Name changed because it's outing and I don't need my family finding my main account!
For Christmas, I commissioned an artist to do a stylised portrait of my sibling's beloved pet. I knew it was a bit of a risky gift but they are very tough to buy for as they're quite well off and really have everything they need, and I figured that even if they hated the actual picture, they would appreciate the thought that went in to it, and because we don't live near each other they could hide it in a cupboard for most of the year if needs be!
I put a lot of time and effort into it, going back and forth with the artist to get it right, and while it wasn't excessively expensive, it wasn't cheap either.
Anyway, Christmas came and went and I didn't hear anything from my sibling, but that's not massively unusual so I didn't think anything of it. I then came to stay with my Mum and found the picture lying on the side in her house. I remarked that sibling hadn't taken it home, and she said (very defensively) "[Sibling] doesn't think it's very good so wanted to talk to you about it". I was a bit aghast and my mum added that my sibling was "worried" that I had been ripped off and that's why they wanted to speak to me.
In my eyes, this is rude beyond belief - it's clearly a gift that a lot of thought has gone in to, and in my opinion if you get a gift you don't like, you smile and say thank you anyway. Also I don't think it's the receiver's place to worry about whether or not a gift is worth what the giver paid for it.
For my sibling, I'm guessing that it's just good sense to reject the gift considering they don't like it - I'm assuming they think I would be able to get a refund (although of course I can't because it's personalised and I approved it before it was sent out!).
I feel incredibly hurt by both my sibling's actions and my mum's vehement defence of them. We were brought up to always be grateful for gifts, regardless of whether or not we actually liked them, and I can't help but feel if this were the other way around, my mum would be horrified with me.
For background:
- I lost my spouse last year so it was something of an effort to get Christmas presents sorted
- Mum, sibling and I have quite a difficult dynamic - sibling is the golden child, regardless of behaviour, and my mum will always take their side, so I am no doubt oversensitive when it happens
- Sibling didn't get me - or my child, their only nephew - anything for Christmas, but they would say this was deliberate so we could choose something when we next saw them
So I guess my question is - AIBU to be hurt?