Friend gave me covid - AIBU about how I feel right now

[aibuQuestion]

Just want to know if I'm overreacting here.

I agreed to babysit a friend's baby for an hour last week so she could run an errand. They came to my house and I kept baby in the sling throughout (baby's happy place apparently).

Three days later I got a call from this friend who had tested positive for covid. The following day I started feeling unwell, a couple of days after that my DC developed a temperature and my DH also started feeling unwell. We got tests and are currently all covid positive.

The friend had said her symptoms started the night after I babysat. So two days before she told me about the test result. I'd seen her DH one of the residential streets here wearing a mask the day after I babysat (so the day of the night her symptoms started) which I remember thinking was odd as literally nobody else was on the road except for me. But maybe a coincidence or he always wears it - as she said symptoms started that night.

If she'd told me when her symptoms had started I would have been way more careful around my DC and DH but as I had no symptoms myself and was unaware of hers, nothing changed. Still cuddling and kissing my two year old, sharing cutlery at dinner, not wiping down handles indoors etc. My DH continued to go to work and saw friends (they all have to self isolate now and one feels unwell). Luckily I knew about the result before going into work that weekend and before seeing my high risk family members. By sheer luck I'd had to cancel a play date the day after I babysat.

AIBU to be very angry that I could have prevented infecting my family?

[aibuQuestion]

Just to add I've been so careful throughout the year. We still wipe down shopping deliveries and open post at the door - despite actually having it right now!

[Leaannb]

The only way you could have prevented this was not to watch the child at all. YABU

[Bobbiepin]

You are upset that a friend passed you a virus she didn't know she had? Really?

In terms of protecting your family, if you are breathing in the same room there's not much else that can be done. Covid is transmitted through air not on surfaces.

[Ohalrightthen]

Surely you accepted this risk when you agreed to spend a couple of hours cuddling her baby?

[Bluntness100]

I think you’re being a bit harsh here. Sure in hindsight she should have contacted every single person she had been in contact with, but she wasn’t unwell when she saw you. Developed it after and informed you as soon as she knew. It is what it is.

[ApolloandDaphne]

I thought the virus had a longer incubation period than just a few days. It is very possible you were infected before you babysat. It is impossible to tell if your friend infected you. Once you were infectious the chance of you infecting your family was always going to be very high.

[Marisishidinginmyattic]

YABU. You don’t know if you caught it from her. You are assuming she lied about when her symptoms started. It’s shit that you’ve caught it but you’re wasting energy analysing every little bit of whatever when in reality you shouldn’t have babysat for someone if you are this frightened of catching it.

[Smallsteps88]

You have to let this go. She didn’t know she had it. You took the risk of watching her child. Acknowledge your own part in this.

[nibdedibble]

YABU - it would have been so hard to prevent infection, they could have got it before you’d been told, even if she’d told you early. Too many variables to control here and you basically can never know. Spread within families is almost guaranteed!
Sorry. Take care.

[rosegoldivy]

Sorry but you shouldn't have agreed to look after the baby as there is always risk of catching the virus. Hope you and you family get better soon

[seayork2020]

You did not have to babysit, sure it was a nice gesture but don't blame her now, and you cannot guarantee it was from her you caught it or from anyone else

[RosaBaby2]

YABU

[lifesalongsong]

So did you catch it from the baby or were you in close contact with your friend?

I don't quite get the timing, the symptoms started the day after?

[nibdedibble]

OP wanted her friend to have told her sooner, to try to prevent OP infecting her family.

That’s her AIBU, it’s not about her having babysat.

[SchrodingersImmigrant]

@ApolloandDaphne

I thought the virus had a longer incubation period than just a few days. It is very possible you were infected before you babysat. It is impossible to tell if your friend infected you. Once you were infectious the chance of you infecting your family was always going to be very high.

I just came to say similar. It's very much possible it's a coincidence and you were both already infected from elsewhere.

[Eslteacher06]

Agree with pp. Plus, you shouldn't have looked after the child if you were trying to be careful. She didn't willingly pass it on.

And this coming from someone who has to close 4 classes with 30 students because a student came in unknowingly with covid

[CandleWick4]

Sorry OP but you took the risk by agreeing to babysit. How can you be mad at her for passing on a virus that she didn’t know she had? Plus I’m guessing it took a couple of days for her to get her test result so she wouldn’t have been able to tell you any sooner would she? Honestly I think you’re being ridiculous

[Malachite234]

Maybe you have her the virus ?

Totally ridiculous to blame her- it could have come from anywhere.

[Augustbreeze]

Are you saying that the minute any of us realises we have one of the three main symptoms we should tell anyone who might be a close contact?

You could be right, but I don't think anyone's doing that at the moment. A few might tell you if they've booked a test, most wouldn't until they had a positive result and some not even then.

[ArcheryAnnie]

If you willingly have close contact with other human beings, who are not in your household bubble, then you have to assume there is a possibility that either they may be currently asymptomatic but infected, and will infect you, or that you may be currently asymptomatic, but infected, and will infect them.

It could just as easily been you infecting them, tbh. How would you have felt about that?

[springlike]

Have you a crystal ball? Why would you assume a friend had lied to you? I think you've just been unlucky. Get well soon.

[GoldfishParade]

So basically, you decided to live your life as if there was no pandemic, and are now angry you have a virus?

Come on OP.

[SameToo]

If you’re ‘so careful’ then don’t babysit other people’s children I’m not wiping shopping down but I’m not babysitting people’s kids!

[Earltray]

She certainly had a speedy test turnaround.

[CloudsCanLookLikeSheep]

Ffs she didn't know she had it, its highly contagious virus with asymptomatic incubation period.

I think you should do her a favour and dump her.