us mad buying horrible electronic toys that make a dreadful noise and break within weeks. But she does it because she loves them and she thinks they will like them. Therefore the bottom line is that they are lucky to have a granny who thinks about them and cares. Surely that is way, way more important than our opinions about what we want our kids to have?

In a similar vein, my mum has a photo of me as a baby dressed in a hideous bundle of lace which apparently was a present from my granny. What that photo says to me is:
1. my granny loved me enough to buy me a dress she thought was really special
2. my mother was thoughtful enough to dress me up in said dress and take a photo to make granny happy.

scottishmummy Mon 10-Mar-08 14:50:22

oh smile graciously and accept the gift, after all your son likes it.don't get all Machiavellian and read too much into it.

she is an adult who chose to buy that particular present. you should be delighted she shows an interest in her grandson.

maybe don't be so controlling expressly telling people a preferred brand - hmmmm

for numerous parents it is a perennial saying to relatives/Grand parents don't spend too much - they generally don't listen and yes do their own thing

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