Hate partner wearing ex Wedding anniversary gift

[AllABitOdd]

Okay, totally prepared to say I'm being unreasonable.

DP and I have been living together for 2 years. No issues, totally see a future together. In fact, it feels like we should have always been together.
Except we haven't. He had a brief marriage before meeting me. Was already on the rocks by the 2nd anniversary. Divorced before the 3rd.

Problem I had no s she bought him an expensive watch for their first anniversary (thousands of pounds- something I could never afford) and he still wears it and I hate it. He has kind of mentioned about selling it/part exchanging it but hasn't.

I don't know why but I just hate it. It constantly reminds me that's at some point he had planned a future with someone else.

I almost want to push harder for him to sell it or trade it in for a different one?

AIBU?

[Shizzlestix]

That’s a bit off of him, IMO. A valuable and sentimental present from an ex? I don’t blame you wanting it gone. If he is happy to sell/part ex it, then mention it and see what he says. Saying that, you can’t demand, it’s his to do with as he wants. I would want it gone, tho, too personal an item knowing the history of its provenance.

[nancybotwinbloom]

I get it.

But it's just a watch.

Doesn't mean anything he just likes the watch by the sound of it.

If if was to divorce my DH I wouldn't get rid of my tits just because he bought them for me

[BigBadVoodooHat]

YABU, I think. He can’t get rid of everything that is connected to a previous relationship, and there’s no reason why he should.

It’s his watch, he likes it so he wears it, and he shouldn’t be pressured into selling it just because you hate it.

[BigBadVoodooHat]

If if was to divorce my DH I wouldn't get rid of my tits just because he bought them for me

🤣🤣🤣

[SomeoneTellBorisHeHasDandruff]

I think the worst thing you could do is push him to sell it. It has to be his decision.
Does he just love the watch rather than have a sentimental attachment to it because of his ex wife? If so why are you so threatened by it?
Everyone has a past and you have to accept that, getting rid of the watch won’t erase the ex wife.

[GhostCurry]

Nah YABU. Sorry. Watches aren’t all that sentimental IMO and they are valuable items. I can see why he doesn’t want rid of it if he likes it.

Yes he was planning a future with someone else at one point. Then it didn’t work out and he met you. Nothing to be unhappy about in this scenario.

[FreshfieldsGal]

Could he maybe get your name or the date you met engraved on the back? Would that make you feel any better?

I still have my engagement ring from my first fiancé, only because when I tried to sell it I was offered a fraction of what it cost, due to the abundance of second hand diamond rings. I don't attach any emotional value to it (it's not something I wear though obvs.)

[HelloDulling]

My DH bought me a vintage Rolex for my 40th. If we were to split, the watch would very much stay. It’s my watch, it’s not a symbol of anything, unlike my wedding ring.

[Anordinarymum]

It's just a watch OP. Is there a little more to this story than just the watch?

[Honeyroar]

He’s not wearing it because it reminds him of her. He’s wearing it because it’s a watch he really likes. Just a watch. He might have wanted that particular watch for ages. He might not have seen another one he likes as much. Why should he have to get rid of a watch he likes just because his ex bought it. Come on. It’s not a big deal.

[june2007]

He,s lstening to Zsa Zsa Gabore. (always keep the ring.)

[TigerBrite]

I have a 1ct diamond engagement ring from an ex and DH would have to pry it off my cold dead finger. It cost thousands... if I sold it I’d be lucky to get £1k, certainly not enough to replace it with a similar ring. I’m materialistic and to me it’s just a pretty rock. You may think your husbands watch has sentimental value, but to him it’s probably just a watch.

[ReneeRol]

YABU. It's very expensive and nice, not sentimental, he should keep it. I have some lovely, very expensive, jewelry from a couple of exes, I wouldn't sell what looks good and isn't easily replaced. It doesn't matter where it came from.

[BigBadVoodooHat]

Could he maybe get your name or the date you met engraved on the back? Would that make you feel any better?

That would be weirdly placatory. He shouldn’t have to pander to his partner’s insecurities like that.

OP, unless you married to your childhood sweetheart or never had a relationship before, we all planned a future with someone else at some point. Future partners shouldn’t demand that the evidence be erased.

[MacDuffsMuff]

YABU - it's a watch. Surely you don't expect to get rid of every little thing anyone else has ever given you?

I wear my first engagement ring on my right hand and have done for the last 30 years. DH and I have been together for 20 of those years and not once has he asked me to remove it. It's a beautiful ring and I like it. He did make sure that the stone on the one he gave me was bigger though.

[BigBadVoodooHat]

He,s lstening to Zsa Zsa Gabore. (always keep the ring.)

I thought Zsa Zsa advocated keeping the house?

[AllABitOdd]

Thanks all. I Kind of new I was probably over thinking it. He does like it, but I don't think there is any sentiment attached to it. I think the reason the part ex thing hasn't happened is because it's only a few years old and has depreciated in value so would need to add £££ to replace. He likes watches and would want a new one with the money. Maybe in a few years it will go back up again in value and we can get rid of it what annoys me a bit, is he has others. He could just wear the others until said watch goes back up in value and is worth exchanging. That annoys me actually

I'm happy to except that IABU...but I can't pretend to like it!

[GaryTheDemon]

Yabu it’s a valuable luxury item, it’s not a framed photo of her. Is this because it was expensive - you mention it’s not something you could have bought?

[ChristmasStocckings]

@FreshfieldsGal

Could he maybe get your name or the date you met engraved on the back? Would that make you feel any better?

I still have my engagement ring from my first fiancé, only because when I tried to sell it I was offered a fraction of what it cost, due to the abundance of second hand diamond rings. I don't attach any emotional value to it (it's not something I wear though obvs.)

This seems a little unreasonable as well. What happens if OP and her boyfriend split up? He needs to editing the engraving for the next girlfriend? It’s just a watch, let the poor guy wear it especially if OP can’t afford to buy him a similar one

[TheDowagerDuchessofMwwwahaha]

Waste not, want not!

[MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously]

I think for him it isn't loaded with emotional significance. For you it has become this big thing that you are overly focused on. The truth is he was married before - you can't erase a person's past. But you know, logically that the marriage was a mistake and he doesn't want to be with his ex wife.
Try not to get hung up on the watch - he probably just really likes it and doesn't connect it with his ex wife at all.
That said, if it really does bug you,bi think he should sell it and but another one. Your peace of mind is more important.

[SchrodingersImmigrant]

Sorry, but YABU.
I thought you will say something like "cosy jumper and tries to cuddle me in it".

[Floralnomad]

YABU and extremely so , it’s only a watch what would you do if they had children or she had bought him a dog suggest he didn’t see the kids and had the dog rehomed .

[AllABitOdd]

@GaryTheDemon yes, in truth that does irk me somewhat

[badacorn]

YABU it’s a watch. He probably likes wearing it because it’s a nice watch not because of the ex.