Cleaner put photo on facebook

[PortToTheLeft]

My cleaner has a facebook page where photos of cleans she has done are often posted - clean ovens, hoovered carpets, clear showerscreens etc. All fine.

She did my house today and I've just seen she put a thing on facebook of pulling a load of hair out of my shower drain with a comment to tell people to remember to clean their shower drains weekly.

I get this is grim but:
a) this is NOT a job I would expect her to have to do - it is definitely something I usually do.
b) I am under a lot of pressure just now and not 100% well. One symptom of this is that my hair is literally falling out. I have a shower and it comes out in clumps. I have bald patches all over my head. This is really really upsetting me. It does mean my shower drain needs cleared more often (every couple of days). I just happen not to have done it today.

I try to be as considerate as possible - I always tidy before she comes, I ensure the toilets are presentable etc.

The FB video doesn't identify me, but she must know I'll see it as our contact is always by FB messenger so I feel this is basically a way of telling me how grim I am. I am also already pretty emotional about the hair loss anyway.

So AIBU?
YABU: I am a disgusting person and should apologise to her.
YANBU: Not acceptable, if she had an issue she should not clean it, or say something to me.

I'm not sure what to do next either - regardless of whether I am unreasonable or not, I will not feel comfortable with her in my house feeling that any grimness of mine will end up on facebook.

[Plsv87]

YANBU

[theonlywayisup33]

You are being unreasonable if you think there is a problem with a cleaner cleaing up the shower drain. My cleaner does this weekly.

Your cleaner is being unreasonable to post pics without asking your permission.

[Moominmama5]

I’d tell her this has upset you and ask her to remove it. YANBU

[Hopdathelf]

That sounds really hard in the circumstances and YADNBU. Even without your circumstances I would not be happy. What my cleaner sees and does in my house is, as far as I’m concerned, confidential. Very bad etiquette on her part and I would be having a word.

[MaitlandGirl]

I’d tell her that you’d seen the video and how upsetting it was (assuming you don’t mind her knowing you’re unwell and that the hair loss is a symptom) - with any luck she’ll be a decent person about it and remove the video.

I hope things start to improve for you health wise.

[WorraLiberty]

I can't select either of those choices.

Basically, you're taking it too personally although I can understand why because it's your drain but this is her job.

I couldn't get fussed about it any more than I would if it was a gardener reminding people to prune back their plants.

[Anordinarymum]

Why hasn't she cleaned the hair before if that is her job. Cheeky cow

[MrsTwitcher]

Thats mean. I would be really upset if someone posted pics without my permission. I would speak to her in person and say how disappointed you are and can she remove the post. I would also get another cleaner and tell her you no longer want her.

[BecomeStronger]

YANBU at all and as a cleaner, if she really thinks this should be done weekly then it is her who should be doing it IMO

[Plsv87]

My cleaner sometimes puts before and after pics on her FB - from various different houses including mine. She always checks first and you can't identify the house from the pics. I don't mind at all, they are meant to show what a great job she does (and she does do a great job).

However, yours sounds a bit shaming and she didn't check first. I would message her asking her to take the post down. Her reaction to that would probably help me decide whether to sack her off completely.

[WellIWasInTheNeighbourhoo]

You obviously recognised it was your house, so others could too. All sorts of illnesses can cause people to lose a lot of hair, if you didnt ask her specifically to clean it she could have left it alone. Using the image as facebook clickbait for her business without your permission is not acceptable. I would fire an employee for invading my privacy and trying to publicly shame me like that.

[LaceyBetty]

Why is a cleaner telling her clients to clean? That's literally her job. YANBU and I would not have her back. Sorry you are not well OP.

[rainkeepsfallingdown]

I'd sack her.

Unless she asks for your permission, it's a breach of the relationship you have with your cleaner.

[PepperPotty]

Is she sharing it promote her cleaning business? I.e here’s all the jobs that need doing/helpful reminders to garner more likes and interest in her business. So it’s possible she isn’t sharing it with any bad intentions towards you or thinking poorly of you.

That said, I can see why it would upset you and I think it’d more than acceptable for you to tell her so and ask her to take it down (and make it clear you don’t want her to share anything else from your home).

Sorry you’re unwell

[Treacletreacle]

I'm a cleaner and I wouldn't dream of doing that to any of my customers. How long has she been your cleaner? When i first started out I had a facebook page which I would make tips and suggestions on but never posted pictures unless it was of my own bath etc.. I would definitely have a word if I was you. Sorry she has made you feel like this.

[CaptainMyCaptain]

I would probably sack her for posting pictures of my house on Facebook. I wouldn't dream of posting a photo of my workplace on SM.

[Freshprincess]

Ask her to remove and tell her you find it upsetting because you are losing hair because of your illness.
She probably hasn’t thought much further than it’s something to post to boost her profile on FB.

[justanotherneighinparadise]

Does she have your permission to post photos of your house on social media? I would message her and say you saw the video, felt humiliated and would like her to take it down. Then I’d probably (because I’d feel so embarrassed) not want her back again in the house.

Would she also think it appropriate to photograph shit stains down the toilet it used sanitary products in the bin? Surely being discreet is part and parcel of the job. I find it bizarre!

[etinox]

Rude unprofessional and unkind!

[Chloemol]

YANBU and I would be telling, yes telling her to remove the picture now and not to put any more up of her work at your house

[TramaDollface]

I would sack her instantly

[Suzi888]

@WorraLiberty

I can't select either of those choices.

Basically, you're taking it too personally although I can understand why because it's your drain but this is her job.

I couldn't get fussed about it any more than I would if it was a gardener reminding people to prune back their plants.

This^^
I am really sorry about your hair loss, must be devastating. I don’t think you cleaner meant to upset you though.

[unebaguettepastropcuite]

I take it she didn't name you and say you were disgusting?

I think just a message saying you wouldn't usualy mind if she had asked you, but that given your hair loss is due to health issues, you find the post upsetting and would like her to take it down.

If she doesn't comply, then you need to find another cleaner

[overoptimism]

That's so rude and unprofessional.

You need a new cleaner.

Hope you feel better soon.

[tyrannosaurustrip]

That's really rude. I actually felt quite shamed this morning as I realised I'd pulled a huge amount of hair out of the shower drain yesterday (no health reasons but I have long hair and shed like a Labrador) but left it in the shower tray to deal with when I got out and got distracted by toddler and forgot, it was gone this morning and cleaner came yesterday afternoon so she obviously dealt with it. I'd really hate to think she thought I left a load of hair and soap scum on the side because I knew she was coming. However, I wouldn't feel terrible about her doing it routinely, though I do try and keep on top of it myself as well.

But in your scenario, I'd actually be considering getting another cleaner. I would not in any way allow permission for 'before' photos of my house to be posted anywhere, and would really doubt anyone who would post them without permission. And it does feel a bit pointed. I think in the first instance, raise it with her and ask her to take it down and then see what her reaction is.